Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today is Day 66, Tuesday. Time just seems to be passing, but as Emerson suggests patience is the key here. So, four days have passed since my last article. But, there has been some positive change occurring.
Day 63, Saturday, was basically another day like the other days of the preceding week. Massive fatigue, no energy and still no ability to swallow food or liquids. I was continuing to lose weight. I attempted to be a little productive, but I don't feel like I was. However, even though I'm dealing with some “brain fog,” probably caused, at least partially, by not getting enough protein or carbs, I did come to the realization that I had to find a way to stop this downward slide.
So, Day 64, Sunday, I reviewed the comprehensive printed information I was given and the in-depth conversation I had with the Cancer Center nutritionist. I decided to make a shopping list of foods that would work with the exact circumstance I found myself in. It was a long list and even included a couple things that might be considered “junk food,” but they were highly caloric and I need calories.
Carolyn had to go out that afternoon and I asked if she wouldn't mind shopping for me. So, I gave her my credit card and thanked her in advance. Late that afternoon she returned with all but a few items on the list. I immediately broke into a few of the items and, indeed, with care, I could ingest the food items. (I had already discovered that oatmeal and some soups would go down with care). Additionally, the food and fluids I requested tasted good, too. Was I turning a corner?
Day 65, Monday, a major move forward. I was able to consume everything I tried from my shopping list and ate more food and consumed more liquid on Monday than I had for the entire previous week and a half combined. Not only that but, I actually stopped the weight loss and was regaining a little of that weight by the next morning.
I also went to the local Walmart with Carolyn at the wheel and walked through the store finding the few items that were not available when Carolyn shopped for me the day before (Sunday). It was exhausting, but exhilarating at the same time.
I also felt motivated to actually be minimally productive during the rest of the day when I wasn't resting. The energy level still hadn't returned and the massive fatigue still came in waves knocking me down. But, even with that, I still felt “energized.” Attitude! It's all about attitude.
Day 66, Tuesday, today, was a very good day. The massive fatigue still persists along with the lack of energy. However, I felt more motivated today. Again, I experienced some productivity. This is important to someone like me, a serial entrepreneur and a nomadic traveler by nature.
However, about halfway through the day, after doing a few things and resting, but eating more and drinking more, I came to a realization. My problem with swallowing food and liquids was lessening. I don't mean I was back to normal, but as long as I was careful and observant of the size of my bites of food and being sure to chew them well before swallowing, they were going down without being stopped in the esophagus and the accompanying discomfort and, sometimes, pain. The same was true of swallowing liquids. I could do more than just take tiny sips.
This is such a marked improvement over what I've been experiencing for the past couple of weeks. If I would have had the energy, I would have jumped for joy. Again, I consumed at least as much as I did yesterday, possibly more.
So, what this is telling me is that I made a good decision to make that shopping list. And, thanks to Carolyn, I'm now stocked up for at least the next couple weeks. I'm sure there could be some setbacks, however, I'm feeling pretty certain that I am turning a corner in this recovery process, perhaps a bit faster than I expected. I'm expecting another good day tomorrow, may be better than today. My stomach feels comfortably full. Of course, it has shrunk over the past two months or so, but I'm able to eat and drink and enjoy it more than any time in the past several weeks.
So, onward and upward. That's all for today. Live free and be happy. EH