Weekend Wrap-up – October 3, 2015

Happy rainy Saturday if you're anywhere in the east. To my friends and readers in the west and southwest, if I could pipe this rain out to you, I would. I know you need it worse than we do here in the east right now.

I trust your week was good and you had some bright spots in a week that left quite a number of people in grief. Of course, the grief I speak of is that which made the current sensationalism news headlines in Roseburg, Oregon. My heart goes out to all those families and friends who lost loved ones. One reality we have to keep in mind is that grief and such terrible events are not exclusive to those that make the national media. There are negative and even horrific things happening somewhere, both here in the U.S. and all around the world, everyday.

The Two Great Motivators - Pleasure and Pain

Perhaps you're familiar with this philosophy and psychological concept. If you've studied any Freud or, more recently, Tony Robbins, you'll have been introduced to this concept. Certainly other psychologists, motivational speakers and philosophers of the 20th Century used these two concepts as the base for basic human motivation. The reality is that this isn't a new discovery by modern psychologists or philosophers. In fact, Aristotle spoke of it in his book, Rhetoric, some time around 400 BC. And, if you want to go back to the Book of Genesis in the Bible generally accepted that the creation of all things by God began at 4000 BC, you'll see the pleasure-pain (also construed as reward-punishment) concept repeated in numerous scenarios.

If you are a follower of any number of motivational speakers and organizations that use motivation as a basis for advancing and becoming successful in any number of endeavors (music, art, athletics, business including multi-level and network marketing, other career paths, education and so on), you have probably been led to believe there are a slew of motivators. Let me name just a few of these so-called motivators: money, happiness, success, freedom, awards, promotions, homes, cars, expensive bling and toys and the list goes on. Some of the negative motivations or demotivating ideas include: failure, loss, divorce, being fired, being passed over for promotion, lack of money, lack of the home you believe you should have, the same with vehicles and other stuff.

Here is the reality. Everything I just listed and anything else you want to add to these lists ALL revert directly back to the two Great Motivators, gaining pleasure and avoiding pain. Success equates with reward and gaining pleasure. Gaining all the money you want (unfortunately, that never seems to be enough for the majority of people) reverts back to what the money can be used for to gain pleasure. There is no intrinsic pleasure in money itself. It's only what money can do for someone that matters. This applies to every other superficial motivator. The negative motivators are the things that cause pain (emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual and economic). The negative motivators are what motivate us to do things we may not like to do, maybe even despise those things, but if they will prevent failure, loss of family, bankruptcy and so on, one will do whatever it takes.

It is generally accepted by most legitimate psychologists and behavioral scientists that the stronger of the two Great Motivators is the avoidance of pain. Take only one simple example, working hard at a job or jobs that one dislikes, despises or hates for 40, 50 and even 60 years. Why would a person work all that time at something they hate? To avoid the pain of not providing for their family, putting food on the table, putting a roof over their head (regardless of how conservative that shelter may be) and failing in life as measured by the standards established by society. This society goes by many names including the Jones's (as in "keeping up with the Jones's") and "They" (as in what will "They" or "everyone else" think of me or, as I term them, "The Committee of They").

To Gain Pleasure

Once again, I'm not preaching Judeo-Christian doctrine or ethics, but simply illustrating the basic principles that were pretty plainly laid out by these early books. You can go to any number of other ancient philosophies and find the same thing. But, why did God create the Garden of Eden and put Adam and Eve there when he "created" them? Because this life we have was meant to enjoy pleasure. Adam and Eve were given everything they needed to be free and happy and enjoy an abundant life. The miracle that is this planet has always had the capability of providing people and the animals on the planet with a fulfilling and abundant life. But, when that "snake in the grass," Satan, tempted humans to want more than the abundance, freedom and happiness they were endowed with, everything changed.

Instead of relating this to religion, simply look at it from this perspective. Humans are greedy and easily corruptible. I dare say there has been no human who has walked on this Earth (other than, supposedly, Jesus, The Son of God - relating back to religious convictions, again) who has not expressed and displayed greed and can be easily corrupted (tempted). Depending on our origins in geopolitical terms, societal and familial standards and ethics, some are more greedy and corruptible than others. Read this carefully, please. People who are born into poverty, slums and a low class of living are not anymore corruptible or greedy than those born into great wealth and an opulent lifestyle. I would even go as far as to say that those who have more are far greedier and more corrupt than those on the lower end of the scale.

Those in the Middle Class may be the worst of all. They consider themselves above the lower class people and have no problem stepping on them and exploiting them in their efforts to realize the pleasure of living like the wealthy, opulent class. Of course, I'm making broad generalizations with this description. However, most of us don't have a conscious clue as to what is actually motivating us - other than more is better and will make us happier. Unfortunately, that's not true. More can make most people more comfortable, but not necessarily happier. And worse, yet, at what price?

Gaining pleasure is certainly what life is all about in my estimation. But, it's how you define pleasure that really makes the difference. Going back to Biblical references, virtually all religions, in some manner, describe a heavenly afterlife of some kind. It might be called Heaven or Paradise. In Asian religious philosophies this relates to a state of Nirvana. One reaches Nirvana when the spirit is free from the material, lust and avarice of the greedy, corrupt being. However, achieving these idealistic states is only possible with work, learning, change and practice. I also believe that Nirvana doesn't have to follow some Eastern philosophy, but that we can each define our own Nirvana and strive to reach that state.

We've often heard and likely said ourselves, "the best things in life are free." And this goes back to the Garden of Eden. Essentially, Adam and Eve had it all. They could want for nothing in the Garden. But, God put one temptation there and instructed them not to go down that path or they would pay a severe penalty. We know the rest of the story. It only took one serpent (Satan, Evil, The Dark Side of the Force, whatever you want to call it) to lure them down the path. Eve was the first to partake, but Adam went along with it. Personally, I don't think it matters if it were Adam or Eve, human nature is what it is and the results would have been the same either way. They sought more pleasure by following the snake's lead and they suffered much pain as a result.

My personal belief is that we deserve all the pleasure we can derive from this limited life on the planet. The very concept of working for 40 or more years doing things someone hates or even dislikes is abhorrent to me. I look at my own life and, now, realize how much of my time I spent working at avoiding pain and putting off pleasure. Don't get me wrong; I've experienced much pleasure in my lifetime. I am not bitter or angry about anything. I just realized that with some adjustments in my personal conditioning and orientation, I could have spent a lot more or maybe even most of my lifetime realizing pleasure. However, our parental, religious, educational, occupational and moral education and conditioning is really about avoiding the pain factor.

Avoiding Pain

Do not misconstrue my meaning. I'm not saying that we should not work or have purpose in our lives. I'm not suggesting that we be irresponsible regarding choices and obligations we assume. I'm also not passing judgment on anything that anyone has or wants. I'm simply saying that gaining the greatest pleasure in life may have nothing to do with the amount of money we accumulate, the size of the house or houses we own or occupy, how new or expensive our vehicles are, how much stuff and bling we have in the form of toys, jewelry, furnishings, designer clothes, RVs, yachts, private aircraft, etc., etc. It's even entirely possible that all of this accumulation may actually result in pain or cause pain for others in any number of situations.

Working at jobs that we have to take and dislike or hate in order to pay for indulgences is really not gaining pleasure. It's actually avoiding pain. The pain comes when you don't have those things and feel emotional or psychological pain because you're not keeping up with the Jones's or meeting your parents, sibling's, spouses or offspring's expectations. We start our life off with all kinds of dreams and once we become adults and responsible for our own lives, the dreams get shelved and life becomes a rut, a drudge and sometimes a nightmare. How many people do you know (maybe you're one of them) who keeps putting off living the life they want, their dreams (pleasure) for when they retire? But, a lot can happen over all those decades including death, becoming physically disabled, emotionally and psychologically maimed by death of a spouse, a bad divorce, your offspring making poor choices and ending up incarcerated or imprisoned by aging parents who refuse to make age appropriate decisions for their stage of life and straddle you with the responsibility (and, often, guilt) of giving up your life and taking care of them. It's not that we don't care or respect them. It's simply that in today's society, at least in this and other developed countries, there are better ways for older people to have a very fulfilling life (a better life than sitting around a house doing nothing and having no one their own age to relate to) right up until the end with other people they can relate to in their own age bracket.

Life is very complex and for most people, though they've learned to cope, painful. Most of life, for most people seems to be about avoiding pain and making choices, often-poor choices, to do something, not to avoid or alleviate the pain, but to act as a painkiller. For some people it's gambling and playing the state lotteries. For other people it's alcohol, prescription drugs or recreational drugs (often used with the excuse of it being for medicinal purposes). For others it's buying "stuff." Women will buy shoes and purses and all kinds of clothes, not because they don't have any shoes, purses or clothes to wear or use, but because it's a diversion from feeling the pain - pain avoidance, in other words. Men will buy new cars and trucks, ATV's, boats, fishing gear, etc. The current vehicles may be fine, fully operational and low mileage, but there is a big sale at the dealership and they feel they need it, despite the fact that their payments will increase and stretch out another six years. They don't need the ATV or motorcycle or boat. They want it because for a short period of time it distracts (avoids) the pain in their lives. Yet, they don't use the toys enough to justify the pain the payments, interest, insurance, storage and upkeep costs.

Here's an interesting example of how the greed factor plays into this picture of pain. A man (or a woman) plays football in high school, college and then gets drafted into the professional league (it is likely a different physical sport for a women). These people began experiencing the pain of this choice during their first practice, but it really became apparent during their first actual game against an opponent who's intention (as is yours) is to tear the other team's heads off. But, as a professional player you will realize a contract, potentially, worth tens of millions of dollars. So, in search of the pleasure, you assume the pain that is inevitable. It goes with the turf, so to speak. You play the game for ten years and earn millions of dollars, often making way too many bad choices in using those millions. Your body is banged, bruised, lacerated and broken over and over again, but the greed to gain all that money that will supposedly bring pleasure drives you forward.

One day you realize that you just can't face taking another hit or the coach makes that determination for you. You retire or are retired (fired, in other words). But, now your body is pretty well worn out and broken up. Within a few years terrible arthritis and other debilitating physical ailments set in. You continue living everyday in pain that grows worse. One day in your 40's or 50's (a relatively young age in today's terms) you start realizing that you can't remember things or you can't do some simple thought processes that once were easy for you. Now, you realize that you have serious, irreversible brain damage. You traded a life of pain for all that money that's now being expended on medical treatments, medication and other necessities related to your situation. So, what's the answer? Start seeking sympathy from your "adoring" public about your terrible physical situation and passing the blame to the game and the league that paid you tens of millions of dollars for enduring the beating that you took. No one put a gun to your head to accept the pro football (or whatever sport it might be) job. You did it for all that gold you were going to be paid. You knew what to expect. You'd already played the game for six or seven years before the pros. But, now we should all feel sorry for you. And worse yet, you're going to hold the teams, league and the spectators/fans to blame and expect to extract more money from them because of your choice.

Pain vs. Pleasure

You could have followed another dream or maybe your real dream instead of selling your body and soul for the gold. Maybe you wouldn't have been paid millions on top of millions of dollars, but you might have loved everyday of your life doing something that still served a purpose and other people, while fulfilling your own dreams and life.

I certainly could have made any number of other choices in my life that not only would have avoided the pain, but actually gained me the real pleasures I was truly seeking. Indeed! I will not, hypocritically, blame my father, mother, sisters, teachers, college professors, friends, my Uncle Sam, clients, banks, my former wife or anyone else for my choices. I made them entirely on my own. And by the same token, I cannot and will not pass judgment on any decisions and choices you or anyone else made or makes. That's way above my pay grade. I simply want to suggest that everyone, myself included, needs to REALLY understand that there are only TWO GREAT MOTIVATORS that control every single choice we make from the time we're old enough to choose to spit out those strained peas we don't like as an infant until we are ready to head to Heaven, Paradise or whatever awaits us when we die. If we're smart, we'll choose to seek our own Nirvana while we're still alive on this Earth.  We'll focus on the choices that will take us toward the paths to the pleasure we seek and not be diverted down the paths that get us into the wrong relationships, debt, jobs we hate, but have to have in order to pay for the other bad choices we've made. Life is as complicated as we each want to make it for ourselves. But, it can also be as simple and easy and pleasurable as we want to make if for ourselves. What is your main motivator?  

To Be Yourself ...

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This Emerson quote immediately brought to mind the words of the great bard, Willie Shakespeare, from Hamlet, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

Emerson's words appeared this morning on another blog that I found through a link from a friend's blog. It resonated with me as soon as I read it. Doesn't this say something about personal freedom and conformity? In my opinion it does...absolutely.

It immediately brought to mind several things like the typical definition of the American Dream, my Costco run the other day, an annoying new commercial on TV about two large clothing chain stores targeted at women and about marketing and the history of marketing. According to the American Marketing Association, "Marketing is the activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large."

As these thoughts were going through my mind, I realized that I have, personally, spent some 50 years involved in marketing. Basically, I have spent my adult life "...constantly trying to make you something else..."

To Be Yourself vs. Conforming To Being Made Something Else

Marketing has been around a long time; I dare say, all the way back to the earliest and most primitive societies. There are all kinds of marketing processes. The most basic and direct concept is simply described by the word "marketing." It conforms to the AMA's definition. However, there is also lobbying, spin, hype, image building, public relations, promotion and propaganda. Marketing can take a variety forms in various situations. However, no matter what you call it, the intent is the same. Someone or some group desires to get people to buy into someone else's, some business's, some organization's, some religion's or some government's plan for you to conform to the specific entities ideas, ideology, theology, products or services.

Humans, for the most part, want to be part of the tribe or pack. The objective of marketing in any of its forms and by any of its names is to get you to become part of that tribe or pack. It could be a political party. It could be a specific religious doctrine and dogma. It could be a tortilla chip, popular beer brand and Sunday afternoon football. It could be the driver of a particular brand car or pick-up truck. It could be a loyal devotee of an Apple computer, iPhone, iPod or iPad. The idea is to get you to buy into whatever it is and conform like so many other members of the tribe or pack. And, of course, marketing also works hard at keeping you loyal to the brands, items, philosophies, doctrine, platforms and so on.

Okay! So, let me say it and get it off my chest! At it's most effective; marketing is a form of mind control. It's convincing you and persuading you to join this or that tribe or pack of similarly convinced people. What it does at its worst is take away more and more of your unique individuality and personal freedom. It's tough "to be yourself" when it appears to be cooler to be like the rest of the minions. All my friends and co-workers are getting mini-vans or SUV's, so to be "cool" and "in," I need one, too.

 "To Be Yourself . . . Is The Greatest Accomplishment"

Let me make this perfectly clear. It is not bad to conform. It is not negative to want to drink the same beer as millions of other people as you all watch the same Sunday football game on your (name the brand) 72," flat screen, 3D, LED television with full a surround sound theater audio system. It's okay to buy the popular car or SUV (it doesn't matter that they all basically look the same). It's okay to advertise your favorite clothing designer's jeans and use your ass to give him or her free advertising so other members of the tribe will want to have their own pair, too. It's okay to vote for a specific candidate because you admire the schools he or she attended, the cut of his or her clothes, the color of the skin, the religious beliefs or secular beliefs or the platform he or she stands on and for.

Here is the real truth - WE ALL DO IT! Marketing is so pervasive in our society, it's almost catching up with the government's surveillance of our private and business lives. (That's a not so funny joke.) It's what makes our world operate. It doesn't matter if we live in a "so-called" democratic republic, a socialist, a communist or a fascist society. It doesn't matter if we have elected government leaders, a monarch, a dictator, an emperor or a cruel tyrant. There is always some form of marketing going on around us. There are very few ways to escape it.

As an example, I recently did a post about "THE HAT." Did I come up with the idea that I needed that hat for myself? Did I actually design and create the hat? Nope and nope! George Lucas and Steven Spielberg sold me on the hat through the character of Indiana Jones along with Australian producer/director/actor Paul Hogan's Crocodile Dundee character. They were, of course, influenced by earlier movies and comic books. But, just as the cowboy has always had a thing about his cowboy hat, so did Indiana Jones and Crocodile Dundee about their hats. They sold me on that style fedora. Thus, when Scottevest, the manufacturer of practical, purpose designed, travel attire offered THE HAT as one of their items. The marketing was already done and I simply acquired THE HAT.

Now, accepting the fact that no matter who we are, marketing, hype, PR, image, spin, lobbying, promotion and propaganda influence us. How can we still be ourselves? I dare say the answer to that is simply - that really is "...the greatest accomplishment." Back to the bard, "To thine own self be true." Do you know who you really are? Just because you live in a community where everyone belongs to the country club, does that mean you must conform and join? In another commercial, a new couple moves into a new home. Some neighbors visit them and offer them a puppy and encourage them to sign up with the local cable company for their cable TV, Internet and phone service. The new couple politely rejects the offer because they are happy with the economical VOIP phone service they already have. The neighbors reject them and indicate, "We ALL bundle." I guess my first thought would be, if I were the new couple, is this the right community for us?

I wear THE HAT because it suits me and serves me well for my chosen lifestyle. I've had a few readers contact me about where I got the hat, so maybe, one day we'll all meet and have The Living Free HAT convention. But, I can tell you that, so far, in close to a month or so, I have not seen anyone else wearing a hat like THE HAT. I'm sure I will see someone once in a while. But, this hat represents part of who I am. It represents being true to myself. I honestly don't wear it to attract attention, though sometimes it does. I wear it because it is functional and durable and works for my chosen lifestyle. Yes! I was marketed to. But, I am choosing to be true to who I am and how I want to live my life. Otherwise, I'd be either running around the area I'm in right now wearing a camouflage or John Deere baseball cap like the local tribe. Actually, I usually wear my Rt. 66, South Dakota or Stax Records baseball caps that no one else in this area has when I'm not wearing THE HAT.

The great accomplishment is figuring out who you really are so you can be true to yourself. Are you driving the vehicle that is really true to who you are and what you want? Are you living in the kind of community and home/dwelling/apartment/McMansion because it's where you really fit in or because it's where your wife/husband/children/parents/co-workers and so on feel you deserve to live and belong? How do they know? Are they you? If you wanted to live in a dirt floor cabin without running water or electricity, 25 miles from the nearest stores or conveniences would "they" honor that or dissuade and, possibly, ridicule you? Knowing who you are, what you truly want and being willing and able to stick to your guns and be your true self really is a great accomplishment.

I once new a fellow in his mid-30's, who was a lawyer on Long Island (New York). He came from an average Jewish family who worked hard and put him through Cornell University and Law School. He was a typical "my son, the lawyer" young man. He was married to a very nice Jewish woman and they lived in a nice, middle class Long Island community. They had friends and family near and lived a lifestyle representative to his station in life and his profession. On the outside, it all looked ideal. Except for one major thing. This young lawyer was living a lie. He never really wanted to be a lawyer and he really disliked practicing law. He became a lawyer for the same reason I earned a teaching degree, it was what his/my parents wanted. They felt that they were doing him a favor by giving him an education in something they believed was right for him. The same was true for me. But, in reality, his parents didn't consider taking into account what he may have wanted. I was a bit luckier. My parents, especially my father, gave me a lot more leeway. And, while it was unfortunate and tragic that my father died before I completed my senior year in college, that circumstance also allowed me to make more decisions about my own future. As you know if you've read my About page, I've always been an entrepreneur. That's quite different than being a school teacher.

Back to the young lawyer and his plight. One day, he found an opportunity to buy a diner. It would more properly qualify as a "greasy spoon," I'm told. He bought it, gave up his law practice and became the short order cook in his little diner. He loved what he was doing. He loved the work. He loved the customers. He loved the few people who worked for him. He was passionate about it. Now, he may have shortened his parent's lives with his decision. I'm sure his wife was not thrilled by this decision, after all, what self-respecting young woman from a refined Jewish heritage wants to be the wife of a short order cook in a greasy spoon. But, he was finally able to be true to himself.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” 

So, this is my thinking for today. You can only be free if you can truly be yourself. While the process (both an art and science) of marketing has been around, pretty much, for all of mankind's history, due to the constant barrage of marketing hype, messages, propaganda, lobbying and so on in our 21st Century world, it's virtually impossible to not be influenced. I dare say, it's much harder in this first quarter of the 21st Century than it was in the mid-20th Century when I grew up and became conditioned to our society, to truly identify who we REALLY are and then be true to that.

It's not about living like others or me who may consider ourselves minimalists or nomads or downsizers or simple lifers. It's about really turning yourself inside out and discovering your real values, truths, desires and passions. Then, it's about making whatever changes are absolutely necessary to live the life of the true you. We hear about (and possibly know and maybe even have first hand experience) all kinds of addictive behavior with alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, eating, etc. But, caving in to the marketing of today's society, i.e., buying stuff and living in homes that don't represent our real selves and all the other things we do and buy because of the various forms of marketing influence we're bombarded with constantly, does not make us happy or fulfilled. It simply makes us like everyone else. Perhaps, we have identified a new addiction we can call the "keeping up with the Jones' addiction." Hmm, would that be Indiana Jones in my case?

Living Free in an Unfree World – In the Name of Religion

Freedom is as natural as birth and death – and, yet, while there is much rhetoric about freedom, it’s so elusive and undefined. In the name of religion, the vast population of the world is truly unfree.

I will not single out any specific religion. I’m simply making a point that those who embrace religion and accept the tenets, doctrine, dogma, ideology and policies almost blindly with no tangible evidence of the benefits, rewards, claims or promises of accepting them voluntarily give up parts of their natural right of freedom. Of course, everyone supposedly freely makes the choice of embracing or not embracing some form of organized religion. 

No! I’m not down on or condemning any religion or the individuals who choose to embrace a religion . . . except when it leads to denying individuals of their “God” given rights or results in violence against anyone else within or outside of a religion. I used the term “God” given precisely because it’s easy. No matter how one defines the miracle of life, whether through belief in some omnipresent deity, super universal intelligence or just as a natural course of events that has occurred randomly, using the term or label, “God,” makes it easier to describe.

Actually, being brought up in a Christian (Baptist, to be more specific) belief system, it’s easy for me to use the word “God” in such context. I admit to being a spiritual being and believe in some kind of universal intelligence or order, though I don’t find it as easy in my current place in life to personify my belief.

In The Name Of Religion

Citizens of the United States of America, of which I am one, bandy around the words freedom and liberty as though they know what they actually mean. Yet, while America may be one of the freest societies on the planet, we are so far from the basic, natural, human freedom that is a birthright. I truly believe that most Americans, even less today then when I was a youngster 50 and 60 years ago, crossover the words freedom, liberty and democracy (among others) so as to not truly be able to define what the words actually mean and represent on a personal level.

So, here is the really big point. What one doesn’t truly define, understand and appreciate can and will be used against you. It’s like the Miranda Rights, “Anything you say can and will be used against you.” In the name of God, or on a broader scale, in the name of religion, masses of people on this planet accept the definition of freedom and liberty as that preached primarily by the doctrines, tenets, dogma, ideology and policies of the 22 recognized world religions or religious thought groups plus scads of tiny fringe religious groups, many termed cults.

I haven’t studied all the religious thought in the world. Religious scholars spend their entire lives in such study and still never know all there is to know. However, I don’t think I’d be far from wrong in suggesting that every one of the 22 recognized religious philosophies, doctrines and ideologies has somewhere in it numerous descriptions of freedom and liberty. For example, the oft used “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32 from the King James Version of the Christian New Testament. This “truth” is defined by that same text, so in order to know the truth, you must accept that text as truth. The only freedom implied in this is that you may choose to accept truth and freedom as defined by the text . . . or not.

Most early societies’ laws were based on religious law. The religious laws identified certain acts as sin that was attributed to Satan. These sins related back to some point in time when some form of original sin took place. In the Jewish, Christian and Islamic religions this would be the original sin of Adam and Eve with the fruit of the tree of knowledge coerced by the serpent (Satan) in the Garden of Eden. From this came a series of laws, commandments or moral codes – the Ten Commandments of the Old Testament Bible or the Torah. These were then carried into the Christian New Testament Bible and into the Qur’an, the main text of the Muslim religion. Many forms of government still have, as part of their foundation, some semblance or a direct relationship to the original religious laws. Saudi Arabia, has for example, as its constitution, the direct text of the Qur’an.

What I’ve just related is, of course, a very simplified discussion of how the vast majority of the world’s population is directly or indirectly controlled by the tenets, doctrines, dogma, ideology and policies of the major religions of the world. In many societies, much or most of the social, educational and governmental aspects of daily life revolve around the accepted religion of that society. Children become indoctrinated from birth and are expected to continue following the life so ordained for them by the religion until they die.

Parallel Universes

The study of all religions is extremely interesting and there appear to be many parallels. Most major religions are still based on doctrine and dogma that dates back more then 2,000 years, even the religion of Islam since much of it dates back to early Christianity and Judaism. The challenge, from my perspective, is that the world has changed exponentially since the early beginnings of these religions. The most strict religions preach that the religions, doctrines, dogmas, ideologies, tenets and commandments are all the divine word of God as passed on to humanity through angels and prophets. Therefore, followers are expected to accept and live by these, often, antiquated codes and laws, which I, for one, do not find completely practical in the 21^st Century.

And this is where, in the name of religion, believers are expected to accept, on faith, unquestioningly, the “Word of God” as revealed by their recognized religious text and the religious leaders. Personal freedom is not actually defined by an individual rather, it is defined by the religious text and its tenets and is administered and adjudicated, at some level, by the religious leadership.

Intolerant Ideologues

So, we have people in the world like the Reverend Terry Jones, a man with little formal theological education, is not ordained and who, for whatever reason, believes he knows the “Truth.” Apparently, his version of truth is to condemn others, especially those of the Islamic faith. Thus, he denies their right to believe in their religion in their own manner by burning their holy book and making an international media spectacle out of it. Of course, he has to know that he is going to fuel anger, resentment and violence by his actions and accordingly endanger millions, perhaps, billions of other people, most of who do not agree with his preaching or actions. However, in the name of religion, he is exercising his freedom of speech. I honestly don’t see his actions as being all that different then shouting “Fire” in a crowded theater or similar venue.

With the same supposed exercising of his freedom of speech, another convicted felon in California, an individual of, apparently, low moral bearing in the society he has chosen to live, creates a film, in the name of religion, Coptic Christianity, that does the same thing. It is not without question that I believe he was and is fully aware that his actions were nothing less then poking a stick at a rattlesnake poised to strike. So, now this coward is in hiding because he knows if he shows his face in public, the rattlesnake that has already caused much property damage, loss of some life, many injuries and millions of dollars in property damage will strike at him and snuff out his life. In this case, his freedom of speech has massively infringed upon the rights of thousands and, potentially, millions of people around the world. It’s hard for me to believe that he wasn’t aware of the ultimate results of his actions. Thus, he knowingly, in the name of religion, trampled the rights of others and endangered them.

And, in the same name of religion (a different religion) we have a population of people, certainly not all people of that religion, but a significant representation, who have given up their freedom. They are directed by, in my opinion, misguided religious leaders and thugs, using religion as their excuse for their thuggery (my own coined word). They feel it is their right and their responsibility to deny the freedoms and rights of the billions of people around the world who don’t believe as they do and have not summarily given up their freedom to think for themselves. Tolerance, dealing with stupidity, despicable intolerance and discrimination is not part of their language. Thus, again, in the name of religion, they blame and take out their own stupidity, intolerance and discriminatory actions on millions and billions of innocent people.

Where Will It End?

Where will it end? Wars have been waged over and over throughout the history of the world for precisely the thinking and actions I just described. As each successive war has been fought and because technology continues to advance, the wars have been bloodier and crueler and the big losers are always the innocents caught in the crossfire. So, in today’s world we have the destructive power to create the ultimate apocalypse. You can describe it in the name of religion as prophets have predicted in religious texts. Or, you can describe is as the ultimate destruction of Earth and most life forms at the hands of humankind. No one wants to ultimately be the one to start the actual end of the world scenario. Yet, I dare say, in the name of religion that there will ultimately be one person who, at some time, will believe “his” version of truth and being set free to live in heaven (a place of unproven existence) is “just cause. He will “push the button” and start a chain of events that will destroy the planet and its ability to sustain life or least sustain life as we know it.

Certainly, that’s not a prediction I have the ability to make and I don’t suggest it is something we will experience in the foreseeable future. However, so many of the predictions of long gone, science fiction writers have come to pass just during our lifetimes. All religions seem to have a parallel tenet of peace, love and tolerance. But, it is mainly based on all others accepting “truth” as defined by each religion and forsaking their own religion and personal freedom and accepting whatever the “laws” are as defined by that religion. I condemn no one nor do I judge anyone for his or her choices. The choice to accept, by faith and for whatever other reasons, the tenets and doctrine of any religion is your free choice. But, in the name of religion, you do not have the right to condemn, discriminate or in any way infringe on the rights and freedoms of anyone else, including me. My beliefs and choices regarding my life, including my definition of spirituality is mine and mine alone. I won’t impose it on you and I expect the same mutual human respect from you.

Let’s just hope, in the name of religion and God, that we don’t see the actions and reactions in the Middle East escalate any further, resulting in massive loss of life, injury and property. You are free to choose any religion you want to and accept any tenets and doctrine that religion preaches including giving up your right to personal freedom. You are not free to impose your choices on anyone else and especially . . . me.

Step #11 Spirituality

This step is bringing us into the final stretch on our journey to living free. Spirituality, as I perceive it, is a very personal thing. I was raised in a Baptist Church aligned with the American Baptist Convention and in my early thirties, transferred to another Baptist Church aligned with the Southern Baptist Convention. Through the years I have come to define religion and spirituality as different things. Of course, while religious beliefs encompass certain aspects of spirituality, religions are typically an organized system of doctrines and beliefs embraced by a group (of any size) of like-minded followers. Spirituality, on the other hand, doesn’t require you conform to a specific doctrine or belief system that necessarily involves any kind of organization or group of like-minded individuals. Spirituality can be as individual as each person is and that’s what makes it personal.

Now, before you, who may embrace any specific religion, whether one of the many Christian Protestants denominations, any of the several Catholic divisions of Christianity, Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Hindus, Wickens or other organized religions of the world, decide to challenge me, please don’t! Living free isn’t about religion, though you may, and you certainly have the natural, human right to, embrace your chosen religious beliefs as part of your personal spirituality and definition of freedom. It is my firm belief that every human embraces some kind of spirituality, though it may not be consciously displayed or even acknowledged. I don’t include such belief systems as Buddhism, Scientology and numerous other philosophical thought groups as religions, though they have been characterized and even legally recognized by various governments as religious organizations. In my way of thinking, these belief systems are more realistically philosophical approaches to spirituality, each with its basis in some original founding leader’s philosophy, while not necessarily aligned with any form of deity of god-like spiritual embodiment. Those who read this and practice any of these other belief systems are certainly within their rights to believe they are religions if you so choose to define them as such for yourself.

The reason I believe that spirituality is a natural step in the progression of living free is because it is virtually impossible in our civilized (and surely in less developed) societies to deny some kind of connectedness between other humans such as family and friends. Additionally, there is a connection and dependence on lower animals through the domestication of pets and work animals. We also rely on many animals as a food source. Many cultures worship various animals. Additionally, there is a connection between humans and the Earth in the form of the flora that we enjoy in its natural state, cultivate as a food source and also find creative outlet in the personal beauty and pleasure derived from gardening and landscaping. Finally, there is a connection with the universe. We, as humans have always been fascinated with the stars and what’s “out there.” Are we the only living beings who think and reason in the entire universe? We now know the universe is ever expanding since the “Big Bang,” the theory believed by the scientific community to have occurred some five billion years ago and commonly accepted as the author of the universe.

Of course, there is also a certain internal spirituality. As humans, we are the most remarkable living things on the Earth. We are split between two basic schools of thought on how humans came to inhabit the Earth. First are those people with religious beliefs defining the creation of human existence as the work of a divine being/intelligence. The second are those who believe that somehow all the right circumstances came together at a precise moment in time to become the spark of life that evolved over millions of years into homo erectus and ultimately homo sapiens and here we are. Of course, science has proven that there were other forms of human like beings that evolved, but didn’t survive. We know, scientifically that is true of other animal forms as well.

There is also a third less widely held belief that may provide a bridge between the other two explanations of human development. This embraces the idea that there is human life in other parts of the universe and some visitors from another world, far more advanced then we are, even today, came here and left behind early humans to inhabit and colonize the Earth. This is certainly a stretch, but is it any more or less believable then a deity molding the world in six days from the raw materials of the universe and creating humans in its own image or that a “Big Bang” occurred billions of years ago and created the universe and set up the conditions over billions of years for life to germinate and evolve on this rock floating in space?  

So, how does spirituality become a step to embrace for living free? I see this as a very simple concept. Whether you like it or not, you are part of this planet and the universe. Sure, you’re one of over seven billion other human beings (as of October 31^st, 2011) co-existing on this piece of space rock we call Earth, our home. There is so much about yourself and nature that you have questions about. No, you probably don’t dwell on them. Frankly, most of nature and everything about the nature of your existence is way beyond both your ability to comprehend and your pay grade that you have to find some way to narrow your focus to a much more intimate life that you may be able to have a modicum of control over. All the rest of it is what I define as spirituality.

If you have chosen to accept and practice some form of organized religion, you are given certain doctrine and belief systems to use in living a meaningful life. One of the concepts in most Jewish, Christian and Muslim religious doctrine is that you must accept on faith what you cannot humanly see or comprehend. You must choose to believe that what you are taught, by the theology of the various religions, is true and has been communicated to humans through those chosen as prophets and religious leaders, by God. This is, of course, a simplification of the entire idea of a living God. This is certainly a way to deal with the immensity of the question – what is the meaning of life? And, if this works for you, then carry on and practice your religious beliefs as deeply and seriously as you feel comfortable in doing.

Perhaps organized religion is not the answer for you, whether you have experienced some degree of religious education and experience or not. This doesn’t necessarily define you as an atheist or a non-believer in some kind of divine or superior intelligence with a plan for the universe. It simply says that you don’t find personal comfort, solace, intellectual or spiritual fulfillment in the organized religions that you have any experience with or knowledge of. This may be a point where you might look into such eastern philosophies as Buddhism. Since Buddhism appears to be more of a philosophy then an organized religious institution, there is no way of knowing how many practicing or even fringe Buddhists there are in the world. A low estimate is in the range of 350 to 500 million people, which, while not as large as the body of Christian or Islamic believers, is certainly not a trifle, either.

Personally, I still characterize myself as a Christian because my moral and ethical world-view was largely formed through my religious learning as a child and teenager. While there are those who would consider me a non-practicing Christian, I still embrace and live by much of that early learning. Through my six plus decades of living experience my personal world-view has expanded and changed in many ways, thus, I view my life, my spirituality and the world differently then I did as a child and teenager. You may be in a similar place and that’s as it should be.

Other interesting aspects of spirituality include meditation and prayer. Both of these are practiced by billions of people on this planet and it is a very personal experience for each person. While most commonly identified with organized religions, prayer has been studied and researched on a secular level as well. In studies conducted by Harvard, Duke and other universities from a secular perspective and often involving health and medical matters, including life and death issues, there have been conclusive, published findings that people who have been the target of prayer in specific, controlled, test groups have recovered and or survived at a much higher rate compared to those who were not the focus of prayers from around the world. The medical professionals have not been able to explain this scientifically. And, to make the matter more interesting, the prayers emanated from diverse groups of people practicing (or in some cases not practicing) different forms of religion. I am not suggesting that you believe me or accept this as fact in your own belief system. I’m simply reporting substantiated facts that have been published by scholarly sources. Even the American Medical Association has made some concessions in their consideration of prayer, this from a group that is typically very scientifically biased.

So, we are all connected. As you read these 12 Steps for Living Free, you are connected with me in some manner. It doesn’t matter whether you live in the U.S., Russia, Japan, China, Brazil, Morocco, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, the U.K. or any of the other dozens of countries where the analytics indicate that readers of this 12 Step program are located. There is something that connects us. My choice of the two words “living” and “free” as a phrase is most likely the spiritual bond between us. As humans, no matter what country or culture or society we reside in, by nature (there’s that word again) we want to “live free.” And, to reiterate what I stated at the outset of this treatise, I do not mean living free as without cost or paying for things we need and want. I mean living free of as many limitations, restrictions, laws, rules, regulations and other encumbrances.

As long as we live on this planet we have to live within the rules of nature. And as long as we live in any kind of organized group of other people whether it’s a family unit, a tribe, a village, a neighborhood or community, a city or town, a state or province or a country, there will be laws, rules, regulations, codes and so on that we much abide by. However, in choosing to live free you will seek out ways to free yourself from being limited or restricted as much as possible. There are many considerations you’ll have to make in order to implement this kind of living free lifestyle, as you define it, possible. And, of course, the other part of living free is to find joy and be happy, which are state-of-mind choices.

How you choose to experience and express your spirituality is, like everything else in these 12 Steps, entirely up to you. The reality is that your spirituality is a continually evolving process. What you believed as a child, a teenager, a young adult, a middle-age adult and a senior adult will, most likely, be different. Each phase of your spiritual growth will, of course, use everything you believed previously as the foundation and steps to the next phase. In the end, you may go full-circle and return to where you began. But, then again, you may end up with a completely different set of beliefs and philosophies. So far as I can figure, whatever path you choose to follow is the right one for you.

There will be those who will do their best to convince you that their way is the truth and the only way. They certainly have every right to believe that. But, they don’t have the right to condemn nor make you feel that your spiritual belief system is any less then theirs. Your spiritual belief system will bring you comfort and help you understand why you are on this Earth for the short time you’ll be here. Though each of us is a mere speck of space dust in the universe, each of us will, in some manner, leave behind an imprint of some kind, whether we believe it or not.