After rereading my last post on the Black Friday/Cyber Monday Feeding Frenzy, I decided a follow-up was in order.
First and foremost, as you recall, I said I was a capitalist and free enterpriser. That stands unequivocally. I also need to make sure that it’s clear that I have, during my lifetime, purchased and consumed and wasted massive amounts of stuff and money. I’m not particularly proud of this, but it’s a fact and the truth and I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t disclose that.
Second, my discourse on the feeding frenzy concept, while obviously judgmental of people who display – in some ways, behavior that may be a little aberrant, I can honestly state that I have never participated in this crazy shopping mania that has continuously been hyped to new heights year after year. I certainly do not have any negative feelings about anyone who chooses to buy gifts for their family members and close friends. At one time, I was there myself. The maturing (albeit, aging) process brings along with it certain degrees of wisdom. One of the facets of becoming “older and wiser” is that I and most of the folks approaching, in or beyond my age bracket don’t really have much in the way of “needs” and even our wants are typically things that we wouldn’t and don’t expect our family and friends to buy for us.
As I’ve looked back, while I can’t say, in honesty, that my buying and gift giving experience of the past was wise and prudent in probably a majority of cases, I just wasn’t wise and prudent back then, thus, I did what I did and accept it. Perhaps being better informed and more educated in the economy and the true value of giving “gifts” would have served me better. Unfortunately, this part of our life experience is, again, one of those handed down through the generations, so it simply perpetuates. Add to that continually more assertive, and dare I say, aggressive marketing strategies and techniques, based more on the science of selling “stuff” and utilizing more and more expanded media to emotionally and psychologically appeal to our senses. And, I can’t neglect adding a significant greed factor. “I gotta have this or that” often without an honestly definable need or even a want. It’s simply, I gotta have it because so and so has it so I have to have it, too or it’s on sale and at this price I can’t afford not to buy it (even though I really don’t need it) and other, similar lame reasons for buying “stuff.”
Once again, full-disclosure, I have purchased stuff that, ultimately I didn’t really “need,” but wanted and in other cases I bought something just because the deal was too good to pass up. I once bought a brand new laser printer because the deal was too good. It sat, brand new in the sealed carton for over two years before I finally forced myself to “justify” opening it and using it. It’s still hardly been used, years later. I can say the same thing about a photo quality inkjet printer I purchased over eight years ago and it still has the original ink cartridges in it. That shows how little I really needed a photo quality inkjet printer. Oh, and what little use it has had, was not mine, but that of a friend.
I’ve walked the walk, thus, I feel justified in talking the talk. We live in a world and a society of things and stuff. Some things and some stuff we need. Most, or least much, of it, we don’t need. But, we live in a capitalistic society. In order for our economy to prosper, we have to consume stuff. True! The real question is how much do we need to consume? A friend of mine’s 89 year-old mother and I were having a discussion not long ago and she said, “We spend the first 50 years of our life accumulating ‘stuff’ and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to get rid of it. Getting rid of it is more difficult.”
But, if we don’t consume massive amounts of ‘stuff,’ how will we keep people working and have enough jobs. My theory on that is simply, the economy will adjust itself to supply and demand. Perhaps, we’ll spend less money on the cubic volume or quantity of stuff we buy when we realize that we really don’t need a lot of things and probably don’t even want the stuff. On the other hand, we might be willing to pay more for higher quality and better-manufactured products. The same goes for the services that we purchase from others. Perhaps there will be less need to outsource the labor and manufacturing (and even some service industries like order taking, customer service and technical support), thus, allowing more people to work in this country. Also, since we’ll be purchasing less ‘stuff’ we might not require higher and higher incomes or to work as much as we currently do to have money to keep up with the Jones’s, thus, spreading work and income to more people working in jobs that currently exist.
It also goes without saying that as a society we continue to evolve. That means the brilliance, creativity and innovativeness of humans will create newer and better products and new technologies will continue to change our lives for the better while expanding opportunities. The entrepreneur, free enterpriser and capitalist will continue to improve the world, our lives and the economy.
However, let’s get back to the feeding frenzy. It’s not my position that anyone shouldn’t want to give gifts to their families and their friends. That is part of being human. We want to share. We want to show our appreciation for the relationships and the value we find in our family and friends. My position is, for those who have the intelligence and wisdom to realize they are being hyped continually by the buy, buy, spend, spend mentality that is so persuasive in our country if you live in the U.S., to stop being a lemming, stop following the Pied Piper. How about the quaint idea of, actually, creating gifts that are meaningful and from the heart. How about making cookies or special candies or giving someone a small, framed photo of the two (or more) of you doing something memorable together. These have become so much more meaningful to me, personally (though I don’t have a place for framed photos, but a CD with photos on them is great). Give someone a gift of some kind of service you can provide for them like a massage, cleaning their house, washing their car, mowing their lawn, cleaning out their garage, attic or basement or helping them plant a garden, to mention a few. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination and creativity.
Oh, but you don’t have the time because you’re working all the time. I understand. Some of the time you have to work is actually the time it takes to earn the money to spend buying the gifts that, all too often, really don’t fit the needs, wants, tastes or fancies of the recipient. If you didn’t have to earn the money to pay for those gifts, you’d probably have the time to create personal gifts.
Okay, let me wrap this up. If you want to live free you have to define what that means for you and your life. The more time you commit to working to earn money to buy and pay for stuff for you or to gift other people is less time you have to live free. Additionally, the more stuff you or those you gift have, the more space is required to accommodate it, thus, that requires more time for maintenance, cost for upkeep and investment in enough (and expanding space to house the stuff. Again, this takes away from your ability to live free.
Giving gifts is wonderful, but I’ve found that the most precious gift I have and I can help others have is freedom. It doesn’t matter on what path your journey of life takes. It doesn’t matter what detours and obstacles you encounter. It doesn’t matter how much ‘stuff’ you accumulate. It doesn’t matter how many work hours you put in or how hard your work is. It doesn’t matter how much financial and material wealth you accumulate. The final destination is exactly the same for every man and woman walking the face of the Earth. And when we each reach that destination, ultimately, nothing we have nor anything we’ve done goes with us . . . except our memories. At that instant in time, every one of us is absolutely equal. None of the 60 to 80 hour work weeks, missed vacations, time away from family and friends, stuff in the attic, basement, garage, outbuilding, the jewelry, cars, boats and so on – matter. Time is the most valuable commodity each of us has and our lives and freedom are the most precious gifts we’ve been given.
Enjoy this holiday season. Spend time and relax with your family and friends. They are precious gifts, too. Find, create, make or, in the appropriate ways, purchase gifts for those you love and care about. Help those less fortunate in some way if you are so moved. Thank veterans and active duty service men and women for the freedom you still have (or at least the choice to “live free” if you want to). Thank their families. I honestly believe this is the way we should live our lives 365 (366 next year) days a year and not just on some select days on the calendar that, for the most part, have become synonymous with various degrees of shopping feeding frenzies.
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