Photo-of-the-Week #124 Behold! The Mighty Chicago Style Hot Dog, Chicago, Illinois, October 2011

For some reason, there has been a discussion of food on the Vandweller Group over the past week or so. The original query posed was:

"What do you do for food? I mean, with the limited space I've seen in the refers and usually no freezer...wouldn't you have to constantly be running to a grocery store? Do you live off of canned food?"

As is typical, the basic answers began to flow and then the tangents began appearing. The fact that excavated Egyptian mummies showed plaque build up in their arteries turned into nutritional information. Then a tangent on eating in moderation, but enjoying some of the many less nutritional, but extremely tasty foods available, including some fast foods began. And, yes, yours truly jumped right in with both feet.

I'm not sure if it was me or someone else who introduced the mighty hot dog, certainly as much of Americana and the American Way as Apple Pie, Mom and the American Flag. But, that tangent went through not only a variety of hot dogs, but also the bratwurst, Italian sausage and I even added kielbasa. The bottom line is that few of us can pass up a really good "tube of death" as a dietitian friend of mine calls them. Well, "tube of death" or not, I love a (or two or even three) great hot dog. I grew up with them and I'm still around nearly 70 years later. So, I have no plans on giving up this majestic piece of Americana that's at home at baseball games, the boardwalks  the beach, parades, backyard barbecues, the streets of New York City and any place else fast, fun, tasty food is enjoyed.

So, behold the mighty Chicago style hot dog. The beauty you see pictured above is from Portillo's in downtown Chicago. This is a must go experience when you're in Chicago or the Chicago area (since they have branched out they have restaurants outside the city limits). But, walking to the downtown location is a treat. I believe it may be the original location after they moved indoors from the hot dog trailer, called The Dog House, and expanded to over 50 restaurants in several states around the U.S. their humble beginnings in 1963. It's still privately owned by Dick Portillo (now in his early 70's) and his family.

Now, there is, of course, competition in Chicago. There are other small, independent establishments serving the uniquely styled Chicago style hot dog. And some are reputed to be better. I can't vouch for that one way or the other. I'll simply say that it's a treat for me to go to Portillo's when I'm in Chicago. But, in the future, I will try some of the other establishments. Whether or not my palate can ascertain the difference and select one over another is not important. It's all about the experience... and I'm up for it.

In the future (the future beginning later this week) I'll be visiting and enjoying the hot dog specialties of as many places as I can around the U.S. This week I'll be in my hometown of Clifton, New Jersey where I'll stop in at my favorite hometown hot dog place, Rutt's Hut, for what is called a "Ripper." They were rated in the top ten hot dogs by Public Television. I'll also do my best to make my way over to Hiram's, another great hot dog place  in Fort Lee, New Jersey that I enjoyed during my college years. When I'm over in the Maryland area, Glen Burnie to be precise, I'll be stopping at Ann's Dari-Creme for the best double foot long, chili-cheese dog on a sub roll with mustard and onions and whatever else they can cram on it. I'm sorry I won't be able to share the aroma or the taste with you, but I'll grab some photos and, perhaps, you'll be motivated to try some of these places out yourself. It might take a day or two off your life, but, believe it, it will be worth it.   

Photo-of-the-Week #117 - The Crossroads, Breezewood, Pennsylvania, July 2013

I've titled this week's photo "The Crossroads." This is Breezewood, Pennsylvania a small town in south central Pennsylvania. It's very close to the Maryland border in an area that is called the Maryland Panhandle.

I've been through Breezewood many times over the past 30+ years. It's one of those places that seems timeless. It always appears to look the same. It is where I-70 an east-west, interstate route that begins at Baltimore, Maryland in the east and terminates (or begins depending at which end you start from) at Cove Fort, Utah. In the process, this 2,153 mile highway passes through ten states, is the oldest operating part of the interstate highway system, beginning in 1956 and also reaches the highest elevation of any of the Interstates at 11,158 feet.

Breezewood is the crossroad where I-70 veers north from Hancock, Maryland to merge into the Pennsylvania Turnpike. The turnpike considered to be the oldest, limited access, toll road in the U.S., beginning in the 1930's. I-70 remains concurrent with The Turnpike (also numbered as I-76 in the interstate highway system) from Breezewood to New Stanton, Pennsylvania where I-70 separates and continues west through the northern panhandle of West Virginia at Wheeling and into Ohio.

Frankly, I don't honestly know if there is actually a real town of Breezewood, though I'm sure there is, but this is all I've seen of Breezewood. As you can tell, it's a busy intersection with several 50's and 60's style motels, a couple local restaurants and a number of the national chain restaurants, truck stops and gas stations and some touristy gift shops full of memorabilia of the "passer-through's" visit to Breezewood. Basically, Breezewood isn't a destination, it's simply a reminder that you're on your way to somewhere, east, west or south. I was on my way back to eastern base camp in West Virginia from my visit (on business) to Boiling Springs, Pennsylvania.

I Pledge Allegiance . . .

to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands. One nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for ALL.

Penned in it's original form by Francis Bellamy in 1892, it wasn't formally adopted by Congress until 1942. I'm sure there are many people who don't know when it was originally written and when it was actually adopted by the federal government as the official pledge to our flag in the United States. Most of us who grew up through the Baby Boomer Generation and the succeeding generations have recited this pledge hundreds and, perhaps, more then a couple thousand times during our lifetimes.

I guess one of the most noteworthy things to me about the pledge is that it acknowledges that the U.S. is a Republic. This is where the difference lies in personal or natural freedom under a republic and limited, controlled, civil or dictated freedom under a true democracy. As I've stated continually, this blog is not about politics. A republic and a democracy are two very different things. And just to be sure, Democrats and Republicans don't necessarily have anything to do with the definition of a republic or a democracy. I point this out because if you love and desire personal or natural freedom and liberty, then you'll want this country and your individual states (if you're in the United States) to remain as, definitively, true to the U.S. Constitution and each state constitution. As outlined in the U.S. Constitution, each state must also be a republic to be one of the United States.

What turned me on to this topic this morning was one of the various news feeds I scan. This feed gave me a link to retiring Congressman Ron Paul's farewell address to the U.S. House of Representatives. I don't particularly enjoy listening to Dr. Paul. While I find him a very intelligent individual and defender of individual liberty, he, unfortunately, was not blessed with the gift of eloquence, at least, not off the cuff. But, then again, the current U.S. President is considered an effective orator when he has a prepared speech and a teleprompter, but, in my opinion, is lackluster in extemporaneous speaking.

I found the transcript of his address to be inspiring and distressing at the same time. It is pretty well known that Ron Paul is a Libertarian Republican, more Libertarian than Republican, I would venture to say. While I personally do not like titles and prefer not to be labeled, other than by self-defined labels like nomad, independent thinker and such, I've taken at least one Internet quiz (on numerous occasions over a period of time) to determine my political stance. I come out dead center as a Libertarian every time. Again, I choose not to label myself a Libertarian even though my leanings happen to shadow the generally accepted Libertarian philosophy. So, I am not pushing libertarianism here.

What I am suggesting, not recommending, just suggesting, is that if you have fifteen minutes or so that you'd like to invest in gaining some real insight into our country, our current crises (that's plural), where this country went wrong and the few possible ways it might be saved, you should click on this link to Ron Paul's Farewell Address and read it for yourself.  That is, of course, unless you believe the government should dictate more and more of our lives. That would be a democracy where the majority becomes the dictator through representatives and the minority loses their individual natural rights and liberties to the dictates of the majority. 

Unfortunately, it seems there are more and more people who believe the government can run their individual lives better than they can run their own lives. And, of course, there are a huge number of people who don't know the difference between a republic and a democracy and equate them as one and the same. They are not. In that case I strongly recommend a Google search for republic vs democracy where you can learn the very distinct differences.

All government at any level should be as small and exercise the least control over my life as possible. There should never be any intimidation of private citizens. It should only exist to serve me and the other "people" of the "We the People" that ratified the U.S. Constitution. I am and will always be a proponent of "Living Free," which means I support individual natural freedom, protection of individual inalienable rights, liberty and justice for all.

Photo-of-the-Week #78 - Mt. Rainier in the Early Summer - June 2012

Majestic Mt. Rainier outside Seattle, Washington. I love nature and all the beauty and majesty of this planet. While I certainly have an understanding of the scientific basis for much of what creates and sustains the beauty of the planet, I still feel so small and awestruck by it all. As you have probably figured out by now, I am not a National Geographic type or quality photographer. I guess I'm what you call and "Opportunist Photographer." I see a photo op and I attempt to capture it.

I have received from very complimentary comments and emails about some of my photos from those who follow the blog. I'm appreciative of receiving these compliments. I'm also pleased to know that something that caught my eye and I was able to capture with one of my photographic devices pleased your eye as well. I have thousands of photos, but like most professional photographers (and I don't claim to be a professional), I have to sort through them to find the "one" shot that truly captures what I was seeing and feeling. I have other friends who are much more focused on what they shoot. They look for THE shot, then frame and focus and take great care to get that "one" shot every time they go on a photo expedition. Perhaps their photos are better then mine, but I'm happy to capture something that moves me at that instant.

I shot this photo of Mt. Rainier about ten minutes from my son's place in Seattle. I was driving along this lake and there was the shot. I quickly found a place to pull off the road and walked to the edge of the lake and viola - here's the shot. No! It's not the only shot from this vantage point. I took several, but this is the "one." It represents everything I was seeing and feeling at that precise moment. You may describe it any way you like. My description is that it is "breathtaking." One day I'll post another shot of Mt. Rainier that I took when the pilot of an Air Alaska flight I was on provided a National Geographic, fly by, "Kodak Moment." 

Behold, “My McVansion”

It’s time for the official announcement in the Name My Van contest.

After going through piles of names and then narrowing it down to 12 and then to 3, I’ve finally settled on one. After trying all three names for several weeks and getting responses from various folks, the name that garnered the most smiles, chuckles and “that’s cutes” is “My McVansion” The name actually submitted by Brian Tricoli of Hawthorne, NJ was “Mini McVansion.” and while I liked the name that way, I felt it was a bit redundant. After all, when comparing a McMansion with a McVansion, the size difference should be pretty apparent.

So, I liked McVansion, which garnered the most votes overall by a small margin. But, then as men often do when naming a boat, I personalized it. A boat, for example might end up as “My Serenity” or “My Obsession.” In my case it became “My McVansion.”

And as I mentioned earlier, this name lends itself to a nickname. Just as people refer to McDonald’s fast food restaurants as “Mickey D, My McVansion will affectionately be known as “Mickey V.”

I want to thank all of you who played along with my Vantastic Name My Van game. I hope you had some fun in dreaming up the very creative names you all submitted. I definitely had fun with it and appreciate your submissions.

Now, I’ll see about getting some decals made up for Mickey V and affix them.

Thanks again.

Step #4 Simplifying Your Life – Part 2

Here is my opening line, again --

“Life is complex.”

In Part 1 of this post, you created a series of lists labeled as follows:

1   Newspapers/Periodicals

2   Mail

3   Wardrobe

4   Vehicle(s)

5   Toys

6   Home(s)

7   Phone(s)

8   Holidays

9   Debt

10 Banking/Investments

11 Shopping

12 Job/Employment

13 Health/Fitness

14 Volunteering/Organizations

15 Relationships

So far we’ve covered 1-7 of this list in Part 1. Now, we’re going to complete 8-15. As I’ve made clear, these are far from all of the areas of anyone’s life that can and likely should be simplified. These are a sampling to get you started down this path. Also, you have to determine for yourself how deep you want to go in each of these areas. What I’m giving you are suggestions. You have to live your life. You may just start dabbling and trying a few of these things. As you do so and you begin to realize how much better life can be, you’ll likely continue expanding into more areas of your life and the complexities you can simplify. Believe me when I tell you, no matter how simple you think you’ve made your life, there are external forces that will continue to complicate it for you. And, if, for whatever reason, you decide living a simpler life is not for you, just stop - complication, complexity, obfuscation, etc. will flood back in like a tsunami.

Holidays

I understand that most people love holidays. Well, perhaps, love is too strong a word. Holidays mean different things to different people. Before I go further, there is one personal holiday that we should each mark and set aside in our calendar each year. It’s our own birthday. And here’s the best part, you can celebrate your birthday on ANY day you choose to celebrate it on. You can even celebrate it for a week or a month. It’s your personal holiday and you can do anything you like with it. And, for heaven’s sake, stop worrying about the years. Cut the “39 again” crap. You’re never going to be 39 again if you’re over 39 and you’re going to pass 39 one day if you’re younger then 39. And, frankly, I didn’t find 39 to be anything exceptional anyway. I consider the number of years I’ve lived as a badge of honor. The more years I’ve lived the more I’ve experienced, laughed, cried, gained knowledge, wisdom, seen, done, and so on. I hope I live to a healthy, active 100 or more and I’ll be darn proud of it.

Now, as for the rest of the “so-called” holidays, have you noticed that virtually every holiday, the kind we recognize as “legal holidays,” all have one major thing in common? Now, what would that one thing be? Why every holiday is based around Sales! Sales! Sales! Spend your hard earned money and buy more stuff you really don’t need. But, we’ll convince you that you do so you can have the latest, greatest, slickest, fastest, latest colors, newest fads, keep up with the Jones’ STUFF! And you can pay if off over just 20 years of easy, minimum payments on your credit cards. Or, better yet, take out a second mortgage or home equity loan on your home.

Of course, you don’t want to forget Easter, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to keep the restaurants in business along with Hallmark, American Greetings and the candy makers, florists, scarf, tie, belt, jewelry and fragrance businesses busy relieving you of that heavy money in your wallet. Some of you actually attach true religious meanings to Christmas, Hanukah, Easter, Passover, Ramadan and other religious observances. If these are personally meaningful to you and others close to you, then they are true holidays. But, if it’s all about spending half a year’s pay on gifts that most people don’t really need, I simply pose a one word question . . . WHY?

Holidays like Washington’s Birthday also called “President’s Day” in some places (we don’t even name them anymore), Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Columbus Day – heck, Columbus never even stepped foot on the North American continent and neither the continent or the country is even named after him, but he has a holiday – ka-ching. Memorial Day it seems is more about a three-day weekend (that appears to be expanding into a four-day weekend), family picnics, the unofficial beginning of the summer season and SALES! Too many people forget what it’s really all about. VE and VJ days, Armistice Day are basically gone. A few folks still honor those who served their country on Veterans’ Day along with SALES!

Then there’s Labor Day? What’s that all about anymore? Why, it’s another three-day (expanding to four) period of time off for picnics, the unofficial end of summer and SALES! And, of course, we celebrate Independence Day on the 4^th of July, Thanksgiving (which is interestingly a single day holiday that is almost universally accepted as a four day holiday to promote “Black Friday” SALES) and New Year’s Day. Name one of the major holidays that promotes 90% the meaning of the holiday and 10% the economic value? Oops! It’s the other way around, isn’t it?

I am not condemning holidays. I am condemning the aberration of what a holiday is supposed to commemorate by the mass mind control the government, media, retail and travel industries have over people. I’m condemning the stress people put themselves through to “enjoy” the holiday.

So, pick and choose the holidays that have personal meaning to you and forego the rest. Enjoy a day of peace and quiet. Let the rest of the world go on a mad spending spree or running to the crowded beaches to pay extremely inflated prices. You can enjoy those same beaches just before or after the holiday for a lot less with smaller or no crowds to deal with. And, in case you hadn’t noticed, there are sales going on EVERY WEEK, often better then the holiday sales.

If you celebrate the religious meaning of holidays, carry on. Perhaps enjoy a quiet New Year’s Eve with friends and family. Remember our vets on Veterans Day. Celebrate our country and what it means on the 4^th of July. Celebrate family and friends and all we have to be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day. Do it all simply, with taste and class, save your money and let the rest of the masses go crazy. You don’t need a special designated day to honor mothers, fathers, grand parents or anyone else. We should do that everyday. You’ll be freer and happier. And, don’t forget to celebrate your personal holiday in a really BIG way. Happy Birthday, whenever it is.

Debt

This one is going to get you right in the wallet where all those plastic cards are. Life is NEVER simple and you are never free when you have debt. This subject will be covered in more detail in Step #6 on Finances, so I’m only going to suggest that you list all your credit cards, store cards, gas cards, bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, mortgage, rent, insurance, tax, utility, car, child support, spousal support, home equity, signature, line of credit, student, business and any other financial loans or other accounts you have.

Whew! What did I say about “Life is Complex?” How much time does this take from your average allotment of 43,680 minutes per month? Don’t forget to deduct minutes for sleeping, working, commuting, eating, domestic responsibilities, etc. So, start figuring out how to knock some of this off your complicated list of things to do. Pay off every credit card every month and never carry any balances. If you can’t afford to pay it off the month you purchase it, you probably don’t need it. Here’s a really big one that works every time . . . BUY LESS STUFF! Learn to buy right when you must buy something. Your life will be simpler and your bank accounts fuller. You won’t get out of debt instantly, but spending less and paying off more until you are out of debt will make your life simpler and definitely happier. Learn the difference between true needs and wants – i.e. what you would like to have, but don’t truly, actually, need.

Banking/Investments

You can go back to the list you created above under Debt and start applying some of these simplifying steps. Stop getting paper statements in the mail and stop paying by paper checks and mail. Use online Bill Pay; it’s free at most banks. Have mortgage, insurance and other recurring payments ACH direct debited from your checking account. Track your accounts with online banking. Stop receiving paper bank statements. Let the banks do all the work for you. It’s more efficient and they like it better. Start savings accounts for your next car, vacation, etc. You can have one savings account and use multiple registers in your Quicken or QuickBooks program to track each of the designated funds in the one account.

If you don’t already have your investment and retirement accounts with an organization that can provide you with 24/7 instant, online access to your accounts, ask if they offer the service. If they don’t, consider moving to an organization that does. You can track your accounts, your gains and losses, make trades, move money around, etc. fast, efficiently and with ease.

Consider getting Debit or Check Cards for specific accounts. However, be careful where and how you use them. Many of them don’t provide the same fraud protections as credit cards do. Remember with a credit card you’re using someone else’s money. When you use a debit card, it’s your own money and the banks don’t care as much about your money as they do their own money. Limit the number of active credit cards you maintain. The more you have is not necessarily the merrier and can often open doors that you won’t like once you’re inside. Again, we’ll cover more of this in Step #6 on Finances.

Shopping

This is a big one. Some people live to shop. This is more typical of women then men, though I have some male friends who . . . well, enough said. Many people do not enjoy shopping. Remember, this is about simplifying YOUR life and no one else’s. Make a list of all the things you regularly shop for. This would include food and household needs mainly. Lesser (should be much lesser) would include clothes, shoes and such. Then there will discretionary items like CD’s, DVD’s, furniture, art, electronics, computers (as differentiated from electronics), sporting goods, books, entertainment and so on. If this list gets really long (and it will if you don’t cheat) you’re over indulging yourself.

Now, make a list of your ACTUAL needs on a weekly and monthly basis. Needs means you can’t survive on a day-to-day basis without these things – like bread and water. See how many of these needs you can purchase in one place at the most economical prices. Where can you buy generic store brands, essentially, the same product as the brand name product with a store’s name on it and saving you 20% to 50%. If you have storage space, buy extra when items you regularly use are on sale or sold in bulk and save money. When you go shopping make a list then create a circuit that takes you to all the necessary places in one loop and brings you home again. If you are out of something important, make a short list and pick those items up as you pass the store(s) on your way to or from somewhere else like work, school, church or some other necessary trip. Stop turning up your nose at Walmart, Target, Kmart and Aldi among others. They have quality merchandise, are usually quick to get through and will save you MONEY! Never shop for food when you’re hungry. Never shop for anything without a list and STICK TO YOUR LIST!

Use places like pricey department stores, Best Buy, HHGregg and other similar retail places to window shop. Once you’ve seen and touched it, then shop online at places like Amazon, Buy.com, ebates.com and thousands of other places. Don’t forget to check Ebay, Craig’s List, Free Cycle and similar online sites, too. Did you know that you can often find, brand new, off the rack clothes, housewares, small appliances, etc. like new or often never used with the original tags still on them at thrift shops, Hospice, Goodwill, Salvation Army, consignment shops, flea markets and yard/garage/moving sales? What’s the difference between buying a new $25.00 hard cover book and a used or remaindered copy of the same book for $5.00 or less? You’ll find them at a used bookstore, flea market, yard sale or online used dealers through Amazon and other places? The words are still the same and all the pages are there. You just save money.

I have found exactly what I was looking for brand new on Ebay at prices I couldn’t find anywhere else, often with free shipping and a full warranty. Last year I upgraded to a new Motorola Atrix 4g smart phone. It was a top-rated, several hundred dollar unit. My provider, AT&T, had an upgrade path for me to purchase the phone for $99.00. Or, I could get a refurbished phone for $50.00. I bought the refurb. It looked like new and has worked perfectly. It would have cost me $80.00 more at the warehouse club I belong to. That same warehouse club just offered the latest version of my smart phone for $.01. I was tempted, but . . .

I only buy Kindle ebooks now that I read on my netbook computer and my smart phone with the FREE Kindle application from Amazon. I’m also an Amazon affiliate, so I buy through my own affiliate program and get an additional discount of 5% to 10%. You can do this, too, if you have a Web site or a blog. Get the point? Shop at home. Avoid traffic and hassles. Save gas and money. The result is a simpler, freer, less stressful and happier life.

Job/Employment

Now, this is simple! If you have a long expensive commute, have to deal with a lot of traffic and #&#@@#^ drivers, work with people you don’t enjoy being around, doing something that is unfulfilling or, maybe, you just plain hate doing – then QUIT! You’re shaking your head and saying to yourself, “Yeah! Great advice from some jerk who has never had an honest job in his life.” Well, I beg to differ. I was in the U.S. Air Force for nearly four years. Of course, there is still a lot of debate as to if that was really an honest job I had. I will probably be exposed in WikiLeaks someday.

Of course, I don’t expect you to simply quit. But, I expect you to make a list of priorities in your life. How important is your time? How important is your peace of mind? If you’re able to simplify your life and cut it back to where it costs much less to live, will you still need that job or even that profession? Remember this is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about. It’s not a dress rehearsal. There are no do-overs. What would your optimum job be and I don’t mean measuring it by the amount of money you’d be paid? I mean that it will add something meaningful and fulfilling to your life as well as provide a financial base. I told you that I lowered my overhead by 80% in one day. Now, that is huge, but my action was also very drastic and won’t work for most people. What can you do to make this part of your life simpler, freer and happier?

By the way, in the event you love what you do and money is neither a motive nor a necessity, but you hate the commute or some other aspect of the job, then consider moving closer to the job. Life is full of choices and compromises. Maybe you love the medical profession but you don’t love working in the big city and the huge medical community where you currently practice. You love country, rural living. There is always a need for good doctors and other professionals in small, rural communities. No, you won’t get rich, but you’re likely to be richly rewarded in appreciation by the people you serve and your lifestyle. There are lots of ways to skin that cat.

Health/Fitness

You’re going to love this one. I’m going to make this short and sweet. You can throw rocks at me, but since no one knows where I am at any given moment (one of the advantages of my brand of freedom), you won’t hit me.

Here goes . . . drop your membership in the country club, the health club, the racquet club, the swimming pool, the gym and any other such organizations you are paying fees to so you can be among the hard body elite. Use public golf courses if you love playing golf. There are lots of public tennis courts, basketball courts, community gyms, tracks, etc. And here’s an idea that is recommended and proven by every doctor and fitness expert, just taking a plain old-fashioned brisk-paced walk anywhere can do the job. Just walk with no reason to go or be anywhere. Park at the furthest corner of every parking lot you park in and walk in and push or carry your purchases back to your car. Buy a small set of dumbbells and use them around the house or apartment while you’re walking around. Buy an inexpensive pedometer and see how close to 10,000 steps a day you can reach and keep striving to reach the 10,000 mark. You’re going to save money, accomplish the same objectives and enjoy life more . . . on your own terms.

Volunteering/Organizations

Determine what percentage of your 43,680 minutes you want to allocate to these activities each month. Now, make another list of all the organizations you belong to and all the volunteering that you do. Again, don’t cheat when you make this list. Figure out how many minutes you actually are giving to them each month. Don’t forget to include telephone calls, letters, notes, reading info sent to you, commuting time, time spent doing whatever it is you actually do for them and so on. Don’t forget to take into account any direct and indirect expenses you incur because of these activities, too. If the minutes spent is less then the percentage you said you wanted to allocate, you’re doing great. Most likely, if you’re really honest, the number of minutes is going to be more and, quite possibly, substantially more.

So, here you go again. It’s choices and compromises time again. Which one’s have to go, which one’s stay, but may get cut back? The world will not hate you. You will not go to hell for being a “sinner” and not giving of so much of your priceless time. You’re simply going to be less harried and enjoy what you actually do a lot more. I gave nearly ten years to the excellent community theater in Winchester, VA as their sound designer. They attempted to interest me in acting and in being on the board of the theater, head up a committee and so on. I loved doing the sound design and nothing more. I retired from the theater about four years ago and they awarded me a lifetime membership, an honor I continue to cherish. It took almost two years for them to pretty much realize I was serious and really gone. But, they always know I’m available by email or phone if something comes up that I can help them with – and I still love my very minimal involvement. Life is all about choices.

Relationships

This is the end of this Step, but we’ll be revisiting it later. Relationships are probably one of the most complicated, if not the most complicated parts of everyone’s life. Untold books have been written on the subject and I could write my own tome on the topic. But, that’s not for here and now. I’m simply going to say that you need to make a list of the absolutely most important relationships in your life. Some of them are going to be absolutely loving and gentle and supportive. Some are going to be business or business/social and some are going to just be toxic. Here’s the part that is hard to swallow, some of the relationships that should be loving and gentle and supportive are going to end up being the most toxic.

Surprise! Surprise! I’m sure you’ve heard of spousal abuse, child abuse and elder abuse and each of those is a two-way street. I’m not a psychologist or a social worker. I’m just a human being who loves to be loved and who loves to love. And, yet, I’ve been hurt by some who were closest to me and I’ve hurt some of those closest to me. This is not right, but, unfortunately, it’s just human nature. Most people never mean any harm to anyone else, especially those they love.

So, here’s the deal. Make the list. After you’ve made the list, little by little, evaluate for yourself and on your own terms each of the relationships. Remember, this is private. Determine the great, the good, the not so good and the toxic qualities of each relationship. If you’re truly honest with yourself, you’ll have some surprising results. It is totally possible to unconditionally love someone, yet not condone their actions or like them. It’s also completely possible to really like someone and enjoy spending time with that person, yet not love them unconditionally or be in love with them. As you go through this very challenging exercise those pesky old choices will come up again. You’ll simplify your life by pulling away from and eliminating the more toxic relationships. Your life will become richer and fuller as you nurture those relationships that make you feel good and valued and supported.

Remember, nothing you’re learning in this 12 Step Program for Living Free is an overnight process. This is a lifelong journey. You’re going to simplify some things and you’re going to feel freer and happier. Then, you’ll move on to another step and go through some more processes. One day, you’ll feel that life is still too complex and you’ll undertake more simplifying processes. As long as you progress in a forward direction at your own speed, you’re winning. There is no losing.

Mental Feng Shui

A friend, Lee, sent this to me today. You may have seen it circulating as one of these chain letter forwarding emails that gives you some background on it’s origin (actually the same one may have several different background stories) and why it’s important to forward it within X number of minutes to X number of friends. If you don’t you will be infested by an outbreak of 17 year cicadas that will eat you from the inside out and then destroy the planet or . . . some other terrible thing.

But, if you follow the directions you’ll be the recipient of your wildest dreams. Well, I’m still awaiting my 24 year old, blond, blue-eyed, super model soulmate with my Aston Martin Lagonda and the $50 million dollar inheritance and the private island in the Caribbean to materialize. I know she’s coming because I’ve followed so many of these chain letters to the ‘T’ and I know they don’t lie (I say with tongue in cheek).

Okay, I’m not holding my breath and neither should you. I’m not sending you any of the details of your great fortune or misfortune based on following the instructions you’re not going to receive. In all seriousness, I have seen this several times. Let me just say this, it struck me, as I glanced over it again today, that if you and I lived our lives on a daily basis, adhering to most or all of these admonitions, this would be a much better world and our lives would most certainly be better.

So, I offer them to you purely as some thoughts, ideals and values you may want to consider and perhaps adopt for yourself.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' - mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly, but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY ONE. Spend some time alone.

Now, here's the FUN part! Share this with others. Share this blog with friends, family and colleagues who are not happy or free or are seeking something, but they don’t know what it is. If you’ve gained anything from reading my blog, then share it with others. They will appreciate that you thought enough of them to share it. And, even if they don’t, I will.

Nothing bad will happen to you if you don’t share this message and the Living Free blog with anyone else. But, if you do, you just might help change someone else’s life for the better and, well . . . that will make you feel better.

Step #3 –A Personal Inventory Assessment – Part 2

Part 1 of Step #3 discussed creating an inventory assessment of your personal tangible assets. If you’re even remotely like me, you’ll continue finding tangible assets for a long time. When I gave up the ranch and undertook the major part of my downsizing I had a perpetual “moving sale” for over a month including a couple of weekends of open houses. A lot of tangible assets left the premises through that sale. I also sent four dump trucks of old files, ancient personal papers, nearly 40 years of Christmas decorations and similar “stuff” to the landfill. I carted about 20 heavy cartons of books to a used bookstore. I made trips to Goodwill and the Salvation Army donation centers. Yet, I still had enough left to fill up a 300 square foot storage unit with what was leftover.

I’ve been clearing that unit out now for the past three and a half years and I’m getting close to closing it out. But, during these three and a half years, I am astonished that I’m still finding assets of varying value that I’ve totally forgotten about. They have been hidden in boxes and various other containers where I suppose I put them at some time in the past with the idea that I’d get back to them someday. Well, someday has arrived. So, as you’re working on creating your personal inventory of tangible assets, don’t allow it to stress you. Most people are pack rats of one shade or another. Just keep adding to your list. In another step you’re going to make decisions about the items on your list.

Inventorying The Intangible

Now, you’re going to begin working on Part 2 of your personal inventory assessment. Part 2 deals with the intangible assets in your life. These intangibles are housed within your physical body, your mind and memory and your soul/spirit/third eye/heart or however you choose to describe that part of your being that isn’t as easy to quantify as your tangible physical self.

This time you’re going to create several different sheets to list your intangible assets. I’m going to list several here and tell you what information you’ll need to list on them. As you’re working on this step you may find that you’ll need to create some forms of your own. Go right ahead and do so, everyone is different and unique so there is no “one-size-fits-all” in this 12 Step Plan.

Here are some forms to create:

1. People
2. Education
3. Professional/Vocational
4. Personal Individual Interests/Hobbies/Avocations
5. Body/Mind Health & Fitness
6. Reading/Listening/Viewing
7. Travel Experiences
8. Spiritual – Religious (not necessarily the same thing)
9. Positive/Negative Experiences
10. Finances gains/losses
11. The Dark Side
12. Enlightenment/Aha Moments/Joys

You may, as I suggested, add more forms as you work through this step, but this is plenty to start with. You’ll find that some of these forms will have more listed on them then others and that’s fine. Once again, there is no standard pattern. Everyone is a unique patchwork quilt of human experiences. As you make your personal inventory of intangible assets you’re, hopefully, going to discover just how unique and interesting you are. Also, you’ll hopefully begin discovering a pattern through your life that will suggest a number of possible directions you’ll want to explore in your quest for living freer and happier.

It’s also important to realize and accept that these intangible assets can’t simply be eliminated through yard sales, Ebay, Craig’s List, donations or dumping at the landfill. They are part of you and will remain part of you until you die. What you want to do is identify these intangibles, many or, perhaps, most of which you may take for granted. Everything about you beginning with your genetic make-up makes you a designer original. There is no other person on this planet of seven billion people who has experienced life exactly as you’ve experienced it. Your life is your own “road less traveled.”

Form #1 is about People. Label columns across the top of the sheet as follows: Name, When, Where, Relationship, Contact, Value and R/S/L (stands for reason, season and lifetime)

Here is what they mean. Name is, of course, obvious. Name every person you can think of or remember that you’ve had some kind of interaction with. Of course, there are many you won’t remember and that’s not important. But, if you do remember someone then they have played some role in your life. There should be at least hundreds as you continue thinking about this.

When, means when did you meet them – you could say childhood, school, church, college, job, etc. leave enough space to elaborate enough to make it clear. Where means, it was a specific neighborhood, school & grade, company, city, and so on. Relationship can use abbreviations such as Fam for family, Fr for friend, B for buddy, BF for best friend, M/S for manager/supervisor, T for teacher, P for professor, V for vendor or supplier and you can make up your own as you go along. Don’t forget to create a key for these abbreviations. Contact means how often are you in contact – F for frequently, S for seldom, O for occasionally, S/M for Social Media contacts, N for never, etc. Value means VP/L for very personal/loving, obviously reserved for spouses, parents, offspring, siblings and similar. F/L is for close loving friends. F is for casual friends. A is for acquaintances. P is for professional, L is for little value and T is for toxic.

Finally, R/S/L means that someone came into your life for a Reason, like a college professor or a teacher or religious leader and so on. Or the person came into your life for a Season, perhaps you were close friends for several years through college and then went your separate ways, but you gained from the relationship in some way. And the L is for Lifetime and these are the people who are with you and continue to impact your life for a lifetime, either their lifetime or yours. They would be parents, siblings, offspring, lifelong friends, etc.

Form #2 is Education. This one requires that you simply list all of your formal education and training including pre-school through high school, college, advanced degrees, occupational/professional, military, seminars, in-service, continuing education programs, certifications, recreational/hobby and any other forms of specialized knowledge/training you’ve experienced during your lifetime. All of these experiences are part of who you are and are intangible assets.

Form #3 is Professional and Vocational. On this form you’re going to list each job or professional experience you’ve had from the very first until the present. When did you begin to learn about the necessity of doing something to provide for your survival and well-being and ultimately that of your family, if you have one? Did you begin helping your father or mother around the house for which they paid you something? We often call this an allowance, however, there were usually some small chores attached to that allowance. I was a newspaper boy at age 12 and learned about handling money, responsibility, commitment and what I could do with the money I earned. Did you have a lemonade stand or mow lawns or shovel snow? Did you have part-time jobs in supermarkets or fast food restaurants, gas stations, newspapers, etc.? Did you have work scholarships or graduate assistantships in college and graduate school? What full-time and part-time jobs have you had during your adult life? Have you been in business for yourself and created your own job? Indicate when each of these experiences occurred. And, here’s the most important part. Indicate what you learned, gained, experienced in each of these situations and how you apply it to your life currently. You may not think it has, but there is no way it hasn’t influenced who you are today.

Form #4 is Personal Interests and Hobbies. This probably won’t be a very long list since most of us find these interests and hobbies when we’re fairly young and they evolve with us and us with them. So, list your personal interests and hobbies? When did the initial interest begin? Do you belong to any organizations with other people with the same interests? How much time during your lifetime have you been able to devote to these interests? Are you fine with where you are with your current involvement or would you like to expand the involvement? How have you benefited in your overall life because of this special interest or hobby?

Form #5 is Body/Mind Health and Fitness. Here you are going to list everything you’ve done in the past and currently do to keep yourself physically and mentally healthy. You’re also going to list the negative things like dealing with broken bones, heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, MS and so on. What treatments did you undergo? What were the outcomes of those treatments – full-recovery, limited recovery, loss of some functionality, etc.? What have you learned through these experiences about yourself and how have they impacted your life to the present time?

Form #6 is Reading, Listening and Viewing. What books have you read? Who have you listened to in lectures and music in person or on tape (the old format), CD’s (a current format) or downloads (the format of the future)? What movies and TV shows have you watched? It is, again, impossible to remember every single book, every single lecture, every single piece of music and every single movie or TV show you’ve ever read, listened to or watched. But, the ones you do remember had some impact on you or you wouldn’t remember them. Attempt to remember when you read/listened/viewed them and the reason or motivation for reading/listening/viewing them. For example, books that have influenced me include “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Road Less Traveled” to mention just two of far too many to go into for this example. How have these various forms of input impacted your life to the present?

Form #7 is Travel Experiences. Perhaps you have not had an opportunity to travel broadly. On the other hand, maybe you’ve traveled the world. Any travel, even if it’s only to the nearest large city is going to change your outlook and worldview. List everyplace you’ve ever traveled since you can remember as a child. List the circumstances of the travel, such as a family vacation, to visit grandparents who were some distance away, to attend a wedding or funeral and so on. List all your adult travel for fun, for business, for obligations of various kinds. Then list the impact each travel experience had on you. What did you learn about the people you met, the things you saw, the places you went, etc.? How has this impacted your life and worldview in the present?

Form #8 is Spiritual and Religious experiences. It doesn’t matter if you’re a devout Christian, Orthodox Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Agnostic, Atheist or anything else. Humans, by nature, are spiritual beings. You may not practice any religion, however, there are times when you do experience some kind of connection to another human being or something in nature. You may not describe these feelings, attitudes or experiences as spiritual, but that’s not important. The fact that you do is all that matters. As humans we grow and evolve and all of these experiences add a dimension to who we are ultimately becoming on a practical, real world basis. So, list every religious experience, the religious education you may have had as a child, the organizations you may have or may still belong to and any other experience that may be explained in some manner as spiritual in nature. When did these experiences occur? How have they influenced and impacted your life and who you are currently?

Form #9 is Positive and Negative experiences. Some of these may have found places on other lists that you’re currently making, but list them here anyway. During your lifetime there have been positive experiences such as your first boyfriend/girlfriend, the first time you made love, the standing ovation you received at your first solo in elementary school or the blue ribbon you received on a project you did for the 4H Club. Perhaps, you graduated with honors from high school or college, received a full-scholarship to the university of your choice or became a partner in the firm you worked for. The negatives could have been the break-up of your first relationship or later in life, the divorce or death of a spouse. Perhaps you flunked out of college or were fired from a job you really liked. Maybe you took a big loss in the stock market or you had to bankrupt your business. List every one of the positive and negative experiences you can remember. Then list the positive impact regardless of the positive or negative nature of the experience, each has had on your life. Don’t be concerned with the negative impact. That’s over. But, every experience has a positive side to it and that’s what makes you better for it – the intangible asset.

Form #10 is Financial Gains and Losses. It doesn’t matter who you are, including Warren Buffett, Bill Gates and “The Donald,” you have realized some financial gains and some financial losses. That is simply the way the world and life works. List them including when they occurred and the impact on your life and how you gained, even from the losses. Perhaps, you had a business go under where you had invested every cent you had. Maybe, due to the loss of a job, your house went into foreclosure. You may have made a pile of money in the stock market and took a sizeable sum of that money and, unsuspectingly, put it into a fund that was going through Bernie Madoff. List the positive outcome of each experience whether positive or negative. Again, you gained and it’s part of your current intangible assets.

Form #11 is The Dark Side. Yes! There is some Darth Vader in every person, including you. It’s important to remember that this is YOUR personal inventory. No one else needs to ever see this. The only person it’s important to is you. So, look deep inside and dig out those dark things that you don’t want anyone to know about. List everything you can remember that you’ve ever done that you’re not proud of or that you’re ashamed of. I won’t make any suggestions here. You know your own heart. And the reason you know these dark things is because in some way, at some time, they have shown their ugly colors. As you list them, also list all the positive things that you do and have done because of realizing you have this dark side.

Form #12 is the Enlightenment, Aha Moments and Joys of your life. This is the opposite side of what you listed on Form #11. Mostly, you are a very good person. There may be a few people in our society who are sociopaths and dwell in their dark side. Most people control their dark side and live in the light. You have not only enjoyed doing positive things for yourself and others, but you have gained from others the same way. List all the times of enlightenment and aha moments when something of wonder crossed your path. Also, recall the times of great joy when you may have done something for someone else, without consideration of any reward, compensation or return. You just experienced the joy of making someone else happier or made his or her life a little better, perhaps at a bad time in his or her life. List how these experiences have impacted your life in a positive way and how they are evident in whom you are in the present.

May The Force Be With You

That’s all for this step and that’s plenty to do regarding your intangible assets. After you’ve worked on this, even for a short time, you’ll realize just how important and unique you are. You’ll better understand where the real assets are in your world and they aren’t in your attic, basement, garage or storage building. They are all within you.

Later, we’re going to learn how dealing with the tangible assets and utilizing your intangible assets more fully will allow you to begin living free and being happier and more joyful. But, as I wrap up Step #3, I want to remind you that this is not an evening or weekend project. You have the rest of your life to complete this step. There is no deadline or finish line in this process except the “ultimate” and final finish line we will all cross at some point in our lives. So, take your time and enjoy the process. No matter what you do, as long as you do something, you are the beneficiary.

Challenges, Commitments, Choices and Consequences

There are four things that everyone faces during their lives. I call them the 4C’s. No one is going to get through this life without dealing with all four of these circumstances. Some people, primarily the people with the “glass half empty” attitude, may feel that these four words describing four types of circumstances, usually interacting with one another, are negative. However, that’s not a rule or even a good generalization. They may be and often are very positive. It’s all how you perceive them.

We begin facing challenges as children. They are typically small challenges, but they prepare us for the bigger challenges life will present when we become adults. There are commitments. Commitments are necessary in so many facets of our lives that we often don’t even realize we are making them. Life is all about choices. Most of us make so many choices each day that, we again, just make them, like commitments, automatically and, perhaps, unconsciously. And, finally, there are always consequences. Consequences are like Newton’s Third Law of Motion, that is, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Only sometimes the consequences may not be equal and are either more or less then the expected outcome.

So, how do the 4C’s relate to Living Free? The reality is that you can’t live free unless you address each of the 4C’s. First, there will be certain very real challenges to face when deciding to live free. Second, you’ll need to be committed to living free. You’re either going to live free or you’re not and the level of commitment you make will determine how free you’ll ultimately be able to live. Next, difficult choices must be made. If you want to be free and you’re in deep in debt, for example, you’re going to have to choose between several possible options to eliminate the debt. Finally, whatever choices you make will result in some kind of consequences. The outcome or the consequences should be positive if you faced the challenges, made the necessary commitments and made good choices.

Challenges  

Challenges can range from small life issues to life and death issues. As a young child a challenge might be learning to feed yourself or learning to become ambulatory. Both of these challenges will ultimately result in certain gains in freedom. Without facing the challenges of learning the skills of putting food in your mouth, you are completely dependent on someone else to do this for you. When that other person is not there, you will feel discomfort since you can’t resolve your hunger. The same applies to walking. As an infant you have no freedom. You must remain wherever you’re placed until someone else moves you. The challenge is to go from non-ambulatory to ambulatory. There are a lot of bumps and bruises between those two circumstances.

Childhood and teenagers face more significant challenges, again, based on perception. Some examples include learning to deal in a more competitive environment such as the classroom, athletics, creative pursuits, relationships, dealing with bullies, facing the first dating situation, facing an adult world and determining how you will prepare for that world through education, gaining skills and so on. As you face each of these circumstances, each challenge will try you more. And, of course, one day, you’ll leave high school, college, graduate school, professional training, perhaps several of these situations or others and become an adult.

Adult challenges become even more trying. How will you find a job, career, business or activity that suits you and meets your needs? When you meet someone and decide this is the person you want to enter into a lifetime relationship with, how will you know? What if you make a mistake? You live 30 miles from where you will earn your income and your conveyance breaks down. How will you get there and have your conveyance repaired at the same time. Your partner, spouse, significant other has a life threatening accident or contracts a life altering medical situation. How will you face the challenge?

All of these are only a small sampling of the plethora of challenges we have and will continue to face throughout our lives. There is no escaping them. You, I and everyone else WILL face many significant challenges.

Commitments

Facing and dealing with any kind of challenge, whether you perceive it as a positive or a negative situation is going to require you to make commitments. The most frequent commitments you will make will be to yourself. You must be committed to yourself first before you make any commitment involving one or more other people. Some tangents of commitment can include loyalty and dedication. In order to be loyal and/or dedicated to another person, an employer, a cause, an organization or group or any other similar situation, you must first make a commitment.

One example is when you join a branch of the military in the U.S. you will sign a contract and swear under oath to defend your country and the U.S. Constitution no matter what you are asked to do, including the supreme sacrifice of your life. This is a REAL commitment. Here are some other examples. When you accept a job you make a commitment to the employer. When you get married you make a commitment. When you parent a child you make a commitment. When you buy a house and take out a mortgage or buy a car and take out a loan you make a commitment.

Typically, some kind of challenge is present to place you in a position to make most commitments. But, as I said, the primary commitments you will make will be to yourself. Are you committed to your own belief systems and resources to what you are setting out to do? Are committed to a career or profession? Are you committed to a married life? Are you committed to a family life? Are you committed to a healthy and fit life? If you haven’t made these commitments to yourself, first and foremost, you can’t commit to anyone or anything else.

Choices

Life is all about choices. Do you want a sandwich or a slice of pizza? Do you want this brand of toothpaste or that brand? Do you want short hair or long hair? Do you want to dress simply and functionally or do you want to be a fashion pate? These are simple choices in comparison to others.

An extreme example of a choice might be that you find yourself in a combat zone in a foxhole with five comrades, the enemy lobs a hand grenade into the foxhole right next to you. The exploding grenade would likely kill or severely injure all six occupants of the foxhole. Choice . . .! Do you jump on the grenade, sacrificing your life to save the lives of the five comrades or do you yell “Grenade!” and jump out of the foxhole hoping the other five get out in time?

Obviously, and thankfully, most of us will never be in the foxhole scenario. However, you make so many choices everyday, many of which are simply automatic, or perhaps, you’ll term them “reflex actions” like swerving to miss hitting an animal that appears in front of your car. Yet, that reflex action still required a split second choice.

Perhaps you have to choose to accept a new job offer or stay with the job you currently have. A number of years ago I knew a union member in the broadcast industry who had the responsibility of negotiating a new contract with the radio station he and his colleagues worked for. In order to present a contract to the station management that would be favorable to both bargaining parties he had to eliminate one union staff position. The negotiation was successful, the contract was signed and he chose to be the member of the staff to be eliminated.

The list of choices is endless and mostly they are taken for granted. When a bride and groom stand before the clergyman or the justice of the peace they are each given a choice to make. Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? The choice at that moment – and a choice can still be made is – yes, I do or no, I don’t. Will you have a huge, gala event for your wedding costing tens of thousands of dollars? Or, will you have a small intimate wedding and save the tens of thousands of dollars to use toward buying a home where you can invite all your friends and family for many gala events? Choices! Choices! Choices! Life is ALL about choices.

Consequences

Finally, we come to the fourth C, consequences. No matter what the challenge is. No matter what commitments you make. No matter what you choose. There will be consequences. Some people automatically assume the word consequences means a negative result or outcome. However, the definition of the word consequence does not indicate positive or negative. It simply means the outcome or the results of a choice. Once again, it’s about perception. Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full?

No one wants to face negative consequences. Robbing a bank involves challenges, commitments, choices and, if caught, accepting the consequences that are not very appealing to most people. That’s probably why most people who face the challenge of needing money aren’t willing to commit themselves to and choosing to rob a bank as a way of overcoming the challenge. On the other side of the coin, though, is the person who faces the challenge of needing money, makes a commitment to start a small business, does the research and makes the choices on how to obtain the resources to start the business. In this scenario, the consequence could very well be a positive outcome through a successful business venture.

Again, something you enter into after examining the challenge, making the appropriate commitments and making excellent choices, could still have a less then positive consequence or even a very negative consequence. You could have found your soul mate, yet, 5 or 10 years down the road, one or both of you may reach the conclusion that what seemed so right back then is far from the reality now. You did everything right to expand your business and yet, it failed. You brought your children up in a loving, caring family, gave them every opportunity to have a successful, happy life, even better then yours – and, yet, one of your offspring becomes an alcoholic, drug abuser, victim or perpetrator of domestic violence, a convicted felon or any number of other negative outcomes. Is that your fault? If you carry that burden on your shoulders you simply don’t have any comprehension of the 4C’s.

Living Free Through The 4C’s

Living Free isn’t about doing everything right or wrong. Living Free is about first defining what living free really means to you. Then when life presents you with a challenge you’ll face it through your self-defined living free filter. You will be committed to yourself and your living free life. You’ll make choices that will be consistent with your definition and commitment to living free. The consequences, while never 100% predictable, should mostly be consistent with your living free lifestyle.

Living Free is not as easy as people would like to believe it is. While by the definition of a republic and the provisions of the U.S. Constitution, we are essentially a free nation populated by free people, in essence that is only in a political sense and in reality, it’s limited freedom. Surely, in comparison to most other countries and political systems, we are afforded more political freedom then most. However, living free as a lifestyle is not related nor defined by a political model. Living Free is and always will be defined by our personal definition for our own lives, attitudes, state of mind and by how we react to and deal with the constant range of 4C’s circumstances that we’ll face everyday of our lives. 

Step #2 Self-discovery

A rock band named “The Who” had a hit album in the late 70’s that was titled “Who Are You?” That was also the title of one of the songs on the album. The first line of the song asks? “Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?” And, if you recall the verbal exchange between Alice and the caterpillar in the Disney version of “Alice in Wonderland,” you’ll remember that is the same question the caterpillar kept asking Alice. So, that is my question to you . . .

WHO are you? Who ARE you? Who are YOU? WHO are YOU? WHO ARE YOU?

That is same question posed five different ways. The answer? Only YOU know WHO you are and that’s your assignment for Step #2, explore and discover who you really are.

Psychobabble and Pop-psychology

As I’ve been exploring this important question, “Who am I?” for myself, I realized that I needed to make this simple. Accordingly, it should be simple for you, too. Remember, I am not a member of the “credentialed” crop of "pop-psychologists” who have gained and lost (and sometimes regained) popularity, primarily, through the media over the past several decades. I am a realist, an existentialist, of sorts, and a pragmatist. I’m not going to dish out a lot of popular psychobabble or psycho-chatter.

You are not going to be directed to use hypnotherapy or transcendental meditation or neuro-linguistic programming or positive thinking or guided visualization or similar processes. You can do any of those if you choose to. But, please engage in those processes with a licensed, credentialed, trained, experienced professional. None of this is what the 12 Step Program for Living Free is all about.

What I am expressing to you is simply from my own life experience. Sure, I have a couple college degrees and I even had a course or two in psychology as it applied to working with children in the classroom setting. But, a psychologist, I am not. I have read volumes and volumes by some of the classic “self-help” authors and, in some cases, psychologists or psychiatrists. I’ve filled my mind with everyone from J.P. Getty, Napoleon Hill, Elmer Wheeler, Maxwell Maltz, M. Scott Peck, Richard Carlson, Wayne Dyer and too many others to list.

Have I gained anything from all of these people? Of course I have. I’d have to be a lower animal not to have gained something and, I’ll be honest, I’ve gained much. I’ve gained more then I can quantify. And, much of what you’ll experience in this 12 Step Program is the result of what I’ve learned and the conscious choices of utilizing or not utilizing this knowledge in my life. Through this 12 Step Program, you’re not going to gain from all the technical and theoretical information by the scores of authors like the ones I mentioned. Rather, you’re going to gain from the practical application of simple, basic steps that can work for you if you’re willing to apply these simple steps in your life as I and countless other people have in our lives.

Remember, everything you’re learning here is in simple basic steps. You need only make a conscious choice to apply the steps to your own life and stick with them. Don’t let your IQ, degrees, professional experience, success and status hold you back from gaining the true personal freedom and happiness you have a natural right to and deserve.

The reason the 12 Step Programs have been very successful in areas of alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, over-eating, etc. is because they cross all the lines. No matter who someone is in their personal, professional or societal life, when they join and attend a 12 Step AA meeting or the meetings of any similar programs, everyone there is dealing with the same issue. Those who accept that and adhere to the 12 Steps of the particular program change their lives and succeed. Those, who choose not to and prefer to just allow life to continue to happen, usually fail. This is proof positive that the 12 Step Program in Living Free can help you to gain the freedom and happiness you seek. Don’t judge the program or the steps. Simply choose to accept them, apply them and live them.

So, WHO Are YOU Anyway?

At this point you may be saying to yourself, I know who I am. I don’t need to do this. I contend  that every individual is a dynamic being who is constantly learning, growing and changing. You weren’t the same person at age 10 that you were at age 5. You weren’t the same person at age 20 that you were at age 15. You weren’t the same person at age 40 that you were at age 20. And, in my specific case, I’m not the same person at age 67 that I was at age 40. Select any age and day in your life and you aren’t the same person physiologically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually or in any other way then the person you were the day before or at any other time in your personal history.  

Self-discovery is as ongoing a process as change is in our world. No one can tell you to do anything. No one can tell you who you are. No one can tell you who you must be . . . unless you give him or her the authority to do so and choose to accept that authority over your life.

Self-discovery is a constant process of not only discovering who you are at this moment in time, but how you reached this moment in time and who you are becoming through your life journey. More importantly, because “life happens” you WILL continue to constantly change.

Life Is About Choices And Applying The Choices

Life is all about choices. You can choose to just allow life to continue to happen and accept whatever it dishes out. Or, you can make conscious, personal choices about where you want your life to go and who you want to be. Life is still going to happen, you can’t change that. But, you can have more control of your own life if you choose to.

If you are the average adult in 2012, you make dozens, if not hundreds of choices every day. For example, you may choose to use a traditional alarm, a clock radio tuned to a station you choose to wake you, an alarm in your cell phone or no alarm device at all. You’ll choose the appropriate and accepted attire to wear that day depending on the activity you have planned. It may be for your occupation or business  or such activities as working in your garden or going fishing or biking or shopping. You’ll choose whether or not to have a first meal of the day, whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner and what you’ll eat. You’ll make similar choices for other meals and, perhaps, a few snacks during the day.

Most of those are rather routine choices and we often take them for granted. However, make no mistake, each is a choice. You also make larger decisions that include your career and responsibilities on your job, your family life or even choosing whether to have a spouse, family or not. You may be taking some courses in college or vocational training and you have to decide whether to go today or not. Or, you may be taking tests at an educational institution or for job advancement and have to make choices about answers you’re not entirely sure about.

You may have to make choices of the most serious kind, life or death decisions, about your own life or the life of someone else. You may be in the military and have to choose who to take with you on an assignment or whether to volunteer for a dangerous assignment. You may have to decide whether to jump on an armed hand grenade to save the lives of several other members of your team or to just yell “grenade” and allow everyone to fend for themselves with the potential of several team members being killed or severely injured.

Life is all about choices and you started making them when you were a baby. Every choice you have made is part of who you are. Everything you’ve learned in school and any formal education you have is another part of who you are. Every relationship you’ve had with family, friends, boyfriends or girlfriends, employers, people you’ve come in contact with through community, government, charitable, religious, social and other interactions have contributed to who you are. Your various kinds of occupational, professional and business relationships and experiences, plus every movie, television show, radio show, Internet search and Web site visited, piece of music you’ve listened to, live theatrical and concert event you’ve enjoyed, military service and the list goes on . . . are all archived in the memory banks of your lifetime.

You are so much more then you were when you were a child or a teenager or a young adult (although you may still be a teenager or young adult currently). The process of self-discovery is a process where you take everything that you can remember about your life and explore the path it has taken you through on your lifetime journey to culminate at this moment in time. And, as you go through this exploratory process, you’ll recall things that you’ve sublimated and thought you had or, at least, attempted to forget. Some of the things you’ll remember will be painful. Some will remind you of great joy and pleasure. But, you can’t discount any of it because you are a complete and unique tapestry of everything that has ever happened to you.

Life is all about choices. Everyone has made some great choices. Everyone has made some not so great choices. Everyone has made some bad choices. You are the sum total of every choice and the resulting experiences, good, bad or in between, of every choice and experience.

And, don’t forget those dreams we explored in Step #1. Every dream, whether to be a cowboy or astronaut or business person or college professor or mother/father or rock star or actor or missionary or doctor or race car driver, etc., is part of who you are no matter what the dream was. You may have followed one or more of your dreams and accomplished it or them. You may have chosen to allow life to happen as it may, and shelved all the dreams.

What Do I Do With All This Stuff?

First, you must make a list of all your self-discovery. I have a friend, Michael Aun, in Florida, who began journaling when he was a youngster. His grandfather, who he held in high esteem and who he continues to display a deep respect and love for many years after his grandfather’s death, gave him his first book in which to journal. Michael has a written record of his life. It’s a detailed autobiography, if you will, that was written in real time as Michael’s life unfolded.

Listing everything you will remember as you progress through your personal process of self-discovery is important. It becomes a fruitless exercise if you don’t write it down and can’t connect all the events. You’ll want to talk with living relatives like siblings, parents, friends and anyone else who can help you remember little things that can assist in pulling all the pieces together.

You are, in essence, creating your own autobiography. However, you’re not doing it with any ego fulfillment motive. You’re creating a picture of yourself and all the richness of the tapestry that is you. This is going to answer the question we started with. “Who are you?”

The Foundation For Living Free And Happy – The Roots of Discontent And Unhappiness

So, now you’re down to the bottom line. Why do you want to know who you are?

You’ve been given the gift of life for a finite period of time. Most of us don’t have any knowledge of how much time we’ve been blessed with. Another of the great questions that philosophers have been asking since the earliest time of human existence is, “What’s it all about?” Of course, we know that part of the question is answered by a single word, survival. But, beyond basic survival and needs, why are we here?

I have a personal belief as a realist, existentialist and pragmatist that we’re here to enjoy every moment of this life we can. That may sound self-centered and selfish, however, I believe enjoying every moment of life and being self-centered and selfish are mutually exclusive. Every single human being on the face of this earth, no matter where we were fortunate or unfortunate enough to be born, has the basic human right to be free and to pursue personal happiness and fulfillment as we individually define them for ourselves.

The choices I’ve made and continue to make for my life to experience personal freedom and happiness have absolutely nothing to do with the choices you’ve made and will continue to make. I also know that IF you are reading and following this simplistic 12 Step Program, you’re searching for answers. You’re not experiencing the freedom you desire. You’re not enjoying the true happiness you feel you deserve.

You may have multiple PhD’s or be a general or admiral in the military. You may be a teacher, preacher, doctor or lawyer. You may be the CEO of a huge corporation or the owner of a small business or a simple laborer. Your position in life doesn’t matter. The desires are all the same.

There are those who won’t give this 12 Step program a chance to work for them or even take a serious look at it. That’s not my problem or concern, nor does it bother me in any way that some choose to take a different path in life, wherever it may lead them. I am not, don’t pretend to be and have no desire to be a savior or messiah for anyone other then my own humble life.

Self-discovery is a continuing process and without knowing who you are, you will likely never become who you believe you can be or live the life you want to live – free, happy, fulfilled and satisfied. Self-discovery is another of the cornerstones of personal freedom and, ultimately, the happiness with your life that you desire. Share the Living Free 12 Step Program with others. Some will embrace it while others will reject it. That’s no different then any other 12 step program and one reason there is still a huge problem in our country and the world with alcohol, drugs, gambling, overeating, etc. The Living Free 12 Step Program is one of the few positive programs to fulfilling your own desires for your life.