“To Thine Own Self Be True” – Willie Shakespeare

Actually, the quote goes,

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

These were Polonius’ last words of advice to his son Laertes from Hamlet.

Literary scholars and philosophers have been interpreting Shakespeare for years. One has to take into account the era it was written, the English language at that time, the context of the story line and so on. It’s all above my pay grade.

I look at the words of these “ancient” philosophers in terms of the current day and what impact they have on my thinking in the here and now. As 2012 has begun unfolding itself, I find myself in decidedly new circumstances. After three years of “living free” from the bonds of:

--a house and land to take care of and cover the overhead on full-time.

--the burden of having too much “stuff” of a material nature, mostly no longer useful to me.

--the enslavement of being involved in a business I never aspired to be in that drained my energy, enthusiasm, emotions, psyche, body and bank accounts.

--still being a bit too concerned about what others thought of me and needing to be concerned about feeling and looking successful to “them.”

--not feeling or experiencing the freedom I had started out with as a young man and then put on the shelf and kept pushing it back as “life happened,” as it will.

--realizing that there is a whole lot less sand in the top of my hour glass of life then the sand in the bottom that has already passed through.

--and, finally accepting that wealth and richness of living isn’t about money or accumulating material “stuff,” it’s about people, experiences and love and the most precious and priceless things of all . . . time and freedom.

Class Mottos

I still remember back to my college and high school days when we selected class mottos. In high school it was “The old order changeth, yielding place to new,” a quote from Alfred, Lord Tennyson, often quoted. In college it was, “Carpe Diem,” attributed to Horace, sometime prior to 8 BC. It is widely and not very accurately translated from the Latin to mean, “seize the day.” As I look at both of those class mottos today, they seem trite to me, now. We thought, as teenagers, we had an understanding of the true and deep meanings of these words. We were the new order back then. We were full of energy, excitement, and enthusiasm. We were bright. We saw nothing ahead of us except a future full of realizing our every dream. Now, those classes I was part of back then are on the other end of the spectrum – the “old order” and, indeed, things are changing.

Once upon a time the presidents of the United States were my seniors, older then me. The last two presidents were my age (actually both are a year younger then I am). The current president is 16 years younger then me – I was going into my junior year in high school when he was born. Of the five current candidates vying for the Republican nomination, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich are all within five years of my age; only Newt is a year older. Ron Paul is certainly from the old order at ten years older then me and Rick Santorum is close to Obama’s age. Since this is not a political forum, I won’t discuss politics, but it does illustrate my point about the old order and change.

Looking closer at “carpe deim” that I called trite, it would more accurately be translated by Latin scholars as, “pluck the day” or as a further example, “enjoy the day, pluck the day when it is ripe.” The entire phrase from Horace is, ”carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero” and a scholarly translation is, “Pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.”

The Old Order - Oops, That's Me!

So, I am now of the “old order” in Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s words. I accept that. I honestly didn’t give much thought to becoming the old order when I was young. I’m sure you didn’t either. But, if you’re of the old order, accept it and realize that we’re in a different place in a different world then when we were young. If you’re somewhere on the journey of transitioning from the young to the old order, realize that you’re going to be here with me one day. If you’re the young and you’re reading this, then reread the last paragraph, over and over. You, too, will one day be part of the old order. Value your time more then anything else you may ever own. Hold onto your freedom (it’s becoming harder and harder to do that) and experience all that life has to offer. Cherish your friends and family, share your love freely and receive theirs in kind.

Remember as members of a society, no matter where we are in this world and I know I have readers around the world, we all need to be productive members of our society and world. Don’t sell your soul for money and material things. There is nothing wrong with money nor is there anything wrong with having the “stuff” you would like to have, but weigh the cost. That’s going to be difficult when you’re younger, especially if you live in a country where there is a substantial amount of freedom and a lifestyle of over indulgence. While it may not be reasonable now, one day you’ll realize that your hour glass will run out of sand, you’ll turn back to dust and all the money and material stuff you accumulated will be left behind. You only take your memories. Will you be loved because of the person you are or for the money and stuff you sacrificed your life to accumulate and bribe your family and impress your friends with. Will they love you for the inheritance you’ll leave them and not the person you are?

So, for me, after a lifetime of business, I’m now of the old order. What are my most valued possessions? Those would be my son and family (even though I’m divorced and single), my friends, my experiences, my memories, my reclaimed personal freedom and every second of time I have left in the hourglass of my life. I have been fortunate to be self-employed all of my life, other then a few years in the U.S. Air Force and some part-time jobs in high school and college. But, I now realize that I also worked far more hours then I should have, often in futility, since things didn't work out to my satisfaction. I created my own commutes when I had business locations separate and some distance from my home. Indeed, there is a price for everything, especially freedom.

Quiet Desperation

Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” As I look around me in this small, rural town in West Virginia where I’m now situated temporarily, the meaning of this statement has become more meaningful. No, it’s not because I’m in a small rural town in West Virginia where the primary industries of the region have declined or disappeared entirely. It’s because as I was seeing in the Shenandoah Valley and in northern Virginia, the mass of the people don’t seem happy. True, they are employed, generally, in jobs that they don’t enjoy and certainly don’t love (if they are employed at all), but they do it to pay mortgages, car payments, ever increasing gas, food, clothes, medical and utility bills. In large urban and suburban areas they sit in traffic gridlock or fight their way onto buses or subways to get to and from work, often taking another couple hours or more of their lives, five and six days a week.

I see college and university students, starting their college careers with enthusiasm and anticipation. Then they are finding that at the end of their course of study (except for a few fields) their dreams are shattered as they can’t find jobs in their chosen career fields. If they are able to find a job at all, it’s often taken in desperation because they have tens of thousands of dollars of student loans to pay back, plus the probability of some accumulated credit card debt and a car payment. Additionally, they must now shoulder responsibilities of “adulthood.” Many move back in with their parents and increasing the parent's burden.

Sure, there are, also, those we describe as having a “Type A” personality. It’s alternatively described as being a “workaholic.” I’ve been there and done that. For those people, life is not about living. life is about working. They live to work. They are not living lives of quiet desperation because they don’t have time to live or think about living other then their work. Vacations are sandwiched into business trips and while they are on the “vacation” they are on their cell phones, iPads, netbook and laptop computers that are ever with them, every waking and sleeping moment. They live in big houses full of stuff like the latest video game systems, appliances and such in expensive condos or suburbia McMansions. They are typically married and have children. They bribe the spouse and kids with all the trimmings of success.

This description, of course, can apply to a man or a woman in today's industrialized country – and when both of them are “Type A” personalities, one has to wonder when and how they made time to actually make the children who are raised by nannies, day care centers, after school programs, boarding schools, etc. For these people it may not seem like quiet desperation. But, the reality is, they never learned about how fantastic this short span of life we are blessed with can be if you “stop and smell the (damn) roses” and experience life in its full measure.

New Opportunities

So, for me, 2012 offers nothing but fantastic new opportunities to explore life and the world. I’m pressing myself to explore and expand my own creativity. My work policy is (and, yes, I still have to do something to generate some revenue to finance my life) to look for and accept assignments that A. are interesting and appear to be fun, B. involve people I’m going to enjoy working with, C. pay enough to make it worth the time I’ll dedicate to the assignment – but money is not a primary factor and D. to make sure it will not take too much of my priceless time, curtail my freedom and become a burden to me.

I have masses of dreams, some carrying forward since my youthful days, the days when I first became involved in the recording industry and business. Over the past three years of “living free” I’ve been able to spend some time retrospectively evaluating these dreams. I realize, now, that even when I was young I couldn’t have possibly pursued and realized all my dreams. At this stage of life that’s even less possible. So, I’ve narrowed them down to the few things that really mean enough to me that I want to take those memories with me when I die. And, hopefully, I will still do a little more to leave this world a little better then it was when I arrived.

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Are you being true to yourself? Are you living in quiet desperation? Is it finally time for you to pluck your day and not trust that the future will be better? I hope you can find your own path to “living free” and that, maybe, I’ll be a small part of the inspiration to help you on the way.

Enthusiastically,

Ed