There are four things that everyone faces during their
lives. I call them the 4C’s. No one is going to get through this life without
dealing with all four of these circumstances. Some people, primarily the people
with the “glass half empty” attitude, may feel that these four words describing
four types of circumstances, usually interacting with one another, are
negative. However, that’s not a rule or even a good generalization. They may be
and often are very positive. It’s all how you perceive them.
We begin facing challenges as children. They are typically
small challenges, but they prepare us for the bigger challenges life will
present when we become adults. There are commitments. Commitments are necessary
in so many facets of our lives that we often don’t even realize we are making
them. Life is all about choices. Most of us make so many choices each day that,
we again, just make them, like commitments, automatically and, perhaps,
unconsciously. And, finally, there are always consequences. Consequences are
like Newton’s Third Law of Motion, that is, for every action there is an equal
and opposite reaction. Only sometimes the consequences may not be equal and are
either more or less then the expected outcome.
So, how do the 4C’s relate to Living Free? The reality is
that you can’t live free unless you address each of the 4C’s. First, there will
be certain very real challenges to face when deciding to live free. Second,
you’ll need to be committed to living free. You’re either going to live free or
you’re not and the level of commitment you make will determine how free you’ll
ultimately be able to live. Next, difficult choices must be made. If you want
to be free and you’re in deep in debt, for example, you’re going to have to
choose between several possible options to eliminate the debt. Finally,
whatever choices you make will result in some kind of consequences. The outcome
or the consequences should be positive if you faced the challenges, made the
necessary commitments and made good choices.
Challenges
Challenges can range from small life issues to life and
death issues. As a young child a challenge might be learning to feed yourself
or learning to become ambulatory. Both of these challenges will ultimately
result in certain gains in freedom. Without facing the challenges of learning
the skills of putting food in your mouth, you are completely dependent on
someone else to do this for you. When that other person is not there, you will
feel discomfort since you can’t resolve your hunger. The same applies to
walking. As an infant you have no freedom. You must remain wherever you’re
placed until someone else moves you. The challenge is to go from non-ambulatory
to ambulatory. There are a lot of bumps and bruises between those two
circumstances.
Childhood and teenagers face more significant challenges,
again, based on perception. Some examples include learning to deal in a more
competitive environment such as the classroom, athletics, creative pursuits, relationships,
dealing with bullies, facing the first dating situation, facing an adult world
and determining how you will prepare for that world through education, gaining
skills and so on. As you face each of these circumstances, each challenge will
try you more. And, of course, one day, you’ll leave high school, college,
graduate school, professional training, perhaps several of these situations or
others and become an adult.
Adult challenges become even more trying. How will you find
a job, career, business or activity that suits you and meets your needs? When
you meet someone and decide this is the person you want to enter into a
lifetime relationship with, how will you know? What if you make a mistake? You
live 30 miles from where you will earn your income and your conveyance breaks
down. How will you get there and have your conveyance repaired at the same
time. Your partner, spouse, significant other has a life threatening accident
or contracts a life altering medical situation. How will you face the challenge?
All of these are only a small sampling of the plethora of
challenges we have and will continue to face throughout our lives. There is no
escaping them. You, I and everyone else WILL face many significant challenges.
Commitments
Facing and dealing with any kind of challenge, whether you
perceive it as a positive or a negative situation is going to require you to
make commitments. The most frequent commitments you will make will be to
yourself. You must be committed to yourself first before you make any
commitment involving one or more other people. Some tangents of commitment can
include loyalty and dedication. In order to be loyal and/or dedicated to
another person, an employer, a cause, an organization or group or any other
similar situation, you must first make a commitment.
One example is when you join a branch of the military in the
U.S. you will sign a contract and swear under oath to defend your country and
the U.S. Constitution no matter what you are asked to do, including the supreme
sacrifice of your life. This is a REAL commitment. Here are some other
examples. When you accept a job you make a commitment to the employer. When you
get married you make a commitment. When you parent a child you make a
commitment. When you buy a house and take out a mortgage or buy a car and take
out a loan you make a commitment.
Typically, some kind of challenge is present to place you in
a position to make most commitments. But, as I said, the primary commitments
you will make will be to yourself. Are you committed to your own belief systems
and resources to what you are setting out to do? Are committed to a career or
profession? Are you committed to a married life? Are you committed to a family
life? Are you committed to a healthy and fit life? If you haven’t made these
commitments to yourself, first and foremost, you can’t commit to anyone or
anything else.
Choices
Life is all about choices. Do you want a sandwich or a slice
of pizza? Do you want this brand of toothpaste or that brand? Do you want short
hair or long hair? Do you want to dress simply and functionally or do you want
to be a fashion pate? These are simple choices in comparison to others.
An extreme example of a choice might be that you find
yourself in a combat zone in a foxhole with five comrades, the enemy lobs a
hand grenade into the foxhole right next to you. The exploding grenade would
likely kill or severely injure all six occupants of the foxhole. Choice . . .!
Do you jump on the grenade, sacrificing your life to save the lives of the five
comrades or do you yell “Grenade!” and jump out of the foxhole hoping the other
five get out in time?
Obviously, and thankfully, most of us will never be in the
foxhole scenario. However, you make so many choices everyday, many of which are
simply automatic, or perhaps, you’ll term them “reflex actions” like swerving
to miss hitting an animal that appears in front of your car. Yet, that reflex
action still required a split second choice.
Perhaps you have to choose to accept a new job offer or stay
with the job you currently have. A number of years ago I knew a union member in
the broadcast industry who had the responsibility of negotiating a new contract
with the radio station he and his colleagues worked for. In order to present a
contract to the station management that would be favorable to both bargaining
parties he had to eliminate one union staff position. The negotiation was
successful, the contract was signed and he chose to be the member of the staff
to be eliminated.
The list of choices is endless and mostly they are taken for
granted. When a bride and groom stand before the clergyman or the justice of
the peace they are each given a choice to make. Do you take this man/woman to
be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? The choice at that moment – and a choice
can still be made is – yes, I do or no, I don’t. Will you have a huge, gala
event for your wedding costing tens of thousands of dollars? Or, will you have
a small intimate wedding and save the tens of thousands of dollars to use toward
buying a home where you can invite all your friends and family for many gala
events? Choices! Choices! Choices! Life is ALL about choices.
Consequences
Finally, we come to the fourth C, consequences. No matter
what the challenge is. No matter what commitments you make. No matter what you
choose. There will be consequences. Some people automatically assume the word
consequences means a negative result or outcome. However, the definition of the
word consequence does not indicate positive or negative. It simply means the
outcome or the results of a choice. Once again, it’s about perception. Is the
glass half empty or is the glass half full?
No one wants to face negative consequences. Robbing a bank
involves challenges, commitments, choices and, if caught, accepting the
consequences that are not very appealing to most people. That’s probably why
most people who face the challenge of needing money aren’t willing to commit
themselves to and choosing to rob a bank as a way of overcoming the challenge.
On the other side of the coin, though, is the person who faces the challenge of
needing money, makes a commitment to start a small business, does the research
and makes the choices on how to obtain the resources to start the business. In
this scenario, the consequence could very well be a positive outcome through a
successful business venture.
Again, something you enter into after examining the
challenge, making the appropriate commitments and making excellent choices,
could still have a less then positive consequence or even a very negative
consequence. You could have found your soul mate, yet, 5 or 10 years down the
road, one or both of you may reach the conclusion that what seemed so right
back then is far from the reality now. You did everything right to expand your
business and yet, it failed. You brought your children up in a loving, caring
family, gave them every opportunity to have a successful, happy life, even
better then yours – and, yet, one of your offspring becomes an alcoholic, drug
abuser, victim or perpetrator of domestic violence, a convicted felon or any
number of other negative outcomes. Is that your fault? If you carry that burden
on your shoulders you simply don’t have any comprehension of the 4C’s.
Living Free Through The 4C’s
Living Free isn’t about doing everything right or wrong.
Living Free is about first defining what living free really means to you. Then
when life presents you with a challenge you’ll face it through your
self-defined living free filter. You will be committed to yourself and your
living free life. You’ll make choices that will be consistent with your
definition and commitment to living free. The consequences, while never 100%
predictable, should mostly be consistent with your living free lifestyle.
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