What
a man takes in by contemplation, that he pours out in love. -
Meister
Eckhart
Day
24 of this adventure is already coming to an end. Wow! So much has
happened and, yet, it only seems like a few days ago. I spent some of
my time today in contemplation.
This
morning I chatted with my friend Judy before preparing myself to go
to the Winchester Cancer Center to have my daily dose of radiation. I
had a very supportive phone call on my way there from my long-time
friend and client, Dave Yoho. When I arrived, there were two
volunteers, a man and a woman, at the entrance who welcome everyone
and direct them if they are in need of directions.
The
man noticed my Freedom hat and saw my Vietnam Era Veteran pin that I
wear on it. He asked if I was a veteran. I said I was and he thanked
me for my service. He said he had something to give me and he handed
me a card with a poem on it titled “Welcome Heros” and it was
written by a retired Navy Commander. I thanked him and asked if he,
too, was a veteran. He said he was, I thanked him for his service and
asked what branch he served in. It turned out we were both Air Force
veterans. I couldn't chat any longer because my appointed 10:15
appointment was just a couple minutes away.
I
went in and as always, Michelle and Colleen were there awaiting me so
they could get me positioned in my special mold on the radiation
machine table. Then they beamed me up and just 15 minutes later they
released me.
I
checked in with the chemotherapy desk and they had me set to have my
lab work done. A few minute wait and I was in having my vital signs
taken and then my blood was drawn. They then cut me loose and I was
done for the day.
As
I was leaving, I stopped again and spoke for about 10 or 15 minutes,
with David, the Air Force veteran by the door and we had a more in-depth discussion about our short service careers. For some reason,
I've begun to feel much closer to veterans, especially Vietnam or
Vietnam Era veterans. Learning of their experiences and attitudes, now
that 50+ years have passed, seems to have new meaning to me. We said
goodbye and I was on my way walking out to my van.
I
needed to make a Walmart stop to pick up some basic groceries and
staples to have at Judy's house. I was a bit hungry and since there
was a Subway sub shop just inside the door of the Walmart, I treated
myself to a tuna salad sub. I just had a taste for tuna fish today. I
sat at a table where I could people watch. And, this is where I found
myself in some serious contemplation.
Numerous
thoughts were being processed as I sat quietly and observed. Young
and old, firm and infirm, different colors, races and nationalities.
So many thoughts about these individuals passed through my mind as I
quietly observed this cross-section of humanity passing before me,
sort of like a documentary film. I realized, as I have many times
before, that each has a different backstory. Each represents a
different perspective on life.
When
I was finished with my sandwich, that I consumed very slowly, I
thought my contemplative time was over. But, as I obtained a shopping
cart and made my way through the store, I found myself still
fascinated by the people I was encountering in the shopping aisles. I
looked at the items they selected in their shopping carts. Each item
seemed to say something about that person.
I
completed my shopping, checked out, took my bundles to the van and
headed back to Judy's house. She wasn't home. However, I found I was
interestingly fatigued. I cannot be sure if it was caused by the
radiation treatment or by the amount of brain energy (and maybe some
of my heart was involved, too) expended on the contemplation. I took
a rest period for about an hour and a half, something quite rare for
me. Am I changing? Is this new adventure opening my eyes, mind and
heart in ways I hadn't contemplated about myself? I'm a very
pragmatic and critical thinking individual, but this all felt very
different.
I
don't plan to expound on all of what was passing through my mind and
heart at this time. However, sometime in the future, I will, after
more of these contemplative times and experiences are locked in the
memory banks. I don't know if anything profound will come out. One
never knows. I only know that I believe I'm enjoying this
“adventure.” But, should I be?
Live
free and be happy. EH
3 comments:
I have noticed during times of great physical duress the tendency to think deeply about things. New thoughts and aha! moments arrive. There is value to everything under the sun provided the attitude sees it all as part of the grand challenge of life uniquely designed for each us.
Your message is so heart-warming!! Sincere thanks for being so open about your feelings and your new health experiences.
Wishing You Well...
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