The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Bucket List? Really? – September 26, 2019 – Day 26

You know all those things you've always wanted to do? You should go DO THEM. - Anonymous

Today was Day 26 of my “new adventure. It's getting to be pretty routine with my daily 15 minutes of beaming up with my radiation treatments. Believe me, there are a lot of things I'd rather be doing. But, so far, this experience hasn't been as negative as it would seem to be.

Somewhere today I heard or read someone talking about something being a “bucket list item.” Isn't it amazing how the power of suggestion and coining a word or phrase influences an entire culture and society? Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson starred in a movie, created a list of things they each wanted to do before they died and both of their characters in the movie, at the time, were facing imminent death from terminal diseases. So, they took off and started doing all these things on the list they called a “bucket list” from the old idea of “kicking the bucket,” meaning dying.

That term has somehow become embedded in people's minds and vocabularies. But, it really bothers me. I've seen the movie. And, actually, Queen Latifah starred in a movie titled “Last Holiday” in 2006 with a very similar theme. I saw her movie also. Now, here's what bothers me. What is the fascination with making a list because a person is dying? Is the only reason you want to do something interesting, exciting, adventurous, intriguing, educational, historical, etc. is because you're going to die?

Here's a news flash! We're all going to die someday. Here's another thought. If you are making a list of all the things you want to do before you die, you're probably likely to keep putting them off until you know you're dying or you're so old, you don't want to do them anymore... or you can't do them.

How about this radical idea. Why not create a “Life List.” Why not make a list of all the things you want to do while you're alive and are both physically able and not so old and decrepit to do them. Life is for the living. Adventure, intrigue, educational, historical, interesting and exciting things are best enjoyed when you're fully able to appreciate them. Waiting and putting living off until you're dying seems like such a waste of the precious gifts of life and time.

I used to teach a workshop on creating Life Lists. Now, to be honest, there isn't much difference in the physical appearance of a life list as compared to a bucket list. The biggest difference is the name on the top of the page and there is a place for a date to write in when each item is completed. I created a one-page, two-sided form with 50 lines on it. I handed these out to people and said to list 50 things that you want to do FOR YOURSELF. These things had nothing to do with spouses, offspring, siblings, friends or anyone else. That doesn't mean someone else may not be involved when you enjoy some of these items. But, no one else should be considered. These are your dreams.

The majority of people had a hard time coming up with ten items. Virtually no one could come up with 50 in the period of time I gave them, which was significant. The reason for this is because most people have lost their dreams years, even decades ago. They have lost their own individuality. They mainly identify with spouses, partners, family, jobs, social involvements. But, they have sublimated their own dreams so much they can't remember what they were.

Here is the thing about creating a life list, even if you can only come up with ten items, plus or minus a couple. Since you're creating the list while you're LIVING and have Life to look forward to, yet, you can always add new items to the list any time you choose or come up with something new you'd like to do. And, every time you achieve one of the items on the list, you put a date in the date column – and cross the item off the list. That means you can refill that space with a new item. There are no limits.

I don't have a bucket list. Even now when I'm dealing with a disease that has the potential of ending my life, I'm not planning on my life being ended. I'm planning on living and continuing to work on my Life List. Why focus on the negative and the inevitable. The only thing we get to take with us when we eventually do die is our memories. So, why not focus on creating great memories. And, here's another thought. When you have a life list, you actively look for opportunities to experience the items. Then you have the photos to remember the experiences, you date the items and mark them off.

Live free and be happy. EH