Now, there is a 50 cent word and a fairly esoteric subject
for a blog on living free, wouldn't you agree?
Were relationships always as shallow as they are
today? Did men and women cheat more or less in the past and why or why not? How
did historically oppressive religious doctrine impact our modern culture (we
can read about it in the Old and New Testaments and we can observe it in
certain aspects Judaism, Christianity and Muslim culture). How did the drive
for power, success, wealth (greed) and status develop to the point it has
reached in the U.S. culture today? How are they manifest in the variety of
cultures that came to the U.S. melting pot? My questions are endless. My
universe to observe is huge. Where is that darn time machine, anyway?
So, what's my point? Well, another year is winding down as
we have entered December and what has become known as the "holiday
season." This follows our annual Thanksgiving holiday that was preceded
by, yet, another contentious and relatively negative general election that has
left our citizens as divided as they were before the election. Add to this the
ongoing sagas of economic crisis, war, starving people, increasing prices,
well, you get the picture.
One bright spot at this particular time is that energy
prices have been declining and gasoline may actually drop below $3.00/gallon
again. Everyone gets excited when they think that gas will be less than $3.00 a
gallon and rightly so. Actually, I remember paying for gas as low as $.20 per
gallon in 1970 (in 1970 dollars). In fact, when you adjust gas prices for
inflation (current real dollars), it cost $3.57 in 2011, $3.35 in 1919, $2.50
in 1931, but the lowest gas of all times was in 1999 when it was $1.44. So, in
reality, except for a couple dips and a couple spikes, gas has actually
remained very constant for the better part of the last hundred years. So, with
gas looking like it's going to be less than $3.00 a gallon, we have a reason to
be a little giddy.
Reflections
I have been reflecting on many issues (and there are
probably 20 or 30 more I could rattle off, but the number of issues isn't the
point here). The point is that after living more than 6.5 decades on this
planet and, more specifically, in the U.S. it has dawned on me that I have
developed an intensifying interest in history and anthropology. In deed, if I
were granted a "do over" of my life, I think I'd want to become an
anthropologist. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, an anthropologist
is someone who studies the science of human beings; especially : the study of
human beings and their ancestors through time and space and in relation to
physical character, environmental and social relations, and culture.
Whoa, Nellie! Where did that come from? Actually, it's quite
simple. I've, more or less, been a student of people all my life. My interests
were disguised, even from myself, under the various guises of my early
(teenage) interest in becoming a Baptist minister, my higher education as an
educator, my graduate education in the field of television and radio and my
life long career as an entrepreneur/businessman/sales & marketing person. I
can honestly reflect back to my days as a 12 year old independent newspaper
delivery boy with more than 100 customers I served daily, each very different
and individual. I've observed people through my own personal relationships
including my marriages, long-term and short-term romantic, familial and
platonic relationships.
One could, perhaps, suggest that I'm delving into the human
experience a little too deeply. I would agree that for most people, this would
be pretty deep. But, as I observe the human species and the similarities and
differences between cultures, generations and the genders, I'm more and more
fascinated. I've reflected on how I have followed, what is probably considered
pre-determined standards or norms of behavior established over millennia. Some
of these behaviors are based on the most basic and primal animal instincts like
survival, fight or flight, adapting to our surroundings/environment and
procreation. While others are of human origin such as societal conditioning or nurturing.
I would suggest that the saying, "it takes a village to raise a
child," is indicative of this.
There is little question, at least in my mind, that religion
has probably been the most powerful force in societal conditioning. Even before
humans began becoming "civilized" they were in awe of natural events
that were beyond their ability to comprehend. As the small, nomadic hunting and
gathering bands began to create larger groups or tribes, civilizations began
forming. Religions began to appear and identifying deities to explain all of
the natural events and human traits. Eventually, as civilizations developed,
religions evolved and the major religions determined that there was a single,
omnipotent deity that created and controlled the heavens and the Earth. This
made it easier to relate to the masses and to create "laws" or
"codes" to live by, such as The Ten Commandments in the Jewish
religion. The Ten Commandments carried over to Christianity and, while not
spelled out, are basically embraced in the religion of Islam.
Why Anthropology and Why Me?
Okay, so all this is pretty much text book stuff. So, why my
interest in anthropology? Because, as I've been simplifying my own life, to a
very large degree, I've been reflecting on where I began and where I've ended
up. I realize that, for me, all the material aspects of life, the organized
religious of life, the success (work hard) aspects of life, the entertainment
aspects of life and so on were never really fulfilling for me. Now, believe me,
it's way above my "pay grade" to pass judgment on how anyone else
chooses to live their lives. But, observing how others live, why they choose to
live that way and how happy and fulfilled they are or are not, all based on the
anthropological changes in human society and culture, is truly interesting to
me.
While I have never been counted among the super rich or even
the rich, I've lived a good and very comfortable life for the most part. I've
enjoyed being able to dress well, always be well-nourished, live in comfortable,
middle-class homes, drive a variety of vehicles (too many) including quite a
few luxury cars, travel to some other parts of the world and stay in some of
the finest travel accommodations. I've enjoyed my share of toys, too. Simply
stated, I probably number in the small percentage of people in the world that
the huge majority would love to experience what I have experienced. And believe
me, I'm grateful.
But, one day, several years ago, as I was beginning to
realize that I had passed the halfway mark, or, probably, more realistically,
the two-thirds mark of my lifespan, I still hadn't experienced true happiness,
real fulfillment and the ultimate freedom to find it. It was probably a
combination of things that brought me to this realization. Some may term it
wisdom. Perhaps, that is what wisdom is all about. I would see people in the
local Costco Warehouse club walking out the door with massive cart loads of
"stuff." I saw the same thing at the various department stores. I
would see people with watches that cost $5,000 to $10,000 and probably more. I
would see huge houses (affectionately referred to as McMansions) growing up in
sub-divisions all over the U.S. where once upon a time, modest homes would have
been built. There were multiple, expensive cars in the driveways including huge
SUV's, luxury cars, expensive motorcycles and so on.
Now, if these were folks who had worked long and hard at
careers to reach a point where they could afford all this, I wouldn't have
given it a second thought. But, these were young people with young families.
Needless to say, when the financial crisis that crashed down on us about five
years ago began, these were the people in most jeopardy of losing it all.
Ultimately, many of them did and many of those who have hung on are barely
squeaking by.
Can I Live Without This?
A few years before the financial crisis, while I was
witnessing this feeding frenzy for stuff, I came to a conclusion that I could
no longer participate in this, in my opinion, self-indulgent, self-destructive
game. So, when I went to Costco or just about anyplace else, I began asking
myself the simple question, "Can I live without this (whatever it
was)?" Of course I wanted lots of the stuff I saw on TV, in Costco, on
Amazon, Buy.com, the professional audio catalogs, Kohl's Department Store, etc.
But, I was already feeling claustrophobic at the ranch I lived on in the
Shenandoah Valley. I had more clothes then I needed. I had far more shoes than
I actually wore. I had kitchen appliances I seldom, if ever, used. I had two
large TV sets (I was single, living alone). I had a surround sound system I
seldom listened to. Additionally, I had another professional studio monitoring
surround sound system that I never even set up. I had two vehicles, one of
which I seldom ever drove. (Twice in my life, as a single person, I had owned
three and four vehicles at the same time and all the expenses attached to
them).
So that simple question, "Can I live without
this?" became my shopping mantra. That was a huge positive turning point
for me. But, I was now becoming more and more aware of the society and culture
around me. I began seeing how, we, as Americans, were having an impact on the
rest of the world and how that world was now beginning to view America
differently. I looked at businesses, relationships, reality TV shows, brick and
mortar retail marketing, emerging on-line marketing, TV infomercials, the TV
home shopping networks, credit and the various forms it takes, marketing of
high-end items like cars, homes, jewelry, even religion and the list goes on
and on. What I saw was an overindulgent society that had moved far beyond the
point of fulfilling the needs of living comfortably to the insatiable appetite
to acquire just about every "want" that came up spontaneously. Most
of this stuff is nice, but it's also mostly not necessary to live a
comfortable, happy and fulfilled life.
Avoid Pain or Gain Pleasure
Many years ago, in my early years of learning and striving
for success, I did my best to motivate other people to want "success"
and show them how to achieve it. Of course, I learned that you can't motivate
anyone to do anything they don't want to do. I learned that there are only two
things that motivate anyone to do anything. The first motivator is to avoid pain.
The second motivator is to gain pleasure. Whatever you can name, ultimately, at
its most basic core issue, will fall under one of those two primary motivators.
Avoiding pain used to be the stronger of the two motivators. Unfortunately, I
believe those motivators have reversed position over the past decade or so.
Now, it's gain the pleasure and don't worry about paying the piper or we'll
deal with the pain when it comes along. Thus, our huge slide into
over-indulgence.
Overindulgence isn't new. You'll find it in the Old
Testament. You'll see it in the Egyptian, Mesopotamian, Greek, Roman, Chinese
empires and other civilizations and societies. There are always those who will
gain power, wealth, be greedy and overindulgent, most often at the expense of those
less fortunate. In the U.S., supposedly a classless society, we have actually
created more classes. We have the Super Rich, Rich, Criminally Rich, Upper
Middle Class (not quite Rich, but act like they are), Middle Class, Blue-Collar
Middle Class, Entitled (those living off the taxpayers, faith-based
organizations and everybody else they can) and Poor. But, the only group out of
that list who aren't overindulgent are the Poor. They fight, scratch, beg and
do whatever they have to do to simply survive on the most basic and primitive
(for the U.S.) level.
Electronic Snake Oil Salesmen and Saleswomen
Every once in a while I will sit and watch one or the other
of the two major cable-TV home shopping networks, QVC or HSN. I find it amazing
to watch these (mostly) women (since 75% to 80% of their audiences are women)
go on for an hour at a time pitching anti-wrinkle creams, every kind of
imaginable make-up, each better than the next (except they are all better than
each other), perfumes, all kinds of jewelry and baubles and faux diamonds, the
Ah Bra and clothes, clothes, clothes,
clothes. And, of course, every clothing designer is amazing, the most gifted,
etc., etc.
We can't forget the cookware, kitchen gadgets and the most
amazing LED/LCD/3D, huge, flat screen TV's known on the planet - surpassing
even NASA technology. And, of course, we usually get one of the guys selling
the computers or other electronics. They go on and on and on. If you hear the
amazing features and benefits explained once, you hear them described 30
different ways. It dawned on me one day, that this is the replacement for the
traveling snake oil salesman. You have their money in your pocket and they will
do whatever they have to do to get that money in their pockets.
Anthropology and Marketing
Anthropologically speaking, I wonder if women realize that
make-up wasn't worn by proper or virtuous women throughout most of history. It
was the realm of the prostitute and the courtesan who wore make-up and lipstick
to attract "customers" for their services or to keep the aristocracy
or monarch "entertained." Lipstick has some especially significant
meaning, anthropologically. One reference is Desmond Morris's The Naked Ape.
Please, ladies, I'm not calling anyone in our modern culture a prostitute. I'm
simply explaining how all this make-up came to be. In actuality, most make-up
didn't become widely used until the 20th Century and lipstick didn't take its
more utilitarian form until around the mid-1920's. Even into the 1950's it was
considered improper for teenage girls to wear lipstick so they wouldn't be
considered "loose" young women.
Men, of course, have also worn make-up, including some lip
coloration and powdered wigs. And, once again, more men are beginning to wear
make-up and hair coloring to retain their youthful attractiveness. Both men and
women are wearing modern girdles only they are made of spandex and they're
called body shapers. The problem as I see it is that when the mature woman
takes off her Ahh Bra or push-up bra and the guy takes off his body shaper -
reality sets in, her boobs drop and his stomach falls out. The solution is
simple, be sure to buy special lighting and special mirrors for the bedroom
that help mask reality with shadows and whatever you do, don't go to a motel or
hotel. It's the wrong lighting.
Yes, I'm making fun of humanity. Hey, I'm one of humanity. I
don't wear a male body shaper and I don't care what kind of bra a woman wears.
I live in the real world, not one of smoke and mirrors. I'm attracted to a woman
because of WHO she is, not because of how perfect her body appears to be. I
hope a woman who is attracted to me is similarly attracted to WHO I am. Again,
much of the use of body shapers, make-up, "sexy" clothing and an
obsession with looking 25 when you're 65 is what keeps the department stores,
TV shopping networks, infomercials, men's and women's glamour magazines, etc.
in business. This is where my growing interest in anthropology is founded.
1 comment:
Love reading all your posts! I just found your blog recently as well as http://cheaprvlivingblog.com/ . You and people like you have found the true meaning of life in its simplicity and experiences and not in its material trappings.
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