Sunday, January 23, 2022

If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me!

If you've never heard of this short sentence made up entirely of two letter words, it's time you did.

Over the past few weeks I've been talking about “New Beginnings” and how I'm going through this challenging phase of my life. Everyone either has, is or will go through some very difficult times. Unfortunately, some of these events and experiences are going to be traumatic.

Someone once asked Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, the author of The Power of Positive Thinking, if there were any people who didn't face problems. He said, and I paraphrase, he knew of a place where there were a lot of people who didn't have problems. Let me take you there. So, the person went with Dr. Peale who led him to a cemetery. The person at first was stunned and then thought he was making fun of him. Dr. Peale assured him he was serious, none of the people in that cemetery or any other cemetery had any problems. The only people who have no problems reside in graves. So, if you don't want to join these people, you better get down on your knees and pray for God to give you problems.

We start having problems when we are small children. Our parents help us learn to cope with and solve our small problems. As we get older the problems get more difficult. And, of course, when we become adults, we have to deal with problems and situations that often seem insurmountable. Everybody has problems of one kind or another. I won't bore you with a list of the many kinds of problems we all face during our lifetimes. It's also said that God, or the Universe or life won't give you any problems that you can't handle. That doesn't mean they will be easy. It just means it's up to us to resolve the problems.

If it is to be, it is up to me! This is one of the situations that sentence applies to each of our lives. We can't expect someone else to solve all our problems. We can't expect to sweep them under the carpet and they'll go away. They may be hidden for a while, but sooner or later they'll return to the light of day.

Each of us will face a new boogieman from time to time. Interestingly, the more responsibility we shoulder, the more problems we will face and have to solve. It doesn't seem fair, does it? Well, I hope by now you've come to realize that life isn't fair. Oh, life can be grand. Life can provide joy and happiness. Life can provide a comfortable life. But, life is never going to be fair. There is always a curve ball that life has in reserve for us. And, here's what makes it even less fair. Life never throws that curve ball when you're expecting it or when it's convenient or when it won't disrupt what may be a joyous and happy time.

Everything we want out of life is pretty much available to us. But, there are no free lunches. There is always a price or consequence. Newton's third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. However, in many life situations, the reaction is not necessarily going to be equal. It could be greater or it could be lesser. That's just the way it works. These are natural laws.

But, we can have a lot more control over both the actions and the reactions if we simply apply the sentence made up of two letter words. If it is to be, it is up to me! If we make a decision or a choice to do something or acquire something, it is up to you to make it happen. There will be some kind of price or consequence attached to whatever it is. Then to make whatever it is a reality, it's up to you to make that happen. You have to pay the price or handle the consequence.

Some of us are going to have to face and deal with medical issues. Others will have relationship problems. Still other's will suddenly and unexpectedly lose loved ones. Through no action or choices of our own, a pandemic, as we are currently experiencing, may grip the entire world and cause us to lose our jobs, careers and even businesses. We may find ourselves facing financial catastrophe and bankruptcy. A natural disaster such as a wildfire, tornado, hurricane, earthquake, volcanic eruption, etc. could befall us causing us to lose everything we own and cherish. We can hope others will reach out to us and give us a hand up. However, that doesn't always happen and in many cases, can't happen. So, once again, to solve the situation or problem or trauma, if it is to be, it is up to me.

I've described my recent medical crisis, so I'll not go into it again. However, while this medical crisis was, in my current thinking, the worst, hardest, most traumatic, most challenging things that has ever happened to me in my life, it was not a singular problem for me. I have a list of problems and traumas as long as my arm that have befallen me and I've had to face throughout my life. Quite honestly, there were times when I thought things were so bad I just wanted to hang it up and “check out.” I was through with living. Life just wasn't fair. And, you bet I was feeling sorry for myself. Many times I felt like whatever the problem was, it was the worst possible thing that could happen.

But, guess what? If I raised my head out of my own personal “pity party,” I'd find people who were dealing with problems and traumas that made mine look pale in comparison. When I was able to, I'd often do what I could to help, support, assist someone else to get through their situation. But, ultimately, I couldn't help anyone else overcome their problem unless they realized that, ultimately, if it is to be, it is up to me – meaning that individual, of course.

I've been talking about New Beginnings and how I believe my new beginning is to start creating a new book series about New Beginnings to help, inspire, encourage and support, initially, cancer survivors and Stage 3 and Stage 4 terminal cancer patients facing a terminal death sentence. I have spent a lot of time over the past couple weeks researching, inquiring, lining up, examining possible routes for making this into a reality. On the one hand, what I've found is that I may actually be dealing with an “impossible dream.” However, on the other hand, it's only impossible if I don't find a way to make it possible. As I've been researching and contemplating and soliciting input and feedback from a variety of people, I realize that this NEEDS to become a possible dream.

No! Not for my personal ego fulfillment. Sure! I'll feel good if I find a way (with other people's help) to make this happen. But, more importantly, it can help thousands, and maybe, eventually, millions of other people who are going through, not only life threatening cancer challenges, but all kinds of other life challenges and traumas. They are happening every single day all around us. So, if I want to make my New Beginnings impossible dream a possible dream, “If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me!”

Live free and be happy, EH 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks Ed, I needed to read this today. It helps me a lot and I appreciate your time. All the best, Henry