Keep The Faith

This post is going to be a little different than my typical articles. A few days ago a friend of mine sent me an email with a video attached to it. It was titled Keep The Faith. I personally don't recognize the man telling the story. If someone does, I'd appreciate you filling me in and letting me know.

The story moved me. I took me back to a time when I was in my mid 20s and had completed four years of college and a bachelors degree and an additional year of graduate school and had earned a masters degree. I was a young business man and I was going through another life change as I entered the service to our country to serve in the U.S. Air Force during the Vietnam War Era. So, while the presenter of this story is, obviously, younger than me, which you'll pick up on as he relates the story, I relate to what he is saying because I had experienced the attitudes that he relates.

There's not much else to say because I don't want to steal the presenter's thunder. But, those of you of a certain age (mostly from the Greatest Generation, the Silent Generation, the Baby Boomer Generation and the very early Generation X) will be able to relate to this. You will likely remember when this was pretty much the overall attitude in the U.S. regardless of what part of the country you were from. For those of you who are younger than the group I just described, this is the way our country once was. It certainly wasn't perfect. But, it was a lot better, in my mind, than much of what we're witnessing and experiencing in all sectors of our society.

If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me!

If you've never heard of this short sentence made up entirely of two letter words, it's time you did.

Over the past few weeks I've been talking about “New Beginnings” and how I'm going through this challenging phase of my life. Everyone either has, is or will go through some very difficult times. Unfortunately, some of these events and experiences are going to be traumatic.

Someone once asked Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, the author of The Power of Positive Thinking, if there were any people who didn't face problems. He said, and I paraphrase, he knew of a place where there were a lot of people who didn't have problems. Let me take you there. So, the person went with Dr. Peale who led him to a cemetery. The person at first was stunned and then thought he was making fun of him. Dr. Peale assured him he was serious, none of the people in that cemetery or any other cemetery had any problems. The only people who have no problems reside in graves. So, if you don't want to join these people, you better get down on your knees and pray for God to give you problems.

We start having problems when we are small children. Our parents help us learn to cope with and solve our small problems. As we get older the problems get more difficult. And, of course, when we become adults, we have to deal with problems and situations that often seem insurmountable. Everybody has problems of one kind or another. I won't bore you with a list of the many kinds of problems we all face during our lifetimes. It's also said that God, or the Universe or life won't give you any problems that you can't handle. That doesn't mean they will be easy. It just means it's up to us to resolve the problems.

New Beginnings – 2022 – Part 3

Three weeks and three new articles. I'm patting myself on the back! I hope I'm back on line again.

This is going to be a short article today. Winter has set in here in the area of West Virginia known as the Potomac Highlands. It's where I've been staying with a friend while I've been recovering from my bout with cancer. I'm very lucky to have terrific and very supportive friends in various places and, certainly, my friend Carolyn has gone way above the call to help me.

It's snowing quite hard here today and into about midday tomorrow. It's quite cold with the current temperature registering at 16 degrees and an estimated accumulation of snow between 9” to 12” and possibly as much as 18.” I grew up in northern New Jersey and we had some cold temperatures and significant snow accumulations there when I was a kid. And, then I lived in Syracuse, NY and I have to be honest, snow, lots and lots of snow was a way of life along with sub-0 temperatures. We had some serious winters when I lived in the Washington, DC area and for the ten years I lived in Annapolis, MD. About every five years or so, we would have a very serious winter in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia when I lived outside Winchester. But, while some of my friends look forward to winter and snow, I have experienced probably about 30 blizzards during my life and frankly, I'd much rather see the snow from a distance along with the cold temperatures. I'm perfectly content to watch snow in TV shows or in movies. I don't need to experience it in person any longer.

Part of my New Beginnings is to start researching and searching for a new region to base my operations from and I'd like it to be a location with a moderate or temperate climate. So, I've been looking at places around the U.S. during the last several years I was traveling, prior to being inconveniently stopped from my travels by my cancer challenge. But, I'll be looking again for the right place once I can get back on the road.

New Beginnings – 2022 – Part 2

This is my second article of 2022 and you'll notice it has the same title as the first article, except I extended it as Part 2. I've been thinking, researching and contemplating this entire past week about what I said last week. Something sparked in my mind and heart about my thoughts and feelings. But, to start things off, let me give you a long quote I discovered during my research.

When someone you love dies, you are given the gift of "second chances". Their eulogy is a reminder that the living can turn their lives around at any point. You’re not bound by the past; that is who you used to be. You’re reminded that your feelings are not who you are, but how you felt at that moment. Your bad choices defined you yesterday, but they are not who you are today. Your future doesn’t have to travel the same path with the same people. You can start over. You don’t have to apologize to people that won’t listen. You don’t have to justify your feelings or actions, during a difficult time in your life. You don’t have to put up with people that are insecure and want you to fail. All you have to do is walk forward with a positive outlook, and trust that God has a plan that is greater than the sorrow you left behind. The people of quality that were meant to be in your life won’t need you to explain the beauty of your heart. They already understand what being human is----a roller coaster ride of emotions during rainstorms and sunshine, sprinkled with moments when you can almost reach the stars.

― Shannon L. Alder

Substitute the first and second sentence with, When you die and are reborn, you are given the gift of new beginnings. Your eulogy is a reminder that the living (you in your rebirth), can turn your life around at any point. With those two changed sentences, this quote is exactly what I'm feeling as I leave the past behind after being stricken down by my cancer experience and the ensuing battle. I don't know if I can describe what happened the morning of August 18, 2019 as having experienced death and coming back. I know there is a short period of time that I have no recollection of. I don't know if it was seconds or minutes. I don't recall seeing my life pass before me. I don't recall seeing a long tunnel with a white light at the end. I just don't remember anything for that brief period of time. And, of course, I was completely disoriented when I regained consciousness or grasped life again, whichever the case may have been.

What I do know is that a lot of things changed. To be perfectly honest, if friends, family, business associates or new people see me today, the only thing they will likely notice is that I'm slimmer because I lost about 20% of my weight (and, unfortunately, muscle mass). Otherwise, externally, there is little about the changes I described in the previous article that one can see. The voice I've used to speak and to provide voice-overs for numerous clients is still the same. I still have the knowledge, creativity, any talent I may have been blessed with and the skills I've learned and honed through over 60 years of adolescent and adult experiences. For all practical intents and purposes, externally and experientially, I'm still me. But, as I described, there is a new persona residing inside this older and, now, somewhat modified body.

New Beginnings – 2022

I'm writing this on January 1, 2022. As you can see, if you look at my last blog article, this is my first new article in a year. The year 2021 was very similar to 2020. They were both years that weren't. I mean, for me, they weren't noteworthy. Many things happened during 2021, but from my perspective, they were mainly negative things. But, I really don't want to focus and dwell on the negative. A few years ago, after writing this blog for about ten years, I began facing writers block. My articles became fewer and far between. I picked up again for a short time in 2019 when I was stricken down with my battle with cancer and I wrote almost daily for a few months about my experiences.

Let me be clear, I'm 76 years old. I'll be 77 years old in a few months. I try to not dwell on my age, however, due to many things that have occurred over the past couple of years, most notably, my battle and, so far, my victory over a near fatal bout with a pretty rare form of cancer, I have begun to accept my aging reality. You may have heard older people express the aging process as experiencing all kinds of aches, pains, physical changes, lower levels of energy and stamina. But, at the same time, they say their minds are acting like they are still in their 30s or 40s. I can relate to that.

However, some of us are dealt a variety of challenges. Some of those challenges result with life ending. During the past couple of years I've lost at least 12 friends from various facets of my life. Some of these friends were considerably older than me. Some were around my age. Still others were younger than me. Meanwhile, some of us survive after being dealt strokes, heart attacks, hip, knee and other joint replacements. Others have to deal with issues like diabetes, MS, Lupis, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and other chronic and autoimmune diseases. And, some, like me, must face the “Big C,” cancers of all kinds. I'm actually a two time cancer survivor, but I'm still going. In many cases, probably most cases, these medical issues are surprises. They blind-side us and, like it or not, we must deal with them.

Happy Anniversary . . . to ME!

Anniversaries are like birthdays: occasions to celebrate and to think ahead, usually among friends with whom one shares not only the past but also the future. Zbigniew Brzezinski

Today is the one year anniversary of the beginning of a new life for me. On August 18, 2019, a Sunday morning, without any warning, a fireball of cancer came out of the universe and struck me down. There were no serious symptoms or anything that would have given me an inkling of what was to befall me and how my life would be forever changed.

I was having a normal morning. I was a bit fatigued, but that was about all. I took care of my normal, very regular routine “business.” Everything was fine. I then went for a morning walk, another part of my daily routine. I believe I got about a mile and a half in. But, when I returned to my friend's, Carolyn's, house, I felt pretty wiped out. That wasn't normal. But, I still had no idea there was anything seriously wrong.

Well, within an hour or so, I was unconscious, on the floor. The first time I had any recollection of what had happened was when I started to regain consciousness and I was on my bed. I have no idea of any details of my collapse or the actual amount of time. It might have been seconds or minutes. I'd never experienced anything like this before in my 74+ years of life. Carolyn and her grandson were hovering over me trying to help me regain consciousness and comprehend what was happening.

Chris, Carolyn's grandson, a professional EMT who just happened to be visiting his grandmother that weekend, had either seen me collapse or found me in a pile on the floor. He managed to get me back on my bed that I had fallen next to or at the foot of. Carolyn was checking my blood pressure and heart rate – which, according to clinical standards put me in the category of being dead, which is what I probably would have been if Chris hadn't found me and called for Carolyn. Carolyn started putting glucose under my tongue to get my blood sugar up.

Chris called the local EMT's who arrived within minutes along with a medic shortly thereafter. Once they assessed the situation and got me stabilized, they moved me to a gurney, out the door and into the waiting ambulance. A short, but rapid trip (maybe five minutes) with the lights flashing and siren wailing and I was being rolled into the Emergency Room of the local, small, West Virginia University-affiliated hospital. (Continue reading the rest of the article on the blog.)

When Is Enough . . . Enough?

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU WANT TO OBJECT TO MY POLITICALLY INCORRECT VIEWS AND OPINIONS AND MAKES COMMENTS. I DON'T WANT YOU TO COMMENT EVEN IF YOU AGREE WITH MY VIEWS AND OPINIONS, EITHER. THIS IS MY FORUM. I WILL DELETE ANY AND ALL COMMENTS AT MY DISCRETION. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, POST IT ON YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE, BLOG OR SEND IT TO ME IN AN EMAIL. I'LL READ IT THERE. BE SURE TO NOTIFY ME. I AM EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS, VIEWS AND OPINIONS BASED ON MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS – UNTIL I AM TAKEN AWAY IN HANDCUFFS AND LEG IRONS AND THROWN INTO SOME GULAG FOR NOT BOWING TO THE RADICAL EVENTS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY CURRENTLY!!!

I'm sending you a link to a statement presented in (what I believe to be) a rational, articulate, not emotionally charged, thoughtful manner by someone who genuinely sounds concerned about the country he loves and has served on two levels of public service. Here is the link:

https://www.facebook.com/newsbusters/videos/1191577801203867

I don't usually circulate things of this nature. I sent one to a few people the other day that was emotionally charged because it moved me. I'm sending this one because it not only moved me, but because I've been asking the same questions this man addresses. I tend to identify more as a conservative, but a moderate conservative. I'm far from a radical or extreme conservative.

When is enough... enough? This is no longer a peaceful protest. It has spread to over 650 US cities. Billions of dollars of destruction and looted merchandise, businesses have been lost, personal property destroyed, innocent people seriously injured and already there are deaths of innocent people as well as perpetrators of this “civil war.” Public property and infrastructure owned by ALL the citizens have been destroyed or occupied. Fortresses/strongholds have been created in the city streets of several cities (and if this keeps on, I expect there to be more situations like this across the country). This has been going on for five weeks at the time of this writing. To my knowledge, it's the longest and most widespread, prolonged event of its kind in the history of the United States. This is no longer a peaceful protest to affect change in the justice system. Sadly, I say this has become a civil war backed by people, frankly, who I believe don't give a damn about African-Americans or anyone else other than their own self-serving interests and agendas.

New Lease on Life . . .

First, let me thank everyone who has been concerned about my cancer issue and my recovery. Your notes, positive thoughts and prayers have been so much appreciated and they certainly contributed to me keeping a positive attitude through this “journey” and maintaining my sense of humor. This, in no small part, has contributed to my above-average recovery process.

I received a comment yesterday from one of you loyal blog readers asking where in the world I am and how am I doing. The reader said it's been 5 months since my last post. It's actually 4 1/2 months or 130 days. Add that to the 113 days at my last post and it totals 243 days or exactly 2/3 of a year since the “fireball” struck me on August 18, 2019.

So much has happened since that time. I underwent chemotherapy and radiation. After a short recovery period, I underwent major surgery (only 10 hours in the operating room) on January 3, 2020. That was followed by a total of 12 more days in the hospital and then five weeks in a rehabilitation/skilled nursing facility. I got out of rehab on February 21, 2020, and, within just a couple of weeks the COVID 19 shelter-in-place, stores, gyms, etc. lock-down went into effect. I've been hunkered down at my friend's house in north-central WV in a small rural town. She has been fantastic. I've only been out of this area a few times since then mainly for follow-up doctor appointments.

By the way, the photo of me is very recent. My New Zealand buddy has made me an official “Goodwill Ambassador.” You'll also note I'm now wearing a U.S. Air Force veteran cap to share my pride as a veteran with my comrades. I have a pin to recognize prostate cancer survivors (of which I'm one). I also have my American flag pin and my Vietnam Era Veteran pin on the cap. Soon I'll be adding pins to recognize survivors of stomach and esophageal cancer as well.

GREETINGS OF THE SEASON and Some Other IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Thanks for visiting my blog page and . . . today is Day #113 of my adventure . . . 

Greetings of the Season!

Merry Christmas, if that is how you celebrate this season.

And greetings to you if you celebrate this holiday time of the year in some other meaningful way.

And, I also want to wish you a Happy, Healthy and Abundant 2020. I hope the new year fulfills all your expectations.

Now, I'm going to let you all in on something I've kept pretty much undercover for the past four months. Only a very few folks know about what I'm going to reveal.

As you have probably noticed, I have been pretty quiet during this period. I have not been traveling as I normally would be. I have not been posting on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, PM or email. I did actively post on my blog, but that was about it.

I have not made this information public because, frankly, there are so many other individuals I know who have been experiencing their own challenges, especially medical challenges. However, in less than two weeks I'll be undergoing something that I feel extremely confident I'll pull through without any question in my mind. Unfortunately, it is very serious and, as we all know, there are no guarantees in life.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Better and Better – November 22, 2019 – Day 83

I believe it is in my nature to dance by virtue of the beat of my heart, the pulse of my blood and the music in my mind. - Robert Fulghum

It is now Day #83. My thought to ponder today is from one of my favorite authors, Robert Fulghum. There is some powerful vision in his words. I believe this is or should be true for everyone. Unfortunately, I believe most people get lost in the stress, complexity and trivia of day to day life in our 21^st Century society.

Yes! I said I was going to write a day by day journal of my “adventure.” But, you know the old saying, “the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” Those words were penned by Robert Burns. Here is the reality. At this stage of my adventure, there are often days that go by and nothing of consequence or interest occurs. It is actually quite tiring for me to have to think up something to say. So, am I really saying anything of value or just using up words?

So, here are some things of note. Nothing much on Days 72 & 73. On Day 74, November 13^th, I had three medical appointments.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Yikes! My Own Words – November 10, 2019 – Day 71

“People have lost their dreams years, even decades, ago. They have lost their own individuality. They mainly identify with spouses, partners, family, jobs, social involvements. But, they have sublimated their own dreams so much they can no longer remember what they were.” - Ed Helvey

You read that right, that's a quote from me. Here it is, Day 71, Sunday November 10^th (the day before Veterans Day) and I received an email from one of my long-time followers of this blog, Richard Rosen in Florida. Wow! As I read my own words, they seemed to be particularly meaningful today. No! Not because I wrote them, but because, as I deal with my cancer adventure, I need them to bolster myself up.

So, today, I start off with my own quote. Below, I'm going to list a number of other quotes from other “dreamers.” The intent? Simple! To inspire and encourage you to reach for those dreams that have been gathering dust in the far reaches of your memory.

But, first, here is a brief update on the past few days, Day 69, Friday and Day 70, Saturday as well as today. Eating and drinking, while still a bit challenging, has been pretty good and I've been enjoying the flavors and textures of the various foods and liquids I've indulged in over the past three days. I even had pepperoni pizza last night and polished off the cold leftovers today. I've been enjoying orange and grapefruit juice, two of the many juices I like.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – What a Difference a Day or Two Make – November 7, 2019 – Day 66

I learned to take those experiences that were difficult in my life and in the adversity that I had overcome to use it for a positive change. - Dominique Moceanu

So, today is Day 68 of this “adventure.” It was actually a very good day. Yesterday, Wednesday and Day 67 was a good day, too, but today was better. There seems to be a trend going on here.

Meet my buddy, Bella. I'm not a cat person, but Bella has adopted me. She is cross between a feline and a canine. That is, she is a cat, but she has certain attributes we normally associate with dogs. She will come in, play “high 5” with me, very gently reach up and touch my face, nuzzle me to pet her and then she'll curl up and make herself at home as you see her in this photo. She can be feisty with other cats and is generally a loner. But, she does bring me some comfort.

Now, let's get back to the “adventure.” Eating improved slightly yesterday along with drinking. I still dealt with the massive fatigue and low energy problem. I had about my typical 4 hours of low energy productivity throughout the day with lots of resting and napping. But, I actually accomplished a few things.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Things Are Improving – November 5, 2019 – Day 66

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today is Day 66, Tuesday. Time just seems to be passing, but as Emerson suggests patience is the key here. So, four days have passed since my last article. But, there has been some positive change occurring.

Day 63, Saturday, was basically another day like the other days of the preceding week. Massive fatigue, no energy and still no ability to swallow food or liquids. I was continuing to lose weight. I attempted to be a little productive, but I don't feel like I was. However, even though I'm dealing with some “brain fog,” probably caused, at least partially, by not getting enough protein or carbs, I did come to the realization that I had to find a way to stop this downward slide.

So, Day 64, Sunday, I reviewed the comprehensive printed information I was given and the in-depth conversation I had with the Cancer Center nutritionist. I decided to make a shopping list of foods that would work with the exact circumstance I found myself in. It was a long list and even included a couple things that might be considered “junk food,” but they were highly caloric and I need calories.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Where Has Time Gone? – November 1, 2019 – Day 62

I am grateful for all the moments that I have, and I'm moving forward one step at a time to the future. - Park Bo-gum

Seven days have passed since my last article post here on the blog. Several people have wondered what happened to me. I'm here. But, at the same time, I have the feeling I'm not here.

Exactly a week ago today I had my last radiation and my last chemotherapy treatment. I had a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. I managed to get through approximately two months having my innards burned and having toxic fluids forced through my veins to attack a mass that had invaded my body and had the potential of ending my life prematurely. Now, to be honest, that possibility still exists. However, to this date, I have not received any indication that I have a “death sentence in the near future. I remain on my 46-year plan.

That being said, both my radiation and my chemotherapy doctors, who I met with the Wednesday before my last treatments, warned me that this period of recovery right after treatments ended, could be worse than anything I had experienced until then. As much as I hate to admit it, their prediction was accurate. So, here is a capsule of what has transpired since last Friday.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – IT IS DONE! – October 25, 2019 – Day 55

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen. - Deep Roy

Today I was there on time and ready for my LAST radiation treatment and my LAST chemotherapy treatment. Both were routine. When I completed my radiation treatment I was presented with a Graduation Certificate – nice touch.

I moved all my stuff to Carolyn's car and we drove back to her place in West Virginia. I bid Judy goodbye this morning before she had to leave for a day-long commitment she had. I thanked her for all she has done to make this experience so much easier for both, Carolyn and me, by not having to drive about 140 miles round trip over the 7 mountains and 7 valleys five days a week. My McVansion is still parked in front of Judy's house and she leaves on Sunday to travel to Alabama to spend some time with her dying sister.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – ONE More Day – October 24, 2019 – Day 54

The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do. - Kobe Bryant

ONE MORE DAY!
ONE MORE DAY!

ONE MORE DAY!

I can't wait for tomorrow afternoon when I'll be through with radiation and chemotherapy.

Not much to report! I finally found a deal on a new Lenovo ThinkPad T470 laptop computer and made the deal today. It's being assembled at the factory and should reach me by next Tuesday or Wednesday. It's time to retire my very reliable but very slow running and tired Lenovo ThinkPad T420s. I'll likely put a small SSD drive in it, reinitiate it and keep it as a backup.

Live free and be happy. EH

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Two More Days – October 23, 2019 – Day 53

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. - Dalai Lama

Just TWO MORE DAYS of radiation and one more of chemotherapy. If you've ever been through this regimen of treatment, you know just how significant those three words are.

This will, again, be a short post. It was actually a very positive, no, make that a very, extremely positive day today. In addition to having my radiation treatment, they also did my lab work today, a day earlier than normal. They did the lab work because I had two doctors' appointments today. One was with my radiation doctor. The second one was with my medical oncologist (chemotherapy). They wanted the lab work for the second appointment.

I'll be honest, I'm totally wiped out and have been since I arrived back at Judy's about 12:15 PM today. So, I'll save all the details of the two appointments for another day when I have some energy to think and write. However, I will say this much. Both doctors effectively gave me A++++ reports. I walked out today feeling very positive.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Three More Days – October 22, 2019 – Day 52

Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. - Khalil Gibran

Today the post is really short. THREE MORE DAYS!

That's about it. I started to let more of the outside world know about what's happened to me. I'm finally comfortable doing that as I wind down this really fatiguing protocol of radiation and chemotherapy.

I'm amazed I can still drive myself over to the cancer center and back to Judy's. Home plate is in sight and I'm preparing to slide in on Friday. Not much more to report today other than I actually got a few things accomplished. Hooray.

Live free and be happy. EH

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Four More Days – October 21, 2019 – Day 51

Virtually nothing is impossible in this world if you just put your mind to it and maintain a positive attitude. - Lou Holtz

Four more days to go. All I'm focused on now is counting these days down until Friday, October 25^th when I will have my last radiation treatment and my last chemo treatment. Just four more days.

I'll be honest. I was not looking forward to driving over the 7 mountains and through the 7 valleys again this morning to arrive in Winchester at the cancer center for my 10:15 radiation appointment. And, I didn't enjoy it. But, thankfully, Carolyn has been maintaining a very positive and supportive attitude.

We actually arrived about 20 minutes early for my appointment – and a very positive thing happened. The radiation techs, Colleen and Allison (Michelle wasn't there this morning) called me in for my treatment 15 minutes early. So, instead of going in at 10:15, I actually was done and walking out the door at 10:15.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life – Another Nothing Day – October 20, 2019 – Day 50

You can do everything you can to try to stop bad things from happening to you, but eventually things will happen, so the best prevention is a positive attitude. - Marie Osmond

I found that today, Day #50, was almost a carbon copy of yesterday. No energy and no real motivation.

That being said, I actually did get a few simple things done and some research done as well. While I continue to work on keeping my attitude positive, I'm finding it somewhat demoralizing to realize there is so much I want to do and I have the resources at my fingertips to do it, but I just can't muster the motivation.

I'm also facing the fact that tomorrow morning I have that long (and it seems to get longer every week) drive over the 7 mountains and through the 7 valleys back to Winchester to be there in time for my 10:15 AM radiation treatment. That's a reality. But, another reality is that at 10:30 AM tomorrow morning I'll only have four more treatments left.