I Know It! I Hear It! I Got It! – The Three Halves of Life Growth

It is my belief there are three phases of life we progress through. I often refer to myself being in the third half of my life. I don't recall where I picked up that odd idea of a third half. I did actually pass elementary school arithmetic and know a whole is divided into thirds and there is no such things as 3 halves in a whole, but bear with me.

Let's do some “new math” (remember that craziness from back in the 50's and 60's) and say that a life span is 90 years (more and more people are living into their 90's). Let's further say that the major portion of our growing and productive life is 60 of those 90 years. So, let's call that our “whole life” which means that the first half is 30 years and the second half is the other 30 years equaling 60 years. Are you keeping up with me?

Work . . . W-O-R-K!

(Note: I began this post on Monday, thought I'd finish it on Tuesday before I was to leave on Wednesday morning, but here it is, Thursday and I'm now in a guest room at the Allenberry Resort Inn and Playhouse in Boiling Springs, Pennsylvania where I'll finish it and post it. This is the location for the annual Veteran Speakers Retreat that I've now hosted for the past 12 years including this year. This is my last year hosting the event as I turn the reins over to members of the dedicated planning committee who have backed me for the past 12 years. But, just like Johnny Carson, of the "Tonight Show" fame, you just know when it's time . . . and it is time.)

One of my favorite TV characters was a beatnik by the name of Maynard G. Krebs. Maynard G. Krebs was the sidekick of one Dobie Gillis, played by Dwayne Hickman on a the TV show titled . . . "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis," aka, just "Dobie Gillis." Krebs was played by Bob Denver who reappeared a number of years later as the first mate on the schooner, S.S. Minnow on another TV show called "Gilligan's Island." But, the

Maynard G. Krebs, the beatnik, was allergic to work. Whenever anyone mentioned the word work, Maynard would shriek the word . . . W-O-R-K! I guess that was my first real exposure to the concept of an anti-work ethic. I, like many Greatest Generation folks (which I just barely qualify for, having been born in 1945 - if I had been born in 1946 I'd be a Baby Boomer) and certainly the majority of Baby Boomers, was raised with a strong work ethic. I began my business life at 12 as an independent paper boy with one of the largest paper routes at my newspaper.

So, after being a lifelong entrepreneur and displaying my work ethic for over 50 years, I, for some reason think back to that time, to that TV show and realize that, maybe, Maynard really had a point. Think about it. How many people do you know who are doing unfulfilling work? How many refer to their jobs as the "salt mine" or the "old grind?" How many refer to their "9 to 5?" How many do you hear talking about "putting in their 40 years" like it's a sentence? (Actually, it may be a life sentence, when you think about it except one makes a bit more than a few cents an hour and doesn't necessarily make stones out of big rocks . . . or do they?)

So, here's the thing. We know there are no real "free lunches." There is a price for everything, right? But, why does work have to be, well . . . W-O-R-K? Sure, since Adam and Eve (you determine how you wish to define this concept), I mean, since animal life forms in whatever shape or species made their debut on this planet, there has been a need to "make a living." In the most primitive form, it means going out on the hunt and "bringing home the bacon," so to speak. That really is the most basic definition of work. Doing what you have to do to survive. It could be as a carnivorous predator fresh meat or as a gatherer seeking the manna that has been provided as part of natures wonderful food chain. But, you had to be proactive to catch and kill your food or find and pick your vegetables and fruit.

This is a point where I could move off in a tangent about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, but I've discussed that before in this blog, so I'm not going back there. But, ponder this thought from Maslow about the human species, "The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short." Have humans always sold themselves short and, even more importantly, are humans still selling themselves short?

Maslow also said, "I was awfully curious to find out why I didn't go insane." Is it insanity to continue doing what you've always done, but expect a different outcome? Einstein defined that concept as insanity. But, isn't it some form of insanity to keep doing what you've always done knowing that the outcome will be the same? I hear people say, "the harder I work the behinder I get." Or, "I can't stop doing what I'm doing (working at an unfilling job) or I'll lose all this." My questions is, "All what?" Now, we start entering another realm, the realm of values. But, that's also a tangential topic for another time. But, really, is "all this" worth your life? In the criminal realm his or her crime is the criminal's work. A criminal's work may be stealing, conning, pick-pocketing, shop lifting, even murdering for hire, etc. There is a saying, "Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time." But, the majority of law abiding people don't engage in any crime, yet, they condemn themselves to 40 (or more) years of hard labor. They didn't do any crime, but they still do the time.

Complexity Creates Jobs and W-O-R-K!

Okay! So, going back to the "Adam and Eve time," everything was simpler. No computers, tablets, telephones, cellular phones, television, radio, newspapers, books, supermarkets, giant box stores full of more items than one can even conceive of for purposes that Adam and Eve couldn't have even thought about. You know what I mean. Life, as we know it today, is complex. Even some of the most simple and mundane things have become complicated by laws, regulations, rules and so on. Humans with this wonderful ability to think and reason and use logic have taken life from the simple, basic level to an unbelievable extreme. We have created jobs and W-O-R-K!

As infants we enter this world with unlimited creativity, complete innocence (not knowing the difference between good and evil and being neither) and an unlimited potential to soar. Yet! Only a tiny percentage of the billions of infants who have been born ever exercise much or any of this creativity and potential. Even before many children are old enough to enter the formal educational system they have already been indoctrinated into the world of W-O-R-K! That's how I grew up and, that's how I raised my son. But, please! Do not confuse work with being a productive human being. There is a difference and it may be all the difference in the world.

And, let's also not forget that in our current complex society, we NEED the billions of people around the world who work and jobs I would shriek the word W-O-R-K at, like Maynard. But, we have made the world and everything about it so complex that it can't function without all these jobs and people putting in the 9-5's for 40 years. I do not disrespect anyone who chooses to live this kind of lifestyle. Some of us actually create our own "life sentences" and we don't do 9-5's we do 6 (AM) - to 10 (PM's) and we don't do five days, we do six and seven days.

A Life Sentence To Put Bread On The Table

Yes! It's a complex subject and each of us has an opinion about it. Some of us just accept that this is life - period! Just deal with it. Some of us take Maynard G. Kreb's approach to W-O-R-K. Others fall somewhere on a continuum between the two extremes. It's great if we can get past this when we are young and break out of the 40 year life sentence and create a perspective where we fit work into our life and it's something we enjoy and gain personal and psychic fulfillment from. But, some just seems wrong to me when life is focused around the J.O.B. and we have to fit the rest of this short life we are each given as a miraculous gift in around the J.O.B.

My friend's 90 year old mother, born in the early 20's, grew up during the depression, and filled men's jobs during World War II, recently said to me of her late husband, dead for about 25 years now - he worked 45 years in the paper mill. He hated it! But, he knew he had to do it to put the bread on the table. He lived for about 10 years after he retired from that mill. So, out of 75 years of life, he realized about 10 of them to use as he wanted. But, worse yet is that for 45 years he hated what he had to do five days a week, plus an additional three years where his life was on the line as he fought in the Pacific Theater of World War II. Prior to the war he worked and, of course, as a kid growing up, his freedom and choices were limited and controlled by his parents.

I'm not saying that this was a bad life. I'm simply saying that we are given this precious gift and unlimited potential to do and be anything we want to and go anywhere we want to, but we are indoctrinated by a system that holds us back and takes the majority of our life from us in ways that most not only find unfulfilling (other than putting bread on the table), but dislike intensely or hate. Yet, we accept it as our only option and our lot in life.

This subject requires a lot more thinking on my part. I know what I'm feeling. I know my own experience. I know what I've seen others do with their lives. I'm simply pondering what I may be able to do to influence others to consider alternatives to this system. What do you think?

Predictable

What is predictable? People!

You can pretty much count on the predictability of people like you can count on the fact that it will be 12 noon everyday at the same time in whatever time zone you lives. So, what's wrong with being predictable? Actually, in most cases, nothing. We can predict when the sun will rise and fall, the tides will come in and go out, when there will be a new moon, when the seasons will change and how the vast majority of people will live and react to specific situations.

Based on the premise that we can predict how the majority of people will live and react to specific situations, anyone who doesn't fit this pattern is an enigma. It's easy to understand why individuals who "choose" not to adhere to these predictable patterns are considered "non-conformists," "outsiders," and "mavericks." But, are we really all that different?

Well, based on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid, no, we're not. Here is a simple representation of Maslow's pyramid:

 Certainly, at the base of the pyramid all our physiological needs are pretty much the same. But, by the time we move up to the second step of the pyramid there are significant differences that start becoming noticeable. The third step, while it seems that we might all be pretty similar, harbors even more differences. The fourth step opens up more opportunities for differences. And, in my opinion, probably a majority of people never achieve the step of true self-actualization.

Two Fringe Groups

There is the general population in cultures and societies that aligns very closely with the Hierarchy Pyramid. Then, as I see it. there are two fringe groups.

One of the fringe groups is composed of folks I like to refer to as Living Free. It's a very minute percentage of the total population. This living free concept is, of course, the basis for this blog. The unique characteristic about this living free group is that, for the most part, they are non-conformists and mavericks. The only credo is living free and choosing to live differently than the vast majority of the population. Some individuals in the group live this way due to a variety of  unfortunate circumstances. However, like the early hunting and gathering bands, they seek the basics of life and carve out a niche for themselves.

Others in this group are in a position where they could easily choose to live the stereotypical and predominant lifestyle of their culture or society. Perhaps they have already been there and have chosen to abandon that lifestyle for one of personal freedom.

Allow me to make some disclaimers. Some of what I'm saying is broad generalizations. Some of it may be exaggerated for impact. There is no one-size fits all. But, I'm far from a radical political thinker. And, let's not kid ourselves. There is no such thing as total freedom in this world. In some manner we all are influenced and have to bow to "The Man."

However, in a world that has become so complex, expensive, time consuming or, maybe it's better to say, all consuming, this group of individuals choose small, compact, simple and economical lifestyles. Some are embracing a small, but growing movement toward "Tiny Houses." Others are living in rural locations in small cabins or refurbished travel trailers. Still others may have chosen to give up the sticks and bricks homes in the city or suburbs in favor of a nomadic life, like a turtle, with their house on their backs, living full-time in various forms of recreational vehicles, vans or even cars. There are even a few who pack a tent and travel by motorcycle or even walk.

This group of living free, non-conformists, while often envied by the masses who stay in "The System," are probably the least understood. I dare say, this group of people may also be the most content, fulfilled and happiest in the ways that matter most.

The other fringe group is the "Power Class." These are the people who, consciously or sub-consciously, claw, kick and bite their way to the top of the various societal structures purely for the heady feeling of power and/or to achieve great wealth, regardless of the cost. Of course, none of them will ever admit that openly. They want everyone to believe that they are there to "serve" you and me and the "working class." But, don't let that fool you. They are narcissistic power and greed driven, easily corruptible individuals who will use anyone and any means to achieve their own ends. You know who they are. They run our governments, major government agencies, the military, the financial system, the major industrial complex and so on.

Of course, to be fair, there are a few people who are not power hungry, greedy, corruptible narcissists who manage to make it into some of these lofty positions. But, it's interesting how, unfortunately, sooner or later, they seem to fall into the pattern. One recent example is Lance Armstrong. Once a hero, role model and the image of overcoming challenges like his cancer. Today, an admitted cheater, liar, fraud and abuser of anyone who got in his way.

Listen to the President(s), listen to the outgoing Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton when being questioned about her failings and those she led and her leader said of the four Americans murdered in Libya, "Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night who decided they'd go kill some Americans? What difference at this point does it make?" That's pure arrogance from someone supposedly charged with the responsibility for the safety and security of her charges and representing her country, its integrity and its people.

Back to the Predictable - Greece and Spain

So, what does all this have to do with predictability? In a word, everything.

Why am I bringing up Greece and Spain? It's simple, really. People are predictable because they will react in similar fashions in similar situations. Much of Europe has been extremely liberal in government employment. The governments are over employed (too many people to do the job), provide large amounts of vacation, personal time, sick time and other time off, cushy benefits including, universal healthcare, early retirements and large pensions. Additionally, they have required this same thing from private sector jobs, usually through unions.

But, someone has to pay for all this. Their tax structures and revenues didn't bring in enough to cover it all, especially when the Great Recession, spawned by the U.S. economy, impacted them. The result has been that unemployment went up with large numbers of government employees and private sector employees being laid off. Government employees protested in some violent demonstrations when the government said they had to raise the retirement age and apply other necessary changes. The two countries where this has been most prominent have been Greece and Spain, however, Italy, Ireland, France and Belgium joined in.

It's really quite simple. We want everything, don't want to give up anything, BUT don't want to pay any more money in taxes to keep taking. "Don't cut our wages. Don't cut our cushy hours and vacations. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! I don't care how you get the money, that's your problem. Just gimme more." That is the cry of the masses of people who have relinquished their freedom (and don't even realize it) in exchange for security and handouts.

The U.S. is facing precisely the same set of circumstances. Now, the narcissistic leaders in Congress and the White House want the masses to believe they are going to solve the problem by supposedly cutting deficit spending by some minute fraction of the total spending and taxing the wealthiest part of the population. This is pretty much the same thing as you or me wracking up a $100,000 credit card debt and only paying the minimum due on the monthly statement, while continuing to spend at a higher rate each year. It won't work. So, why is it that a simpleton like me, using basic elementary school and high school arithmetic can understand this, but the mass of the population doesn't get it. And worse yet, is it that the narcissists in Congress and the White House don't get it either (that's very scary) or in the words of our out-going Secretary of State,"What difference at this point does it make?"

I caught a clip on the news last night about the Pentagon planning to furlough all their civilian federal employees one day each week without pay to save 20% of their annual payroll for civilian employees. The employees are already protesting and it hasn't even been officially announced. Sounds just like Greece, Spain and the other European countries. How about if we cut back all the salaries of Congress men and women and their staffs, cut the president's, vice-president's, cabinet members and all of their staff members by 20%? How about if we eliminated paid holidays, vacations, sick days, maternal or paternal maternity leave, personal days and pay for days when the government closes for bad weather? How about if we pared back their pension plans increased the amount of time in service to qualify for retirement pensions and made sure they were on the same healthcare plans as the rest of the population. By the way, it's the rest of the population who have to work to generate the money to pay the federal payroll and benefits?

We can, of course, carry this down to state and local government employees, too. The private sector already knows how this feels, but they're going to have to bite the bullet more, too. Maybe some jobs will need to be consolidated in the government sector. Maybe we need to close down some government departments and agencies that are redundant. Why not sell off all the surplus government property, buildings, resources and equipment that is tying up and costing capital.

I'll tell you what will happen. The Occupy Wall Street protests will look like a Kindergarten recess at an elementary school. The excuses from the Pentagon civilian employees as to why they can't take cuts are flying like crazy - I have kids in college (so do private sector parents); I have a sick spouse, husband, whoever (so do private sector employees); I won't be able to pay all my bills (so do private sector employees and why are you living outside your means???); etc., etc. Of course, it doesn't matter that the civilian counterparts in the private sector have been enduring this for at least the past five years. It doesn't matter that many of the private sector folks have lost their pensions, IRA's, 401k's, health insurance plans and even their jobs - and now they're going to have to pay a "tax that will not be treated as a tax" penalty if they can't afford to buy private health insurance.

We'll see work stoppages and work slowdowns. We'll see government employees going on strike (like Greece and Spain). Sure, it's against federal law for federal employees to strike against the government, but since government employees are represented by unions (Only 11.3% of the entire U.S. workforce is currently members of a union and by far the largest number are government employees), they will do it anyway. The government won't have the manpower to arrest the strikers, detention facilities, courts and prosecutors to try them nor the prisons to incarcerate them for their breach of federal law. So, it will be a moot point.

It's All Very Predictable

Additionally, let's consider the unfortunate people in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and other states severely impacted by Superstorm Sandy. Their losses are unimaginable. Those unfortunate Superstorm Sandy folks are now whining, crying and becoming more belligerently vocal because the federal government hasn't dropped all the myriad of other priorities to give them money that doesn't even exist. Predictably, it's the same thing that happened with the Hurricane Katrina victims.

But, is it really the responsibility of the rest of the citizens, who chose not to live in high risk locations, to provide the funds for rebuilding these homes and businesses in the same risky location? Consider how much help the farmers and residents of areas along the large navigable rivers receive when those rivers flood. They know they're going to flood. They have to account for that. Most of their assistance comes from their own resources. How about people who build homes in idyllic mountains and forest lands where wild fires are regular occurrences?

It simply has no end. And, the sad thing is that, except for the two fringe groups, no one else seems to get it. If you want freedom, you have to be responsible and accountable for your own actions. If I do something stupid, that's my responsibility. If I choose to live a lifestyle I can't afford and my job is eliminated, it's not my employer's responsibility nor is it the responsibility of my neighbors or the productive revenue generating parts of society (which the government is not and suckles off, is never weaned from and continues to become more and more insatiable).

Predictability! While I don't condemn the majority of the population who have bought into the system (we've all been sold a bill of goods by the narcissists), I also cannot feel sorry for them. Just as I've made choices in my life that were detrimental, so have they. But, I don't look for them to take responsibility for my choices, right or wrong. Therefore, I predictably see the world continuing down this predictable road to perdition, still believing that 2+2=22. They won't understand why they are in pain, why they are sliding backwards and why, sometime in the future, it will all come crashing down like a house of cards. Life is predictable.   

Step #1 – Dreams and Realization - 2012

A dear and, prematurely, departed friend of mine, Rosita Perez, frequently told this little story when she made presentations for major corporations and large, multi-national organizations. It went like this. Her husband, Ray, also a friend of mine, and a super guy, would come to her complaining about a number of issues that all seemed to need resolving right now. She’d remind him of one of the philosophies of Dr. Richard Carlson, who titled his best selling book by this philosophy, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: And It’s All Small Stuff.” Rosita would tell Ray, “Don’t sweat the small, stuff, Ray.” Ray would often reply, “But, this isn’t small stuff, Rosita, this is important.” To which Rosita would respond, “Ray, Being born, BIG STUFF! Dying, BIG STUFF! Everything else . . . small stuff.”

So, what does this story have to do with Step#1 – Dreams and Realization? It’s simple! We let the small stuff of life enslave us. There’s another saying that has passed around the Internet and is part of the chorus of a George Strait (country artist) top 10 song from 2010 that goes, “Life’s not the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.” In other words, each of us have so many breaths we’ll take during our lifetime, but just breathing doesn’t have anything to do with experiencing life to its fullest.

Life Is For LIVING!

I like to think that life is for LIVING and I don’t just mean waking up every morning and doing the same routine things everyday. Let’s see, you shower, groom, catch a fast cup of coffee and half a bagel, drop the kids off at day care or school, commute to work, do whatever it is that you do at your job, watch the clock waiting for the end of the day, commute home, prepare and eat dinner, clean up, help the kids with their homework or take them to their soccer games or whatever, watch a little CSI,  Law and Order or American Idol, catch a bit of Jay Leno or David Letterman, climb into bed, pick up the book you’ve been trying to get through for two months, fall asleep and start the whole routine over again when the alarm goes off at 6 AM. Okay, so maybe your routine varies a little, but I doubt that it varies very much.

So, what were those dreams you grew up with. Remember when you wanted to be a fireman or a cowboy or a soldier or a racecar driver or an astronaut or a doctor? Fill in your own dreams and ideas for future occupations. Ladies, fill in your dreams here, too. They may differ from a man’s dreams. The dreams probably changed many times as you grew through childhood, adolescence, those tough teen years and, again, when you finally reached adulthood.

What other dreams did you have? Did you want to run and win marathons? Did you want to play baseball, football, basketball, golf or tennis competitively or professionally? Did you want to be an artist and paint or sculpt or take award-winning photographs? Maybe you wanted to be a best selling author with lots of fiction or non-fiction books to your credit. Or, perhaps, you were musically inclined and played in a rock band with your high school buddies or sang in a classical choral group. You might have even composed your own music. The list could go on endlessly.

But, why aren’t you doing those things? Why didn’t you pursue your dreams? Probably, because during your childhood you were being conditioned into the model created by the Industrial Revolution. This model, in my estimation, is now obsolete, but it’s still the prevailing model that most people live their lives by.

Four or five generations ago, men, primarily, since women were only a small part of the out-of-the-home workforce back then, would take a job in a factory or a coal mine or in whatever field they found work and they would stay in that job for their entire working lifetime, typically, 40 to 45 years. Then, they would retire, live for a couple more years and die.

Women, typically, stayed at home for all those years and handled the domestic necessities of life. Some women were schoolteachers, nurses, telephone operators, waitresses and airline stewardesses –so-called, women’s work. Everyone is still conditioned for this same model today, though women have probably made the most progress over the past several decades.

The school system is based on that model. It prepares you for when you’ll enter the workforce and get a job. Creativity is stifled. Thinking outside the box is frowned on. Doing what your dreams would lead you to do becomes unrealistic by those in authority and influence around you. You can’t make a good living as a musician or an artist or a photographer or an adventurer or a professional athlete. You need to be “serious” and get a job where you have security and can make some real money.

Life Happens!

So, you put those dreams on the shelf, push them to the back of the closet in your mind and just say, “someday.” When does someday arrive? Usually, it never does. And, why does it never come? Because LIFE HAPPENS! Now, life is going to happen whether you’re working in a field that pays good money or not such good money. It comes whether you love what you’re doing or despise what you’re doing. Life is going to happen because it just happens, period!

What exactly does “life happens” mean? It basically means the chances are reasonably good that, whether you’re a man or a woman, you’re going to seek a mate, create a secure home and have a family. Typically, once you identify the mate and go through the ritual courting process, you’ll bond in a marriage agreement. Then you’ll start to create little people just like yourself and the cycle begins again. Only now you are the parents and will begin conditioning the new little people into the same “system.” And all of this requires a stable, secure, responsible environment, right?

Wow! Do I sound cynical, or what? Well, actually, this is all very natural and the way the human life cycle has been since “Adam and Eve” (or however you define the beginning of our species). Here’s the rub. Everyone is born with a natural freedom. Once you understand a bit about life, you understand that you want to be happy. A fulfilling life means that you have done something that fulfills your dreams while contributing, to some degree, to the society you associate with.

There are certain basic needs that Abraham Maslow outlines in his Hierarchy of Needs. You can look this up yourself. Essentially, you all start at the base of the pyramid with very basic needs for survival and as you meet these needs you progress up the pyramid. However, nowhere in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, nor anywhere else, does it say that you need to conform to the standards or system of survival, personal growth and achievement of anyone else. Yet, by the time most of you reached the end of high school and, certainly, college, for those privileged to attend such an institution, you were conditioned to “get a job.” 

“I Did It My Way”

For some reason, call it providence or, maybe, just luck, while I went through the “indoctrination and conditioning process,” I didn’t buy into it totally. I started my entrepreneurial career at age 12 as the proverbial “newspaper boy” delivering 108 to 110 evening newspapers to my customers six days a week and collecting for the papers on Saturday mornings. I learned that the better the service I rendered, the larger the tip I’d receive. I, of course, had to pay the newspaper their share each week. So, I really was an independent businessman.

My father, a self-made and educated man, always held a job. He would have liked to have been in business for himself, but he grew up during the depression and hung onto the “so-called” security of his employment with someone else. Today, many of us know that the term “job security” is really a paradox. Even finding a “good” job is extremely challenging. Finding a great job or one that fulfills your dreams is next to impossible. And having any kind of job security is virtually non-existent for most people. My father fostered my entrepreneurial spirit during those formative years. To some degree, he guided me toward a certain degree of non-conformity. I never got to thank him because he died before I graduated from college, but I am ever so thankful.

After completing my four years of college earning a degree in Education, I was totally disenchanted with what the “job market” offered me. As I told one recruiter, I was perfectly capable of starving all by myself. I certainly didn’t need to sign a contract and indenture myself to starve. I went immediately to graduate school for a master’s degree in Television and Radio. The job offers were a little better, but not very much.

I had been operating my own independent recording business through college and graduate school and I had a contract with a small regional radio network based in Syracuse, NY. One day while I was having lunch with the vice president of the small, family owned group (he was the son of the founder), Al said to me, and I paraphrase, “You have to make a decision. You can find a full-time job and keep doing your recording part-time. The chances are very good that you’ll still be doing it part-time 40 years from now. Or, you can take a chance on yourself, go full-time into your own business and pull in your belt and eat a lot of franks and beans. But, this is the only way you’ll know if you have what it takes to make it in your own business.” I chose the second option and I’ve never looked back.

I always tell people I became an entrepreneur because I was just plain lazy and couldn’t deal with the idea of commuting to and from a job and putting in eight hours a day, five days a week for someone else. Instead, I chose to work about 14 hours a day, seven days a week working for myself. As the song, with lyrics penned by Paul Anka and popularized by Frank Sinatra, goes, “I did it my way.”

Reality, In Your Face!

So, here is the Realization. Like it or not, you’ve all been sold a bill of baloney. No one needs to conform to the system, though the vast majority will. You could have opted out when you were a kid and chosen to pursue those dreams. Sure, you could have failed. Hey, you might have ended up as a “lounge lizard” playing the piano or the iconic Hammond B3 organ for a bunch of sad, drunken lushes. You could have written songs that may or may not have ever been recorded by any of the artists you wrote them for. You could have gone treasure hunting and never discovered a single gold doubloon. You could have obtained your commercial pilot’s license and never found a position with a commercial airline. You could have trekked around the world and taken photos that never won any awards or had your photos displayed in shows in New York City galleries. You could have done any of your dreams and failed miserably and never made an amount of money that would have made your parents proud of you and your friends envious. But, you’ll never know, will you? THAT is the realization!

Maybe you would have made a fantastic, exciting and fulfilling life for yourself doing exactly what you dreamed of doing. So, you might not have made all the money and couldn’t have afforded the MacMansion. But, you might have the pride in knowing that something you did directly impacted one or more lives positively. Instead, you conformed to what your parents, siblings, religious leaders, friends, teachers, professors and so on told you should do to have a nice, secure future and life. How did that work out for you? None of these people had any malice in the way they influenced you. They, actually, believed that this was the best course for you. And it was safe . . . or was it? And, by the way, there is ALWAYS a hefty price for security. It’s called freedom.

Perhaps, right now you’re saying, “But, It’s too late, now.” Or, you’re saying, “Ed is just a dreamer blowing a bunch of blue smoke in the air.” Well, you have the right to your own opinion. I once had dreams of building a huge multi-media empire and being a multi-millionaire media mogul. But, over the years, every time I went down that road, I became a prisoner in a prison of my own making. I ended up creating businesses where I wasn’t free and doing what I was passionate about. I ended up creating businesses with employees to manage. It turned out that building an empire wasn’t really my dream – it was a series of choices. The results of my choices and life happening, in my case, ended up with me building personal prisons. But, at least I tried.

 

“Your Assignment, Should You Choose to Accept It”

So, here is your assignment for Step #1. I know many won’t do it, but for those who do, you’re at the beginning of realizing your real dreams, life, freedom, happiness and fulfillment.

1. Make a list of your REAL dreams. These are the things you wanted to do when you were a kid and teenager facing an exciting future full of unwritten pages waiting for you to fill them in. It doesn’t matter how off the wall or unrealistic the dreams may seem now. Just list them.

2. Then circle or highlight any of those dreams that still stir excitement in your heart, mind and soul. Get your daydreaming mojo going and release adrenalin as you imagine, “What if?”

3. Now, make a brief outline of where Life has taken you. You know, the Life Happens, stuff. How free do you feel about where you are, now? How happy are you based on where you are, now? How fulfilled are you based on where you are, now?

You’re going to have conflicts and anxieties as you think about this seriously and deeply. Your spouse’s and kids’ (if you have any) faces will flash in your mind during this process. You’ll think about all the stuff you’ve accumulated and how could you possibly live without it. If you’re still employed, you’ll have questions and doubts about surviving without the income from your current job or business. If you’re retired, questions will arise about whether it’s too late or about working all your life for the “security” you feel you currently have and could you lose.

Reality, when you face it toe-to-toe and square in the eyes can be both ugly and scary. But, if you want to live free and be happy, it is a necessary part of this all-important first step.

Keep asking yourself these three questions:

       1. Are you as free as you feel you want to be, should be and could be? 

       2. Are you as happy as you feel you have every right to be? 

       3. Are you fulfilled in the knowledge that you lived your dream and your life on your own

       terms, didn’t sell yourself out and, with what you have contributed to society, can be proud of

       your legacy when that second “Big Stuff,” that Rosita Perez alluded to arrives?

You can’t do this exercise in ten minutes or an hour or a week. I’ve been working at it all my life and it continues even now on the other side of my mid 60’s. Even though I’ve been a non-conformist and serial entrepreneur all my life, I’m finally facing my own realities and realizing that I sold myself out most of my life. But, and this is a large BUT, I’m not dead, yet. So, I keep getting more chances.

Let me leave you with one other pearl of wisdom, a quote attributed to Wayne Dyer and often used by my dear, departed friend, Rosita Perez, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Good luck! You’re on Step #1 of your journey to living free. Hang on for the ride of your life if you choose to pursue your dreams, freedom and happiness.

The Apolitical Strategist – Part 1

This is not a political blog. It never has been and it never will be. I consider myself apolitical and it is my intention to keep this blog apolitical. When I speak of living free and freedom it’s not in reference to any government tyranny or dictatorship. When I do mention the government I speak about it collectively not by individual names, titles or positions, though for an example or to make a point I may select any or all of the above. Our (the U.S.) government has three branches as established in the U.S. Constitution; the Executive branch, the Congress made up of elected representatives of the people from each state including one non-voting representative from the District of Columbia and the Supreme Court that consists of nine appointed justices. I don’t care about religious, gender, age, race, sexual orientation or anything else about them. They simply are “The Government.”

Now, a lot of what I’m going to say and suggest in my periodic “Apolitical” musings may step on some people’s toes or sensitivities. Tough! As a matter of fact, DO NOT expect me to be politically correct. That is more balderdash as far as I’m concerned. I will never purposely or maliciously say anything to demean or hurt anyone if I’m saying what I believe to be the truth . . . as I perceive it. You can make any comments you’d care to in the comment section of my blog. But, remember, we can agree to disagree, but we don’t have to be disagreeable. Got it? I hope so. If you want to name call or attempt to demean me, remember, I control the delete button for this blog and I will delete you. Start your own blog and disagree with me if you want to be vehement. However, in all fairness, I am interested in your opinions and perspectives. Believe me when I tell you that I fully understand how complex our society and world is. I’ve been part of it for nearly 67 years at this writing.

So, those are the ground rules. Oh yeah, one more thing, I will do my best to not be a hypocrite. Some of the things I may discuss and point out as problems, causes of the problems and downright stupidity are things I am guilty of being a party to and/or participant of. I will say so when I realize that “I have seen the enemy and he is ME.”

With this in mind, let me say, and I’ve said this over and over, everyone is born with the natural right of personal freedom. Civilization, society, government, politics, political parties, special interests and so on are all inventions of humans. In the name of governance, since whenever our early ancestors conceived of it, every kind of inconceivable crime against humanity has occurred. I am not an anarchist. Because we are basically social animals, we need to live together in some form of harmony. Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, that is that we all have light sides (gentle, loving, caring, concerned, collaborative and so on) and dark sides (corruptible, greedy, violent, power mongering, controlling, murderous and so on) there has to be some form of governance to help maintain order and resolve conflicts, disorder, crimes against one another and so on. So, like it or not, we need some form of governance. We simply have to deal with it. Thus, some of our natural freedom has to be sacrificed for what we hope is a civil and orderly society.

For all you right wing, ultra conservatives and extremist left wing liberals out there – Bite Me! I don’t buy into all your claptrap political posturing. Whether most people believe it or not, those people who count as the ultra or extremist on either side of that pendulum number a very small percentage of any population. Only two percent of the Soviet Union’s population was Communist Party, card-carrying members. The leaders of the Party were a small percentage of the total Party membership and they controlled hundreds of millions of people. Boy, did that shock me when I discovered that fact. Most of the Russian and Iron Curtain countries’ population was just simple, ordinary people who wanted to live peacefully, enjoy and take care of their families and have the basic needs of life and a few special extras and luxuries when that opportunity was available. The same is true of China. And, it’s just as true of the United States, the United Kingdom and other countries that espouse some form of democracy or other forms of government.

What exactly does this mean? Well, to be blunt, here it is in a nutshell. The vast majority of the people of all societies are pawns, our own society not withstanding. We are used by a very small percentage of the population to instill them with the power they need to control the vast majority of the population. And, of course, within this structure are all manner and shades of special interests that play the game to gain precisely what they want to secure their own power and position. In the past it was much more challenging to play this game. But, throughout much of the 20^th Century and most definitely during the 21^st Century, the power mongers have tools at their disposal that didn’t exist even 50, 60 or 70 years ago.

History speaks of the despicable personage of Adolph Hitler. He certainly is no hero or role model of mine. What was his most powerful tool in climbing to the ultimate power he ascended to? Communication! Hitler could stand in front of a crown of thousands and bring them to an emotional fever that would cause them to believe anything he said and do anything he willed the people to do. His second most powerful tool was FEAR. Once he had a large enough following he would use the fear of bodily harm, destruction of one’s family, torture and death. And exactly how did he spread this fear? He simply turned all those who got sucked into his inhuman madness into informants even against their own family members. He had the power of public address systems and the radio waves, which he ultimately controlled, to reach the masses.

So, how does his madness and corruption apply to our current world? For one thing, with the most modern technology it’s even easier today. One simply needs to be a charismatic leader and give him access to the radio and TV airwaves, the cable TV providers and the Internet. What do we call these leaders today? They have a variety of labels. Some that immediately come to mind are the Pope, evangelists, presidents, prime ministers, monarchs, dictators, CEO’s and so on. Think about the current president of the United States and the last election. Through the use of the Internet and social networking he raised more money from more people for his campaign fund then any other “free” election in history. With those campaign funds he bought more TV and radio time, more PR and the ability to travel at will to more locations to rally supporters through his speaking ability. It still amazes me that he drew a crowd of some 100,000 people in Berlin, Germany at a rally for people he would not have any governing power over. But, we are a global society and this man who essentially came from nowhere, that no one knows from his past, who, by some people’s accounts, has never proven any qualification for the position he has been elected to and, yet, there he sits as the leader of the free world and the wealthiest and most powerful nation the Earth has ever known.

He used the same techniques that Adolph Hitler used to ascend to power only with more advanced technology. I’m NOT comparing or putting him on an ideological parallel with Hitler. But, he’s there because enough people, like you and me, voted to put him in that position. In my book, he never proved himself to me. I never bought into him and still don’t. However, back in 2000 didn’t a somewhat similar thing occur when a candidate at that time used his influence (and that of his party) to put him into that presidency? Please note, I have not called either of these men names nor am I passing judgment on their records. History will determine their place in the course of events. Go back to 1992 and one of the two candidates that year had a fantastic amount of charisma and was an excellent communicator and won the election. Twelve years before that there was another great communicator. And don’t forget the people who said things like, “Don’t ask what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” and “I have a dream . . .”

I have, on any number of occasions, used the term, “lemming mentality.” If you don’t know what a lemming is, quite simply it’s a group of people who reportedly will blindly follow a leader to a cliff and then jump off in mass suicide. Point of fact, that’s actually a myth. A real lemming is a small rodent. The lemming (the small rodent) does not commit mass suicide. But, there are some examples of this kind of mentality in humans. They are mostly motivated by charismatic leaders who mesmerize or hypnotize people through effective mass communication techniques and by telling them what they want to hear or persuading them to believe what the leader wants them to believe.

There are many examples, some mythical and others, unfortunately, real. There is, of course, the Pied Piper of Hamlin who, fictitiously, led the rats infesting the town away to their death. When the town refused to pay him, he mesmerized the children of the town and led them to their deaths. Again, this is fiction. However, there is the Jonestown, Guyana massacre where Reverend James Jones had 912 followers of his People’s Temple drink a poisoned Kool Aid type drink while he led them to their death by shooting himself in the head. There is the Branch Davidian massacre in Waco Texas. And, certainly, what was the mentality of the kamikaze pilots from the Japanese Air Force during World War II who were instructed to fly their aircraft into U.S. Navy vessels for the cause of the motherland and the emperor. Many of those pilots were never taught how to land their aircraft because they would never need that skill. And, perhaps, a more current example would be the suicide bombers who killed almost 3,000 people on 9/11 and continue blowing themselves up in the Middle East and other parts of the world. This behavior was also not uncommon during the Vietnam War and other conflicts over history.

So, my point in this first part of my musings as The Apolitical Strategist is to point out that, while humans are supposedly the most intelligent creatures on Earth with the ability to use logic and reasoning, huge numbers of them can easily be influenced and led down a primrose path to mass destruction of their own making. In so many ways, humans are pack animals looking for an Alpha animal to lead them and show them the way. This is why I refuse to label myself or be labeled as a Republican, Democrat, Conservative, Liberal, Libertarian, Socialist, Communist or anything else . . . other then an Independent thinker. Living free, to me, means doing everything I have to in order to preserve as much of my natural right of personal freedom as possible. I firmly believe that many people, perhaps the majority, blindly follow a “party line” because it’s what they’ve always done or their parents followed the party or it’s the union way or the preacher showed them the “light” and so on.

It’s sad that so many will give up so much because it’s easier and eliminates some really hard work. That work is called thinking critically and independently. Why think for yourself when someone else can do it for you? All you have to do is shake your head up and down like a bobble head on the dashboard of your car. We are prone to do things the easy way. There may not be any commonsense in the easy way, but it eliminates the hard work of actually thinking for yourself, even if you don’t fully agree with the “leader.”

I’ll expound more on living free and critical independent thinking in another post in the future. Comments? Anyone? Bueller?

Photo of the Week #2

This is an awesome sight and very sobering. You’re looking at Ground Zero in New York City at night about two years after the World Trade Center Towers fell. I was born and raised in northern NJ in view of the Empire State Building. I left New Jersey in 1967 when I was 22. The World Trade Center towers didn’t exist when I left. They opened a few years later. I was in the north tower once on about the 80^th floor to deliver something around 1980 or shortly thereafter. I took a picture of the towers with the Wanamaker Building (once the tallest building in the world) framed between them from the Hudson River on a Circle Line cruise with friends about three months before the towers fell. That photo is on a print that I shot on 35mm Kodachrome film (which, also, no longer exists).and I’ll include it here when I find the print and scan it.

Enthusiastically,

Ed

Photo of the Week #1

I’m beginning a new feature of my Living Free blog this week. I have collected thousands of photos from my travels, but I’ve seldom shared them with anyone. So, from now on, each week I’m going to post a photo from somewhere and some time during my travels.

The photos are randomly selected and I’ll revisit many locations over time. I’m selecting these photos mainly because of the memories that I have from when I took the photos and their uniqueness, at least to me. Many of these photos were taken from a moving vehicle that I was either driving or I was a passenger in. I hope you enjoy them.

Here is the first photo.

This photo was taken from a moving car I was riding in as a passenger. It is my first glimpse of Lake Tahoe. This shot was taken while we were still in Nevada. Our destination was South Lake Tahoe that is right across the border in California. The Nevada gambling casinos come right up to the California and then stop as you cross the border. It’s a beautiful setting. The photo was taken in late June of 2006 and you can see the snow on the mountain peaks even though it was officially summer.

Enthusiastically,

Ed

The Second Big Road Trip to my NEW “Home”

Well, here I am, sitting in my new residence (a motel room) in Rapid City, South Dakota, composing this post for the blog. I’ll explain more about the “residence/motel room” in the next post.

In the last post, I explained that I had completed my research about where to move my residence to my best advantage as a wandering nomad – and that place was Rapid City, South Dakota. Obviously, since I’m here, I’m a bit behind in posting about this road trip and adventure this time. So, I’m going to do a quick catch up to bring you up to date.

I ended up with a window of time between September 25th and October 4th that I could make the pilgrimage to South Dakota. I mentioned in my last posting that I had acquired a new (to me) 2002 Ford Focus 5 door hatchback to replace the trusty Silver Shadow (Cadillac Seville STS). The new car is metallic gun metal gray, so I’m dubbing it the Gray Shadow. I set up my account with Americas-Mailboxes in Rapid City, SD where they provide me with a street address and a mailing address to operate and headquarter from. They took care of acquiring the SD registration and tags for the Gray Shadow and sent them to me. So, I went to Shippensburg, PA where I bought the car from private party (a pharmacist and entrepreneur and his wife – delightful folks), put the SD tags on the car and drove it back to Winchester. I ran it back and forth from the Winchester to Falls Church and Fairfax for about a week and then it was time to hit the road on my next big adventure.

So, I loaded the car up on September 23rd (a Thursday) and drove to Keyser, WV where my friend Carolyn and her mother live. I spent Thursday evening, Friday and Saturday morning in Keyser getting some client project work done, then hit the road about 2:30 PM on Saturday. The Gray Ghost handled perfectly. Even though it’s a manual transmission (5 speed), it took no time getting used to driving it – and once on the road and up to speed, I engaged the cruise control – and just sat back and enjoyed the drive. I felt very comfortable in this smaller car, though I could feel the weight difference in the drive and it’s not quite as comfortable as the Seville was.

That day I made it to the Indianapolis area, pulling in after dark. It was a long day and uneventful. Actually, it was exactly the same course I took on my earlier adventure to OR and CA. So, there is really nothing to report. The second day of the trip was – well, just about the same. I would have spent some time working in the morning, however, the motel I stayed at was not one of the nicer places I’ve stayed and decided instead of working in the morning and driving later in the day, I’d leave earlier in the morning, find a comfortable place to stop for the night earlier and get some work done in the evening. That worked perfect. As a matter of fact, I reached Atlantic, IA where I had stayed at a very nice America’s Best Value Motel on my last trip, so when I saw the sign, I made the instant decision that I had reached my destination for Day 2 of this trip. The motel was, as the last time, very nice, clean, comfortable, economical and convenient to haul in my recording gear. So, I set up shop for the night and did some work that evening and then worked in the room until about 10:45 AM the next morning, when I packed up to meet the 11 AM check out time.

I was in the Central Time zone in IA and so I had to begin adjusting my thinking and my body clock a little bit. But, stopping while it was still light was a good move. The room cost less for a considerably better room then the really run down, Days Inn that was operated by people who were from another country and culture. So I felt quite a bit more rested when I hit the road about 11:20 AM. I found a Subway down the road and enjoyed half a foot long sandwich and put the other half in my cooler for dinner that evening. Day 2 of the trip was Sunday, September 26th. Day 3, Monday I made it from Atlantic, IA to Rapid City, SD. The driving distance was about 560 miles and it took about 9 hours of actual drive time with gas/pit stops and the Subway food stop. As I approached Council Bluffs, IA and the Omaha, NE area, I veered north toward SD. This was my first venture into new territory. Now, IA is IA, generally flat with some rolling hills, mostly rural and mostly agriculture. And that held true to the SD border and Sioux Falls, SD.

Crossing into SD took me into a new state I’d never been to before. So, it was virgin territory for me – and the state that would soon become my new state of residence. I never in my life would have guessed that one day I’d call SD my home, but it was about to become just that. South Dakota was more flat territory, but climbed in elevation very slowly as I traveled very rapidly from Sioux Falls in the east to Rapid City in the west. I had the cruise control set at 80 mph most of the trip through SD. Most of the land was fairly flat until I was about halfway across the state, then I started experiencing some of the badlands regions. Harsh terrain, but it is absolutely beautiful. And when we sing of the “amber waves of grain” – I truly saw them. This was cattle country and farming country. During a period of boredom and not being able to find a public radio station I wanted to listen to, I switched to the AM band and found AM radio very alive and sounding very good out there in the middle of nowhere. I scanned the dial and must have heard 18 or 20 strong and excellent sounding radio stations with a diversity of formats including really vintage rock and roll and very vintage country music. I was in my own private “heaven.”

I rolled into Rapid City just about 7 PM Mountain Time, so my actual drive time from Atlantic, IA to Rapid City, SD was just under 9 hours and the mileage was just about 560 miles on the nose. I drove downtown to see where my new “street address” was going to be located and where I’d be going the next day to take care of the various bits of business I needed to accomplish. Then I set out to find my place of “residence” for the night. After checking a few places, I settled on a Motel 6 that was in very nice condition. The room is Spartan, but both very adequate and comfortable (and secure).

I had arrived on Day 3 to my new “home.” I was 1,670 miles from my old home of 26 years, Winchester, VA.

In the next posting, I’ll discuss my impressions of Rapid City and what it took to become a resident.

Enthusiastically,
Ed

We Don’t Need All That We Want!

This is the second post in the “12 Great Truths” series. I think this is pretty obvious. Most of us are familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. These are the basic motivators that cause us to take action. These needs are usually depicted in the shape of a pyramid with the most basic needs at the bottom forming the foundation. Here are the needs as described by Maslow and I’ve put them in the order they appear in the pyramid with the most basic needs at the bottom and the highest level need at the top.

Self-Actualization
Esteem Needs
Social Needs
Safety Needs
Physiological Needs.

So, starting with the most basic needs, the foundation of the pyramid, physiological needs include food, air, water, shelter, clothing and sleep. We could consider these survival needs since it would be hard to need something else if you were always hungry or didn’t have fluids to hydrate your body since our bodies are mostly composed of water. We also need to breathe and we’ll do whatever we have to in order to keep oxygen in our system, it’s basically as important as water. Then we want to have some kind clothing to protect us against the cold of winter and shield us from the sun during the summer. Of course, we want someplace to get out of the elements whether a cave, a tent or some kind of lean-to. And finally, we need rest. If you’ve never tried sleep deprivation – and if you have the nerve – try it some time. It won’t take you long to understand why it is one of the methods most often used by interrogators and those who use it as a form of torture to extract sensitive information from those trained to resist divulging such information like military personnel and intelligence agents. Be careful if you try it. Don’t drag it out too long. The consequences can be traumatic and even dangerous. Bottom line, humans will do whatever it takes to meet these needs before all else.

Once our physiological needs have been met, we move up to the next level, Safety Needs. These needs are also called security needs and include such things as some kind of steady and secure employment or a way of generating a regular living that will provide the basic needs and other security needs. The other security needs include access to health or medical care – we normally think of this in the form of some kind of health insurance; a safe neighborhood, a village or a community; and more secure shelter then the most basic shelter one might use to meet this physiological need. This shelter could be an apartment, a house or even a room in a communal living situation. It’s important to note, however, that we won’t concern ourselves with this level of needs until the physiological needs have been and continue to be met.

Moving up the pyramid, we begin desiring a way to fulfill Social Needs. Social needs are where we begin needing companionship, acceptance, romantic relationships where our nesting and procreation desires become evident. Once again, according to Maslow, humans need to satisfy the first two levels – physiological and safety needs before we have both the time and confidence to consider this third level. This level also includes such activities as joining and participating in community, religious and other forms of social groups that become important for fulfillment. We develop friendships, mates, participate in various functions and activities of different forms of community – playing sports, helping others, joining committees, becoming volunteer firefighters or rescue squad members and so on.

So, we’ve climbed up three levels of Maslow’s pyramid. We’ve met the most basic needs of survival. We’ve reached a level of safety and security. We belong to a mating relationship, enjoy companionships with other people in the communities we’ve joined, we contribute in some manner to the well-being of others in the community and we receive acceptance and a feeling of fulfillment. What’s next?

Esteem Needs are the next level. This is the level where we experience the second Great Truth. When we reach this level we begin doing things and acquiring things to make us feel good, create a feeling of self-esteem, perhaps, build our status in our community, look for ways to build our self-worth, seek various kinds of recognition and status and work towards accomplishments that feed other areas of esteem needs. This means climbing the corporate ladder, earning higher levels of monetary compensation, acquiring a larger and more luxurious home or multiple homes, more expensive trappings, transportation, often in multiple forms that visually announce your status. This list can go on endlessly.

I said this is where the Great Truth that “we don’t need all that we want” comes into play. The problem is that we don’t know that we don’t need all that we want. We want to display our success and the best way to do that is to acquire more and more trappings of success. We believe that since we have the income to acquire these trappings that we need them. Actually, they are wants, not needs, but we can very easily transform them in our minds to needs. Unfortunately, one day, many of us and, perhaps, most of us, will realize that all we needed was the use of these things for a short period of time. However, we’ve acquired them and most of these things we will acquire will depreciate in tangible value very rapidly. We’ll use the items for a season (figuratively or literally) and then they’ll just be put in the attic, the basement, the garage, the out building – or the worse scenario – we’ll rent storage space for them and pay insurance on things that continue to depreciate (reducing our “wealth”) and costing us even more to store them with no reasonable expectation of recovering any of that money. In other words, we shovel money down a big, black, bottomless hole. Some people will have enough presence of mind to get rid of these things, take the loss and move on. But, they’ll probably continue to keep acquiring more.

Now, it’s not my position to judge whether these purchases are right or wrong, good or bad, wise or foolish. Since this step on the pyramid is about individual esteem, we each have to make these judgments and choices for ourselves. Some of us will realize this early and make different decisions then others. Some of us may come to the conclusion that a less expensive car does the same job as a very expensive Rolls Royce. A Timex or Seiko watch tells the same time as a $5,000 Rolex. We may choose not to join the very costly country club that other professional colleagues or neighbors have found they “needed” to join. Does this make one person better or more important then the other? No! It just means that they have different value systems. There was certainly a time when I had a drive to make enough money to acquire all the trappings of success. But, when I reached a point where I was able to realize some of them, I found that they really didn’t make me feel any different and once the novelty wore off, like the diamond pinky ring I acquired – I never wore it. It simply laid in a jewelry box – with other jewelry I also didn’t wear. I even bought a faux Rolex at one time just to see if it attracted any attention. It really didn’t. I don’t even wear a watch now and I have a better sense of time without it.

I came to the realization a couple years ago that I was squandering the most precious commodity I had – and I didn’t even have to work for it, it was a gift given to me when I was born. It is my TIME! I wasn’t particularly happy even though I was living quite well. But, I felt like I was a prisoner in a jail I had built for myself. It was then that I began seeking, for me, what I needed to fulfill my esteem needs. I realized for me there were really only two things that motivated me – Time (to live and do the things I wanted to do for myself) and Freedom (to be able to do those things I wanted to do when, how, where and with whom I chose to). I also realized that ultimately, there are only two things that mattered to me. One is love – to love and to be loved. The other is happiness – and I discovered happiness is an attitude and a state of mine and I had complete control over my attitude and state of mind.

Now, I can use all the time I have left any way I desire.

I am free and my work is to live and work free – and I can do that for the rest of the time I have left.

I know I’m loved by people all over the US and in other parts of the world – these are not romantic relationships, rather friendships that have endured decades. I don’t currently have a romantic relationship, but if that happens, great, if it doesn’t, I’m still loved and fulfilled in that area of my life.

And finally, I can be happy for the rest of the time I have left (and I sure hope that’s going to be at least a couple more decades).

I’ve also learned to ask myself a simple question when I find myself in any kind of shopping environment – a store, warehouse retailer or on-line. The question is, “Can I live without this?” Interestingly, the answer is, mostly, always yes. I’ve found that I don’t need all that I want.

This brings us to the final and top level of the pyramid, Self-actualization Needs. I believe that I’ve reached that level. I know a number of friends of mine who have been at this level for quite some time. I also know some people who are older then I am who have not reached this level, yet. So, what does self-actualizing mean? It means that you are self-aware, interested in you own personal growth, have stopped caring as much about other people’s opinions of you and seek to fulfill your potential. Maslow described this need as follows:

"What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization…It refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming."

I hope you can, also, see that reaching the level of self-actualization doesn’t necessarily mean that one has acquired great status, a huge income, multiple luxury homes, expensive cars and clothes and all the other trappings. Some people will achieve those things and then realize that those are not the things that fulfill them. Others (as I described my own circumstance) will realize self-actualization without accumulating great financial wealth and all the trappings. Most of the focus of my life now, including this blog and my plans for my future, is about continual personal growth, realizing my potential and helping others learn how to live and work free to achieve their own fulfillment and happiness. Unfortunately, some people will always stay at the first level – like those who are homeless people and chronically poor. Many more will reach the second level. Others will achieve the third level and we would, typically, call this group the middle class. Less will achieve the fourth level and these folks make up, what we refer to as the upper middle class and upper class. But, self-actualizing, in my opinion, can be achieved by anyone when they reach the point where they realize they have something they can give to others and ultimately, the world. When we realize that we don’t need all that we want, but we have something we can contribute to others and the world, we will feel fulfilled, begin reaching our fullest potential and live a happier, freer life.

There is a lot more that can be said about self-actualization, but I’ll save that for another post.

Next time, “Giving is greater then getting!”

Enthusiastically,
Ed