52 Weeks to a Simpler Life – Tip #26 – Learn One Important Word – NO!

Audio Version available - see player below

Have you ever ended up at a party, event, voluntary activity, sitting in restaurant with some folks, on a camping trip, vacation, etc. and all of a sudden . . . realize you didn't want to be there? Maybe you're sitting in your own home around your kitchen table entertaining and that same realization struck you. Why are these people here and why are you doing this?

Dumb question, right? Of course you have. So have I and so has just about everyone I know. So, here is another dumb question. Why are you there?

Maybe you like the people you're with, but you just don't really want to be at this event or sharing this time with these (and maybe any other) people at this particular moment in time.

So, how did it come about that you're in this less than comfortable situation? Actually, the answer is simple. You didn't learn how to use one of the simplest words in the English (or most) language . . . NO! Come on. Admit it! You don't like to say no and you don't want to disappoint people.

52 Weeks to a Simpler Life – Tip #17 – The Lost Art of Doing Nothing

“The Lost Art of Doing Nothing” was actually the title of a cover article in an early issue of the “Conde Nast Travelers” magazine. It probably dates back to about late 1987 or 1988. The first issue of the magazine was published in August of 1987. I received it free of charge for a year or more as part of my American Express membership. But, to this day, I remember that cover title. I was a very busy entrepreneur at that time, actually, doing freelance production and contract conference recording, so I was traveling a lot during those days and staying at a lot of nice hotels and resorts, usually compliments of those I was working for on a contract project.

Frankly, the concept of . . . doing nothing? . . . was pretty alien to me. Since high school and especially through college, graduate school and my nearly four year gig in the U.S. Air Force, I had become very accomplished at always doing something. What's the old saying? Something about an idle mind (and maybe idle hands) is the devil's workshop. Somehow, I believe you and a lot of people like you, if you're reading this article, can relate to what I'm saying.

52 Weeks to a Simpler Life - Tip #3 – Stop the Busy Work

Parkinson's Law states, “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” That seems to pretty much describe the average person's workday regardless of whether that work is employment or just chores around the homestead (fixed or mobile).

Basically, most people have an uncanny ability to “invent” work that is usually unimportant and irrelevant to anything productive. Why do we do this? Here's the tip for simplifying your life. Stop doing this!

Pimping - Oops, Make That - Primping and Prepping My McVansion For The Next Major Trek.

Well, as the old saying goes (from Robert Burns poem), "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." And that's true of my plans to be on the road heading west by October 1st. I had a project from a very long-term and very good client come in about 2 months later than it was supposed to. So, while I could have managed the project on the road, I was dealing with at least one new vendor and that made me a bit more wary.

During parts of the summer and the fall, especially during this two month delay in my departure, I've been getting little things done on the van, making a few changes and modifications and so on. It's like having a house and a vehicle. There's always something that needs to be done. The only difference here is that the house and the vehicle are one and the same. And, as I had some extra time, I'm doing some of the projects I planned for a little further down the road. . . READ MORE

Do You Have A Round TUIT?

Do you have a "Round TUIT?"

I do! I was sorting through another box of "Stuff" the other day, in my ongoing quest to downsize and
minimize (yep - I'm still at the process that seems never ending). In the box, I found a brass, stamped, flat, coin shaped object with the capital letters "TUIT" debossed in one side. The other side of the coin shaped object is irrelevant.

  

So, it's shape is round and it says "TUIT" on the object - why, that makes it a "Round TUIT." So, what the heck is a "Round TUIT," anyway? I can't spend it. It's not heavy enough to be a paperweight (and I don't have much paper anyway). I haven't seen a lot of these, so my guess is that most people never get a round tuit. . . READ MORE

Information Overload, Brain Drain & Writers Block

As regular readers of this blog, I'm sure you have noticed that I haven't been publishing much in the way of new articles for the past few months. I regret that. I have actually written several posts, however, after spending considerable time writing and contemplating each article, I just wasn't satisfied that I was delivering thoughts and ideas I felt would be useful for you. So, they sit in my draft file and may surface sometime in the future after I look them over again and possibly edit or rewrite them.

So, What Is My Problem?

I am back at my base camp in West Virginia. I arrived here about 9:30 PM this past Tuesday evening, July 22^nd after six weeks of travel. I realized that I just haven't been producing the way I normally do or the way I like to. Since I returned I actually wrote, yet, another article the other day. I wasn't happy with it either.

So, I realize that I'm in some kind of funk, phase or mode that I'm not very pleased with, after all, my life and philosophy are all about living free, yet, I don't seem to be able to write anything about it. Am I actually living free? Is my mind and creativity free? Or, am I trapped in some kind of black hole of my own creation.

I believe I've identified three causes for my writing malaise. The first is “Information Overload” or as some call it, “TMI” or “too much information.” It's basically mental clutter. The second is “Brain Drain.” The third is “Writer's Block.” Let me explore each of these a bit with the intent of helping emerge from my personal state of the literary doldrums and, perhaps, assisting you in climbing out of some kind of personal “black hole” you may be dealing with.

I might also mention that this kind of lethargy or mild despondency may actually be the manifestation of some (hopefully) mild form of depression. I'm not sure what specifically triggers various manifestations of depression, but I know that I have a genetic predisposition. So, while I don't feel particularly depressed, it may have nothing to do with how I'm actually reacting.

Information Overload

Let me first examine the idea of “TMI.” I am, by my very nature and as a 50 year veteran of the recording industry, an information “sponge.” While I was drawn into the recording industry by the music part of the business, I actually spent the vast majority of my life creating thousands of hours of information content. I guess I could almost say my middle name is Information. People often comment to me that I'm a fount of information. This can be very good, but it can also be a curse.

I am a voracious reader (though I really never classified myself as such), but not so much in book form as in articles, blog posts, newsletters and a variety of other forms. There has been so much going on in our country and our world, both recently and currently. My mind seems to never quit grabbing at and attempting to comprehend and order continuous sound bites both aural and printed. I have also shared time with an amazing array of very interesting people over the past six weeks on my just completed trek to New Jersey, Connecticut, New York (state) and Pennsylvania. By the way, if you aren't aware, I find just about everyone amazing and interesting since each person is so unique.

I learned so much on the trek. I took more than a thousand photos. I have about 150 hours (maybe more) of video I've captured with my dash cam. I explored old “stomping grounds” and witnessed the changes. I met, spoke with and learned from the numerous people I interacted with along the way. All this while traveling about 3,300 miles mainly in just one of the four states I visited. My mind may be having some issues with sorting, categorizing and analyzing this “data” to put to some tangible use. So, as I said, TMI!

Brain Drain

What I mean by “Brain Drain” might be considered by some to be numb or “brain dead” (not in the clinical sense, but psychologically and, maybe, emotionally). There is so much going on inside my head that I simply have needed to shut down for a while to take some time to sort, analyze and categorize all the accumulated new data. I need to discern that which is useful and valuable enough to to relate it to you and which is the chaff that I simply need to discard.

There is a blog I read by Randy, titled Mobile Kodgers. Randy seems to have his act together, but he uses pictures to speak thousands of words. He has found his voice. I haven't met Randy, yet, but intend to when I get out west later this year. Another interesting blog is Waterfall Road by TJ Worthington. I've met TJ down in his territory in the mountains of northwestern North Carolina. I was down there this past New Years Eve and passed a brief pleasantry with TJ, but it was at a celebration of one of my closest and longest friend's wedding (on New Year's Eve – that's a way to start a new year). So, I didn't have the opportunity to get aside with TJ and really chat about – well, lots of things. TJ also seems to have his thoughts in order.

So, not only am I dealing with Information Overload, but I've allowed this overload condition to drain my brain, leading to . . .

Writer's Block

I'm sure, if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, being at a loss for words has not been a problem for me. Actually, if anything, I need to get a copy of the AP Style Guide used by journalists and learn how to curb my words to make my posts faster, easier to read and comprehend and more interesting. (Maybe I'll order a copy for my Kindle library after I complete this post.).

Writer's Block is a real psychological problem, first described by a psychoanalyst in 1947. Many, if not all, writers including best selling, award winning authors have suffered the malady at some level at one or more times during their careers. So, while not exactly reassuring, at least I know I'm in good company and I can “recover.” I also read another article that enumerated ten types of writer's block and I can identify with at least four, if not five, of those.

I am going to post this article because it may assist you in overcoming some form of writer's block or even just some other challenge or even procrastination you may be dealing with. I know there are numerous other bloggers and writers who read this blog and, perhaps, you may also be going through some periods when writer's block sets you back a bit.

Ready! Set! Write!

I have a lot of things I want to write about. And, actually, writing this article has been educational and motivating for me. It has helped me focus my attention on the issue and recognize the things that may be blocking my creativity and productivity. So, be ready for some new articles with, what I hope will be, valuable and useful information. It's welled up inside this living free, location independent, nomadic blogger. It's about time, isn't it?

A Simple Lesson About STRESS

An old college friend dropped me an email last night with the following story. It struck a chord with me and thought it might strike the same chord with you.

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'... She fooled them all .... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night.... Pick them up tomorrow."

You Are Not Alone

Everyone has some stress in life. Actually, doctors say that a certain amount of stress is good for everyone. It keeps us on our toes. It keeps us sharp. It motivates us to take necessary actions and accomplish things that need to be done. But, there is a big difference between that "certain amount of stress" and living in a constantly stressful world where there is always several things on your shoulders and eating away at you.

I like the example of the glass of water the young woman used in her illustration in this story. I have chosen to live free and one of the things I wanted to be free of was the stress I allowed myself to live under for all of my adult life until I began to make significant changes to my lifestyle. There is a good chance you are either still living under all that stress or you remember what it was like and how it could consume you.

We have personal stresses, family stresses, financial stresses, job or business stresses and stresses that aren't yours, but are laid on you by others so you can share their misery. Of course, the reality is that most of our stress is self-imposed. What I mean by that is simply this. We choose to be under stress or accept other people's stress.

Stress often involves fear and worry. If you've read enough self-help, personal development books you've probably read that fear is defined as "False Expectations Appearing Real." If you've never heard that before, you can Google it and find a lot of reading material about "fear."

Worry goes hand in hand with fear and results in stress. In fact, most things people worry about never actually happen. When something does happen it's seldom even close to the consequence the subject of the worry expected. And, in the very, very small percentage of the time when something truly catastrophic happens, there is seldom ever any amount of worrying that could have prevented the outcome. Worry is actually the main component of generalized anxiety disorder, which is a serious mental illness that manifests in any number of physical symptoms and can actually disable individuals. Approximately 7 million people in the U.S. have been diagnosed with the disorder and there are probably a few times that many who have not been diagnosed.

Here's the important thing to think about. If you've made a choice to adopt a "living free" lifestyle, then you should automatically be releasing much of the stress (and fears and worries) you lived with before you made the lifestyle change. If, however, you still are carrying albatrosses around your neck and the weight of the world on your shoulders, you have some serious work to do, yet. You may even want to schedule an appointment with your primary doctor and possibly a clinical psychologist who specializes in stress and stress reduction.

Life Is Short

Let's face it! Life is short! Everyone, yes, including you, were born with a terminal disease. We're all going to die. Now, there are lots of things that can contribute to and cause premature death including accidents of all kinds, diseases of all kinds and STRESS (with its accompanying fear and worry).

Accidents happen and we all hope we won't be the victim of an accident. But, letting this possibility stress you out and cause you to spend your priceless time fearing everything that might result in an action and worrying about it, may actually accelerate your demise from health issues caused by the stress.

The same is true of diseases. No one wants to hear his or her doctor tell you have some form of cancer or coronary disease or any other kind of disease for that matter. So, instead of allowing stress (worry and fear) to control major parts of your life, why not be preemptive. Learn what you need to do at the various stages of life to maintain a healthy body and mind. Don't stress about what might happen, enjoy the health you have and keep yourself healthy (you'll also be happier).

Of course, there is the very small percentage of people who will find out at the 11th hour that they have Stage 4 of some form of cancer or they have a 95% blockage of a major artery or an abdominal aneurysm or something else and it's too late to do anything about it. That is, unfortunately, the luck of the draw. It won't help to spend your time worrying about death, that's going to happen. If you're fortunate enough to know you have three or six months or a year, then having an up to date "Life List" (or Bucket List if you want to be negative about it) is the best possible thing. Focus on that list and start experiencing everything you can on the list immediately. It's actually been documented that people with a list and who attack their list aggressively rather than worrying about the inevitable, will extend their lives.

The one thing you do have the most control over is Stress (and the accompanying fear and worry), so why choose to let stress control your life? Here's a reality. For most of us who have lived an active, busy, hectic occupational life and family life, we've been living under massive stress most of our life and have simply adjusted to it and accepted it as a way of life. Making the choice of letting go of your past life and adopting a lifestyle of freedom may actually be more stressful than your previous stressful lifestyle of the past 10, 20, 30, 40 or more years. It was that way for me. There have only been a few super stressful times in my life (the rest of my stress was just the daily, accepted, constant stress). One of those super stressful times and, perhaps, the most stressful, was when I made the transition from the lifestyle I'd led for about 40 years to my lifestyle of living free.

Reducing Stress Is Stressful

It was a very difficult, challenging and, yes, I'll use the word, stressful experience. And, it's not that four and a half years later I'm without all stress. However, as I've told people, my financial overhead reduced by 80% when I made the transition. I no longer had a house and property on my back. I didn't have all the stuff to warehouse and pay insurance for. I simply figured out what I needed to maintain, like health insurance, vehicle insurance, minimal clothes, etc. and that's all I had to be concerned with. Pleased notice, I said "concerned with" not "worry about" or "stress over." I can honestly say my life is the most stress free it's ever been. I'm personally freer and happier than I've ever been and the only thing I question is why I didn't do it years earlier. I have no desire to ever return to the lifestyle I left. There is absolutely nothing appealing about it or that I miss. And, all the people who I've come in contact with and met who have made this same choice and have been living free (many of them considerably longer than me) have said the same thing.

So, how long can you hold that glass of water at arm's length in front of you before you'll begin realizing the negative impact the "stress" will have on your arm and shoulder? Will you worry you'll spill it? Do you fear that if you spill it you'll damage something? What is making you hold that glass out in front of you at arm's length? Do you have something to prove by it? Do you really care what other people think? You can put it down anytime you choose to. After all, who is the boss of your life? I sure hope you are. 

The Cluttered Mind - Mine!

You may have noticed that I've not been posting as much over the last couple months as I had been. I guess I could use the excuse of writer's block. However, a more accurate description is that my mind has become cluttered. It's not been any one particular reason. There has just been a lot going on and I've allowed it to distract me from my primary mission . . . living free and writing about it.

So, what are these things that have distracted me? Well, certainly there has been a lot in the news lately. We've had industrial explosions in Texas and Louisiana; tornadoes in Texas, Oklahoma and other places; floods in various parts of the country; out of control wild fires (one of my former brother and sister in law's house has very likely been destroyed in Colorado); other kinds of weather related events, government scandals, not one, of course, but numerous scandals building on one another; continued unrest, escalating wars, political outbreaks and protests in new places in the world. Additionally, it was time for me to have my routine check-up and my annual cancer follow-up, plus I've had a lame shoulder and arm for the past eight months or so and it had me very concerned. And then my Medicare plan has just set me back on my heels. I've also been working on the annual Veteran Speakers Retreat I coordinate every year. This is the 12th year and my last. I have identified a new team to take over and replace me for next year's retreat, but I need to transfer everything over to them and bring them up to speed. Finally, I had a small project with a regular long time client to work on with him in the Washington, DC metro area.

Okay! So, the news is the news. I accept and agree fully that there is nothing I can do about all the events that blast forth from the one-eyed monster, the NPR programs and my Internet news feeds. However, It's impossible to remain completely oblivious to all the local, national and world events going on around us. For one thing, even on the most indirect level, all of these things impact us and we should remain informed at the very least. Certainly there is nothing you or I can do about the weather, floods or forest fires. There is little we can do about industrial explosions or train derailments and other catastrophic accidents. The government scandals, while not our direct fault, are, at least, indirectly a result of our collective action in electing the people who supposedly represent us and are supposed to look out for our interests as a society.

The point is, we live in a very complicated society and world and even when we work hard at simplifying and living simply, there are things beyond our direct control that complicate our lives and can lay a negative pall over life in general. Although, like anyone, I can get depressed, I do not suffer from clinical depression or have a depressive personality. But, I sure feel sorry for anyone who does suffer from depression and lets this stuff get to them.

It's very easy in this complicated society, no matter how simple we attempt to keep our lives, to be overrun by all this negativity. In my case, I call it a cluttered mind. I'm simply processing too much information and it does distract me from the beauty and light of simplicity and all the good things going on around me.  

Some of the good things include my doctor telling me that after ten years with no recurrence of the cancer he treated me for in 2003, it's unlikely I'll ever have a recurrence at this milestone. He declared me cured. Believe me, if you are a cancer survivor that is a jubilant and triumphant moment when you hear those words. My weight loss plan is continuing to progress. My primary care doctor is pleased with the progress of keeping my blood pressure in zone along with my cholesterol. I went to a physical therapist to evaluate my lame shoulder and arm and was relieved to learn that it is not a torn rotator cuff, which was my concern. With simple exercises and stretching the problem should clear up fully. This is all good.

But, then a little glitch appears when I find out that the Medicare plan I signed into for this year isn't what it stated in the brochures. Once again, it's the small, fine print that sneaks up and hits you up the back of the head. So, now I have to go through a bunch of letters and waiting to deal with the government, something I do my level best to avoid at all costs. This can cause mind clutter.

Well, I've allowed all this "static" to clutter my mind and distract me from my real mission in life. But, it's time to get back on track and follow "my plan" for my life. The Veteran Speakers Retreat is two months away, after which I'll take care of paying the bills and pass everything off to the new team. My spring and summer seasons in the future are then free. I'm refocusing my priorities toward getting the van (My McVansion) built up for getting back out on the open roads. I'm doing more downsizing. I'm focusing on the "Living Free" blog and setting up my other niche blogs.

I pass this on to you to illustrate just how easy it is to have your mind and plans hijacked and cluttered by too many things that, in reality, are not truly important. I'm currently reading a couple different books that are inspiring me. I've read some great blog posts recently that have made some terrific points I want to share with you. I've added a new piece of technology to my arsenal and I'll share my thoughts on that as well. So, here comes some great (I hope you'll agree) new stuff.  

Living Free Quick Start Program!

Living Free or at least living freer seems to be catching on as a lifestyle trend. I hear more people talking about the idea all the time. I see people taking a variety of steps toward gaining or regaining the personal freedom they want for themselves and their families. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that living free is my mantra. We live in a very complicated society with way too much "stuff" that costs too much money to buy, maintain, store and insure. There are so many facets of daily life to attend to, cope with and keep up with. They all breed stress, anxiety and, often, depression. Living free requires making some choices then taking positive action.

Two years ago I developed a 12 Step program for Living Free. You'll find each of the steps described in greater details in subsequent posts. But, let's face it. Like with many things in our life, we are very often in denial. It's one of those "can't see the forest for the trees" kind of things. In other words, we are so wrapped up in the details and minutia of daily life that we may be missing the important and most meaningful things life has to offer.

I also know that how I define living free and my lifestyle choices may not relate to your definition and choices. Each individual is going to have very different ideas about their own life. That is as it should be. Biting off a 12 step program or plan may also sound very ponderous. Heck! Life is already too complicated. Who needs to attempt taking on a 12 step plan that can involve a multitude of choices and changes to implement?

K.I.S.S.

So, let's apply the K.I.S.S. principle to making your life freer. The objective is to feel and live freer then you currently are. The result of living freer should be more harmony and happiness. So, to Keep It Simple Sam or Sally, I've created a simple, effective, 3 step plan to get started down the road to living free.

The three steps are:

1. Simplifying

2. Downsizing

3. Economizing

Here is the hypothesis. If you can simplify your life by reducing the number of details and minutia, downsize by eliminating some thing or some things that drain your time, energy and resources for a minimal useful or psychic return and econimize by cutting out expenditures that have a negative return or, at best, a minimal return for the money spent, then you should begin realizing a freer life and lifestyle. Does that make sense?

1. Simplify

Once again, even these three steps can look daunting if you attempt to eat the entire elephant in one sitting. The most effective way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time and that's the way you should approach making the choices and changes to achieve a living freer lifestyle. Look at it this way. If you can eliminate one daily or weekly function in your overly busy life and that frees up one hour per week, that's 52 hours a year that you will reclaim and can now rededicate to something more meaningful or productive or relaxing and probably all three.

2. Downsize

Can you think of a single thing in you life or in your home that takes up space and/or time to store or maintain? Perhaps it's a closet full of old board games or even obsolete electronic games that have been replaced by something newer. I have absolutely no doubt that there is at least one thing that you can do without. Most likely you can think of many things, but just start with one. If that space was vacated it could be reassigned to something more relevant or, better yet, it should multiply into greater downsizing in the future, possibly even a smaller home or business location.

3. Economize

One of the biggest challenges most everyone faces in our contemporary society is financial issues. You don't even have to listen to the news, cable news analysts, read the newspapers or most any serious periodical to know finances are one of the most significant issues for most people. And, this isn't only a U.S. domestic issue. It's global. The exciting thing is there are so many ways to economize and become more frugal without denying yourself of a very nice lifestyle. In fact, by becoming more frugal, you're going to find the resources to live better and freer. It's like getting a tax free pay raise.

Suppose you can economize by saving $50 per week on various things that may not really be as important as you thought they were or they are recurring expenses that have outlived your interest or their usefulness. This will result in $2,600.00 of tax free found money per year. Will that make your life better and freer? Will you and your family or significant other (if you have them) happier? That found money can do a lot of things for you including getting you out of debt and contributing to a future, financially secure living free retirement, maybe even an earlier retirement.

No Rocket Science Required

So, are you with me on this? I know this sounds simplistic, perhaps, overly simplistic. But, I said we were going to apply the K.I.S.S. principle, so the operative word is simple. Unfortunately, it's often the simple things that are overrun by the complex details of life. Also, I can't tell you precisely what you should simplify, downsize and economize. I don't know your life. However, let's make this perfectly clear. This is not rocket science or brain surgery.

21 Days and $24,000.00 Tax Free

In 1982, I was attending a friend and client's seminar on closing sales. Now, I make it a point, anytime I attend any function, especially an educational function, to gain something from it. One nugget of information or an idea can positively change a person's life. At the seminar, my friend, Dave, discussed a book I had read years before this particular function. The book was Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. In the book Dr. Maltz said that it takes 21 days to make or break any habit, good or bad. I was already familiar with this concept, but I decided that was going to be my takeaway from this particular function. I thought about it and finally decided I was going to stop drinking coffee. I didn't have a problem with coffee and I liked coffee. But, I realized that it was a habitual aspect of my life, as it is for the vast majority of adults.

That day in 1982 was the last day I drank a cup of coffee. It's 31 years later. I still like coffee and I can drink it any time I choose to. But, it is now a habit to NOT drink coffee. I like it, but I didn't and still don't need it. I can't tell you how much money not drinking coffee has saved me over the years, but I dare say it's well into the range of several thousand dollars. Just one cup of some kind of premium coffee each day, seven days a week at an average of $3.00/cup is a savings of about $1,095.00 per year.

One Target, But A Triple Score

So, let's examine this. First, this one choice has simplified my life. I don't have to plan stops at any of the variety of places that sell such premium coffees. At one stop per day at about 10 minutes per stop, that's nearly 61 hours per year that I've gained and made my life simpler. Second, I don't have a car full of empty coffee cups and I don't have a coffee maker to take up space, clean and maintain. That is one less thing to complicate my life - by downsizing an appliance and accessories I don't require. Third, I've already economized by nearly $1,100.00, but add to that the savings from not buying coffee grounds and other fixings for making my own coffee. That's an additional savings of probably more than $300.00/year.

So, one lifestyle choice has simplified my life, downsized my "stuff" and given me about a $1,400.00 to $1,500.00 tax free raise each year. Average it out over the years to $800.00 to allow for inflation since 1982 and I've realized about $24,000.00 of simplified life. Not bad, huh? That's the price of a reasonably nice new car or several nice vacations or it could earn some nice dividends in a retirement plan.

And, of course, I can (and have) done this with other facets of my life. They are all personal choices for MY lifestyle and may not relate to your choices or lifestyle. The other significant thing to illustrate the K.I.S.S. principle is that I only chose one facet of my lifestyle and it positively impacted the three steps I'm suggesting you consider for starting to live freer.

K.I.S.S. - A Reprise

Here's another thing to include in this equation. Whatever facets of your life you choose as your first stabs at simplifying, downsizing and economizing, they don't have to be major things. Going back to the elephant illustration, choose small things initially. Believe me, when you take a look at your week, you're going to be saying, "Boy, if I didn't have to do this one thing, my life would be simpler." Or, "If I could just get rid of this thing I never use or wear any longer I'd have more space and feel less cramped." And, "If I cut back on this one expenditure a little each week or I walked to the park or gym instead of driving and burning $3.50 to $4.00 per gallon of gas instead of calories." You'll never notice the loss of whatever it may be. However, you'll sure begin to realize the positive benefits and improvement to your life. You'll realize that you're just a little freer then you were. And that, my friend, is the whole point. You can live a freer and happier life.

Remember what I said about habits taking 21 days to make or break? Once you get in the habit of finding ways to simplify, downsize and economize, you will have developed a proven and positive habit that will serve you for the rest of your life. You may wish to adopt a question I always ask myself when I see things that catch my eye. "Can I live without this?" By learning how to say yes to that question most of the time, you'll have more time, need less space (reduce your carbon footprint, too) and have more money to save, go on vacation, educate yourself and your family with and anything else that will fit into your living free lifestyle. The major result is that you're going to be freer and happier and, heck . . . isn't that the real bottom line, anyway?

So Much From So Little

One of the concepts I enjoyed exploring over my lifetime and still do, for that matter, is finding ways to do a lot with a little. The idea might be to do a lot of whatever you may be doing in the least amount of space. Or, it might be creating a lot of output from the least amount of production equipment and facilities. It might be how to operate a very efficient, profitable business with the least number of people. And, of course, the ultimate would be to operate a very efficient, high output, profitable business in the smallest amount of space, with the least amount of equipment and facilities and the least number of people.

Apparently, that's what the United States and some of the other industrialized nations around the world are discovering . . . you can do a lot with a little. Well, I guess that applies to private, profit making businesses because it behooves them to be as cost effective and efficient as possible to realize the greatest return on investment as possible. Some, perhaps many, non-profit organizations don't necessarily operate on these principles. In some cases, of course, they don't have the resources to occupy too much space, employ too many people and operate with a maximum amount of internal bureaucracy as possible to accomplish their mission. They have no choice, but to be as cost effective and efficient as possible. But, the organizations that do have the resources will seldom operate as efficiently and cost effectively as they could.

The government, most governments at any level, operates on the principle of too much "fat" because they can and because it's not their money. The money isn't earned nor do they produce anything to generate revenue. They simply find as many ways as possible to remove as much money from their constituents' pockets as they possibly can and then they'll squeeze a little more. Unfortunately, most of the public will complain a bit, some may even be a bit more verbal, but the old "you can't fight city hall" syndrome seems to apply in virtually all situations involving government. Then apathy quickly sets in and the system goes on as it always has.

The Phenomenon Created By Crisis

Currently we are witnessing a very interesting phenomenon. Due to the actions of the government and a number of greedy (for want of a better word), financial types and the corruption and lack of ethics and scruples of a relatively small number of people, businesses have pulled back. When they did so, it required them to cut operating costs and the fastest and most efficient way to cut the fat in operating costs is to layoff workers. Once the workers are out of work and no longer receiving income, the workers stop purchasing. This, of course, means that the businesses cut back their output since there isn't enough demand. But, here's the really interesting thing. The businesses still have to operate to stay in business. So, they begin making adjustments that they could have and, probably, should have made years before.

Here is the result of this phenomenon. Businesses are now able to operate more cost effectively, more efficiently and more profitably in less space, with less, but more efficient equipment and facilities and less workers to turn out more and better products (or services) then they could before the financial crisis that began around 2007. So, instead of having an unemployment rate in the 4 or 5% range, it's running in the 8% range, nearly double the figure that's considered "normal." Meanwhile all the "Talking Heads" in the government and media continue to cajole the business sector to hire all these out of work employees. But, why should the businesses do this? They are putting out more product, making record profits, sitting on more cash then ever before and the stock market is now at the highest level it's ever been according to the Dow Jones Indices. And, one additional consequence of this is that the businesses can adjust their output to follow market demands much faster and with little disruption then ever before.

One example of this is a paper mill not far from my base camp in West Virginia. The mill is on the other side of the Potomac River in Maryland. Twenty-five or thirty years ago this paper mill employed approximately 2,200 to 2,400 people. It operated five lines of paper calendaring, cutting and trimming equipment. Today, that same paper mill employs approximately 800 people, operates two lines of equipment and produces at least twice as much output as it did 25 or 30 years ago. Are they going to hire more people? Absolutely not! Actually, they just downsized their workforce again eliminating another 40 to 50 people and their output is still where it was before the layoff.

Two Sides Of The Commentary

The sad part of this commentary is that it's going to be very difficult to reduce that unemployment rate. Eight percent may be the new normal.  And, of course this is really not an accurate statistic when you add in the people who have been dropped from the unemployment statistics. It's not that they're now employed. They simply gave up looking for non-existent jobs. If you also consider those who are under-employed and are working one or more menial part-time jobs to attempt to earn enough to get by on, the statistic changes dramatically. You are looking at a figure that is in the 18% to 22% range according to recent estimates by economists. Actually, in some areas, the new, young, starter job, prospective workers have unemployment rates of 25% to 35% and possibly more.

The positive part of this commentary is that investors are realizing a consistent growth in their portfolios, 401k's and IRA's. Unfortunately, most of the folks who are part of the unemployment statistics don't have any money to invest.

The "Why" Of This So Much For So Little Phenomenon

This phenomenon is the result of the converging of several factors. It's really not rocket science, either. The two main factors are the financial crisis that forced the business sector to regroup and refine or reinvent their operating models and the continual improvement in technology in every facet of business.

It's simple; less people are required to produce more output. Once upon a time the phone companies employed very large numbers of telephone operators. Today there are only a few. Large companies had large secretarial pools. Today they are called administrative assistants and there are very few. Manufacturing plants (like the paper mill I cited) had large numbers of workers operating all kinds of machines and doing all kinds of processes. Today, computers and robots have replaced the masses of these workers. And so will the future continue down this path.

My Motivation For This Post

So, what brought this thought to mind? Actually, a few things were the motivation for this post. One is the current state of the stock market. Another is the constant droning from the federal government "Talking Heads" including the "Talking Head In-Chief" about creating jobs. It's almost reached the point of being laughable if it wasn't so sad. You can read the newspapers (whatever those were) or listen to the mass media and get all the rhetoric on this subject. And a third thing that stimulated me was an email I sent to someone who was inquiring about certain aspects of my "living free" lifestyle. And to be more specific, the discussion got around to "smart phones." This intelligent woman, in my age range, said that she just couldn't get her mind wrapped around the idea of getting a smart phone.

I accepted that thought as a challenge. So, I decided to make a list of the functions this one small, lightweight, inexpensive (especially in light of all that it does for me) piece of technology does for me. I'm sure there are many who are using it for much more than I am, but here is the list of how one small piece of pocket-sized technology has made my life better, more efficient, cost effective and productive.

My smart phone is my:

-personal phone

-business phone (with the addition of a Free Google Voice phone number)

-pocket camera - darn good quality - actually more resolution than my 

     current standalone SLR

-pocket video camcorder - pretty amazing and a thousand times better than 

     the first video camera I bought in 1977 that cost me about $1,600

-weather forecaster - instantly and up-to-date including Doppler radar and 

     15 day forecasts for planning

-pocket calculator

-calendar

-appointment book

-Little Black Book (contacts, names, addresses, phone number and email 

     addresses - home and office)

-flashlight

-library (with my free Kindle reader and the other free ebook reader 

     app installed)

-Solitaire and Words With Friends games - for when I'm bored or 

     waiting for something

-Web browser when I need instant information

-email reader and sender - though I prefer my computer, I still do about 

     50% of my work on the phone

-wireless Internet modem and router (up to 5 devices can connect at 

     the same time)

-GPS including maps and voice directions

-Google maps to chart a course, check mileage or calculate travel time

-alarm clock

-timer (and egg timer) that I use frequently

-stopwatch - when I'm walking or checking the timing on a piece I'm recording

-To Do (tasks) list

-credit card processing terminal with my Square-up account and card scanner

-Dwolla account (another way to send/receive money without using a credit card

-USAA account monitor - I can do all my USAA banking/monitor my IRA 

     & my car insurance

-USBank app allowing me to monitor my business account & deposit checks 

     electronically

-photo gallery of any photos I want to load on and have to show others

-video player for videos I want to load & watch - including connecting to an 

     HD, flat screen TV 

-music player with music I load onto it (my personal iPod)

-Netflix movie player

-Skype phone I use to talk to people all over the U.S. and the world

-text messaging device

-Facebook page monitoring

-Google + monitoring

-Twitter monitoring

-LinkedIn monitoring

-Couchsurfing.org app travel network

-fm radio and podcast device

-news feeds

Holy cow! That's over three dozen uses from this one device that cost me $5.00 on a special promotion at Costco. It has replaced many devices and hundreds and probably well over a thousand dollars of additional expense to buy, maintain and store all this stuff somewhere. And, here's the best part, I have all of it with me all of the time. I don't have to go searching for where I last stored it. Or worse, yet, need something when I'm not "home" and don't have whatever it is to utilize when I need it.

This is the future for all of us. It's this kind of technology and thinking that has so dramatically changed our work/business culture and created this environment of efficiency, cost effectiveness and productivity. If we want to keep up with the world and if we want to live free, we must adapt to and adopt the changes that are going to happen with or without us. My smart phone has created a massive amount of freedom for me. If you're not currently into smart phone technology for yourself, I strongly recommend you do a little research, shop around and make the commitment. It will make your life better. I might go as far as to say it could very well be life changing.

     

Photo-of-the-Week #83 - Starbucks #1, Seattle, Washington, June 2012

Here is Starbucks #1. This is where it all started in 1971. Well, this is actually Starbucks #1 - #2 on Pike Place. This is the current location of Starbucks #1 from about 1975 or 76 until the present. Prior to that, it was located on Western Avenue. This current location is directly across the street from the Pike Place Public Market.

There's a certain cache about getting a cup of coffee, or in my case, a cup of tea at the very first store of a worldwide chain of coffeehouses numbering somewhere around 20,366 stores. Of course, because of that cache, you can pretty much plan on waiting in line to be served. On this trip, earlier this year, I opted not to wait in line. But, when I was there in November 2005, I did run the gauntlet and enjoy a Starbucks treat.

I should add a little disclaimer and say that I'm not really a big Starbucks fan and probably don't patronize the chain more than maybe five or six times a year. But, I'm still drawn in by unique and historical things. So, I can say, in this case, that I've had a beverage at #1. Actually, my favorite coffeehouse is a small private place in Sparta, North Carolina operated by my friend, Selma, who makes the absolute best Chai Tea Latte I've had anywhere in the U.S.    

Three Simple Steps for Living Freer - Immediately!

TOO MUCH STUFF - Time to Downsize!

Living Free or at least living freer seems to be catching on as a lifestyle trend. I hear more people talking about the idea. I see people taking a variety of steps toward gaining or regaining the personal freedom they want for themselves and their families. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that living free is my mantra. As the photo illustrates we all live in a very complicated society with too much "stuff" that costs us too much money to buy, maintain, store and insure. There are so many facets of daily life to attend to, cope with and keep up with and they all breed stress, anxiety and, often, depression. To live freer we have to take some positive action.

I've outlined a 12 Step program for Living Free in this blog and you can click on the link to review the 12 Steps if you choose to. You can also find each of the steps described in greater details in subsequent posts. But, let's face it. Like with many things in our life, we are very often in denial. It's one of those "can't see the forest for the trees" kind of things. In other words, we are so wrapped up in the details and minutia of daily life that we may be missing the important and most meaningful things life has to offer.

I also know that how I define living free and my lifestyle choices may not relate to your definition and choices. Each individual is going to have very different ideas about their own life. That is as it should be. Biting off a 12 step program or plan may also sound very ponderous. Heck! Life is already too complicated. Who needs to attempt taking on a 12 step plan that can involve a multitude of choices and changes to implement?

K.I.S.S. and the 3 Steps

So, let's apply the K.I.S.S. principle to making your life freer. The objective is to feel and live freer then you are currently. The result of living freer should be more harmony and happiness. So, to Keep It Simple Sam or Sally. Let's create a simple, effective, 3 step plan to get started down the road to living free.

The three steps are:

1. Simplifying

2. Downsizing

3. Economizing

Here is the hypothesis. If you can simplify your life by reducing the number of details and minutia, downsize by eliminating some thing or some things that require time, energy or resources for minimal useful or psychic return and become more frugal by cutting out expenditures that have a negative return or, at best, a minimal return for the money spent, then you should begin realizing a freer life and lifestyle. Does that make sense?

1. Simplify

Once again, even these three steps can look daunting if you attempt to eat the entire elephant in one sitting that your life may resemble. The most effective way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time and that's the way you should approach making the choices and changes to achieve a living freer lifestyle. Look at it this way. If you can eliminate one daily or weekly function in your overly busy life and that frees up one hour per week, that's 52 hours a year that you can now rededicate to something more meaningful or productive or relaxing and probably all three.

2. Downsize

Can you think of a single thing in you life or in your home that takes up space and/or time to store or maintain? Perhaps it's a closet full of old board games or even obsolete electronic games that have been replaced by something newer. I have absolutely no doubt that this is at least (and most likely many, but just start with one) one thing that you can do without. If that space was vacated it could be reassigned to something more relevant or, better yet, it might multiply into greater downsizing in the future.

3. Economize

One of the biggest challenges most everyone faces in our contemporary society is financial issues. You don't have to listen to the news or the cable news analysts or read the papers or most serious periodicals where finances are not a significant issue for so many people. And, this isn't just a U.S. domestic issue. It's global. The exciting thing is there are so many ways to become more frugal without denying yourself of a very nice lifestyle. In fact, by becoming more frugal, you're going to find the resources to live better and freer. It's like getting a tax free pay raise.

Suppose you can economize by saving $50 per week on various things that may not really be as important as you thought they were or they are recurring expenses that have outlived your interest or their usefulness. That results in $2,600.00 in tax free found money per year. Will that make your life better and freer? Will you and your family or significant other (if you have them) happier? That found money can do a lot of things for you.

No Rocket Science Required

So, are you with me on this? I know that this sounds simplistic, perhaps, overly simplistic. But, I said we were going to apply the K.I.S.S. principle, so the operative word is simple. Unfortunately, it's often the simple things that are overrun by the complex details of life. I also can't tell you precisely what you should simplify, downsize and economize. I don't know your life. And, let's make this perfectly clear. This is not rocket science or brain surgery.

21 Days and $24,000.00 Tax Free

In 1982, I was attending a friend and client's seminar on closing sales. Now, I make it a point, anytime I attend any function, especially an educational function, to gain something from it. One nugget of information or an idea can positively change a person's life. At the seminar, my friend, Dave, discussed a book I had read years before this particular function. The book was Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. In the book Dr. Maltz said that it takes 21 days to make or break any habit, good or bad. As I said, I was already familiar with this concept, but I decided that was going to be my takeaway from this particular function. I thought about it and finally decided I was going to stop drinking coffee. I didn't have a problem with coffee and I liked coffee. But, I realized that it was a habitual aspect of my life, as it is for the vast majority of adults.

That day in 1982 was the last day I drank a cup of coffee. It's 30 years later. I still like coffee and I can drink it any time I choose to. But, it is now a habit to NOT drink coffee. I like it, but I didn't and still don't need it. I can't tell you how much money not drinking coffee has saved me over the years, but I dare say it's well into the range of several thousand dollars. Just one cup of some kind of premium coffee each day, seven days a week at an average of $3.00/cup is a savings of $1,095.00 per year.

One Target, But A Triple Score

So, let's examine this. First, this one choice has simplified my life. I don't have to plan stops at any of the variety of places that sell such premium coffees. At one stop per day at about 10 minutes per stop, that's nearly 61 hours per year that I've gained and made my life simpler. Second, I don't have a car full of empty coffee cups and I don't have a coffee maker to take up space, clean and maintain. That is one less thing to complicate my life - by downsizing an appliance and accessories I don't require. Third, I've already economized by nearly $1,100.00, but add to that the savings from not buying coffee grounds and other fixings for making my own coffee. That's probably an additional savings of probably more than $300.00/year. So, one lifestyle choice has simplified my life, downsized my "stuff" and given me about a $1,400.00 to $1,500.00 tax free raise each year. Average it out over the years to $800.00 to allow for inflation since 1982 and I've realized about $24,000.00 of simplified life. Not bad, huh?

And, of course, I can (and have) done this with other facets of my life. They are all personal choices for MY lifestyle and may not relate to your choices or lifestyle. The other significant thing to illustrate the K.I.S.S. principle is that I only chose one facet of my lifestyle and it positively impacted the three steps I'm suggesting you consider for starting to live freer.

K.I.S.S. - A Reprise

Here's another thing to include in this equation. Whatever facets of your life you choose as your first stabs at simplifying, downsizing and economizing don't have to be major things. Going back to the elephant illustration, choose small things initially. Believe me, when you take a look at your week, you're going to be saying "boy, if I didn't have to do this my life would be simpler. If I could just get rid of this thing I never use or wear any longer I'd have more space and feel less cramped. If I cut back on this expenditure a little each week or walked to the park or gym instead of driving and using $3.50 to $4.00 per gallon gas or ate out one less meal this week, you'll never notice the loss of whatever it may be. However, you'll sure begin to realize the positive benefits and improvement to your life. You'll realize that you're just a little freer then you were. And that, my friend, is the whole point. How can you life freer and happier.

Remember what I said about habits taking 21 days to make or break? Once you get in the habit of finding ways to simplify, downsize and economize, you'll have developed a positive habit that will serve you for the rest of your life. You may adopt a question I always ask myself when I see things that catch my eye. "Can I live without this?" By learning how to say yes to that question most of the time, you'll have more time, need less space (reduce your carbon footprint, too) and have more money to save, go on vacation, educate yourself and family with and anything else that will fit into your living free lifestyle. The big result is that you're going to be freer and happier and, heck, isn't that the real bottom line, anyway?

Are You Too Busy To . . .

talk with friends and family on the phone, by email or in person?

watch a movie either on TV or in the theater?

spend quality time with your spouse, significant other, children?

enjoy reading a good book just for pleasure?

prepare a special meal of one of your favorite dishes and savor it?

sit outside with a cup of coffee or tea, a glass of wine or some fine Scotch, bourbon or brandy and watch the sun rise or set?

visit a park, shopping mall, the downtown of a small town and simply people watch?

go on a road trip, tour, cruise or climb Mt. Everest?

practice the lost art of doing absolutely NOTHING?

to LIVE the ONLY LIFE you have - NOW - IN THE PRESENT?

You can add your own questions to this list. I'm sure there are many things you can think of that you often tell people that you're too busy to do.

Whose Fault Is It That We're Too Busy?

In our society there is never enough time. Of course, whose fault is that? I'm sure you'd like to blame your job or family responsibilities or commitments of all kinds you make to others that you really didn't want to do and don't want to do, but you continue to make these commitments. These commitments can be to all kinds of things of value like to your church or religious organization, to the PTA if you have kids in school, to the community theater in your town, to the Boy (Cub) Scouts, Girl (Brownies) Scouts and similar as a scout leader. Perhaps you are involved in local politics or as an officer of your home owners association. Maybe you're a little league baseball, soccer or football coach. Again, you can add as many things to this list as you can think of that impact your personal time.

So, here's the question. If you don't do all these things that take up your time, will the world come to an end? Will our society crumble if you choose taking time for yourself as opposed to being committed to so many outside drains on your time, energy and resources? I've said this before in this blog and I'll say it again, this life is not a dress rehearsal. This is the performance of a lifetime - YOUR lifetime. And here's the kicker, none of us know when the curtain is coming down on our performance.

Oh, you say, I'll get to it when the family is grown and out of the nest. Well, in the typical family of three children, that's between 22 and 30 years of your "performance." Or, you'll say, well, I'll have plenty of time to do that when I retire. Well, there goes 40 to 45 years of your performance - IF you are in a position to retire when you think you'd like to or if you even make it to retirement age. It doesn't matter what the commitment is that you've made, it all requires time, energy and resources.

Self-centered or Honest?

So, am I saying you should be totally self-centered and not participate in any of the other activities I've mentioned or the many more you can add to the list? I'm not suggesting that at all. I simply asked the question are you too busy? How can you answer that question honestly? Remember, living free means we get to make all our own choices and decisions about out own time, energy, resources and life. If you feel you're too busy, there is absolutely no one to blame for that except yourself and you can change it.

I remember, many years ago, when a friend and colleague in a multi-level marketing business I was involved in for a number of years asked me to do something for him. When I arrived at the meeting we were both attending, he asked me if I had done whatever it was he had requested me to do. I hadn't and I replied with a pretty typical answer (excuse), "No! I didn't have time to do it." He responded to me, saying, "Don't you mean you didn't MAKE time to do it?" The truth is, I didn't make the time because I was too busy doing too many other things, any number of which were very likely not as important as fulfilling his request. And to be brutally honest, I'd have to say I really didn't want to do what he requested, so I didn't make time to do it. Why didn't I just say, "No, I don't choose to do this." rather then accepting an obligation I didn't want to fulfill?

I don't know about you, but I've spent most of my life being too busy. I hate that some of us allow five, six and seven decades go by before we figure out that we're too busy because we don't MAKE the time to do the things we want to do for ourselves.

Grandparents Exploited

I've dated a few women over the years who were delightful and wonderful company. They were grandparents (to be honest, I'm not yet a grandparent). Everything they wanted to do had to be arranged around their children's and grandchildren's schedules.  It might have been babysitting, attending two or three soccer games in a day once or twice a week, picking the grandchildren up after school, watching them while the parents went away on a business trip or vacation for two. Basically, while I very much enjoyed these women and their companionship, I wasn't interested in having my life and my planning of events I believed that we'd both enjoy sharing to be controlled by their children and grandchildren.

These were choices these lovely women made and I make no judgment about their choices. However, their choices shouldn't impact my choices. In some instances, women I've dated had no problem with me getting to know their friends, families and even ex-husbands, but they didn't want to spend time with my friends, family or former spouse in situation such as a family wedding or similar. So, I went alone. My choice.

Maybe you're a grand parent or a parent. And, okay, I'm not. Would I feel any differently if I were? Well, to be frank and honest, NO! I wouldn't feel different. Once again, as a grandparent, you (and I) have raised a family. We've sacrificed a significant part of our lives. Now, the way the system works is that if our offspring choose (again, parenthood is a choice) to have and raise a family, that is their choice and shouldn't deter me from enjoying the natural freedom we are all born with. I am certainly not saying that grandparents shouldn't spend time or want to spend time with their grandchildren. I'm simply saying that, again, how much time and when you want to spend that time should be YOUR choice and not controlled by your offspring or the grandchildren.

We are too busy because we allow others to impose their needs, desires and will on us. I've even seen offspring use grandchildren as pawns in a game of extortion. If you don't fulfill our needs and requirements, we won't allow you to see your grandchildren. That's criminal and exploitation at its worst. I've even seen offspring exploit their parents for the inheritance long before the parents pass away.

Exploitation, Excuses or Choices

There are many things that we can use as excuses for being too busy, but everyone of them is of our own choosing. So, let's think about this realistically. I'm speaking to young people beginning in their late teens, 20's and up and those from my age bracket and beyond. If you don't feel free and you're too busy, whose responsible for that? Correct! You are. You made the choices. If you want to live freer and gain the most personal fulfillment from the "performance of your lifetime," who can make that happen? Correct, again! YOU can.

The world or our society or your town or your neighborhood or your family is not going to crumble around you because you choose to be freer and enjoy this limited engagement of this play called "My Life." Sure, some may be inconvenienced, but that's really and truly NOT your problem. They are responsible for their own lives and the choices they've made. To be sure, there will be a lot of people, especially family and friends, who will do their best to lay guilt trips on you. Once again, if you accept those guilt trips, that's your choice. But, you are not responsible for their lives, challenges, schedule conflicts, responsibilities, obligations, freedom or happiness. Those are theirs to bear based on choices they made. They are performing in their own limited engagement of "Their Lives."

Just Say NO!

Learn the very difficult act of saying "NO!" when someone, anyone, regardless of their relationship to you, requests, expects or demands something of you that is not your responsibility whether it's at work, in the community, family or whatever. You'll see that, magically, whatever it is, will still get accomplished if it's that important . . . without you.

Take that exciting cruise or tour that is a once in a lifetime opportunity over the holidays. Learn to use Skype and share the holiday through the magic of the Internet with the kids and grandkids from wherever you may be. Go enjoy Disney World and Epcot center (you're still a kid no matter what your age) on your schedule. Watch those sunrises and sunsets. Read those books you've been putting off for months or years. Go see those movies that catch your attention or just have your own James Bond (or any other) movie marathon at home with the phone turned off. Learn the lost art of doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING . . . because you can.

And, whatever you do, DON'T buy into guilt - read or reread Step 8 on Relationships and Step 9 on Amends (and guilt).

There is never a good reason to be "too busy" to enjoy the limited engagement of "My Life," the performance of YOUR lifetime.